
Da Elf Got ta Go ta da Bigass Univesaty
M/M Christmas Fun
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $3.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Jasper Johnson
About this listen
Ima happy slutty Elf, an Ima nat ashamed ta say so. Santa found me humpin Rudolf, back in dam days, so work was hard ta come by, especially in dam Reindeer Stables.
I wana ta be an archeologists for as far back as I cud remember an I was willin ta do anyffin ta get dat degree. I wuda volunteer ta do anyffin an go anywhere just ta get experience in proper excavatin. I meant sittin for hours in da hot sun an usin da tablespoons ta dig at da earff. Dan if we found anyffin, lika lital piece of flint, it meant brushin it wiff a tiny paintbrush for 'bout ffirty minutes an dan we would catalog it an numba it at ta what grid we had found it.
Listener Advisory: Dear listeners, dis Christmas stary is meant ta be enjoyed by adults, 18 years or oler. Da stary deals exclusively wiff gay elves havin sex, so if da potential listener finds homosexuality offensive, dan dis is nat a stary for you. While da tawns an places and elves are real all of da characters are strictly fictional an are nat meant ta portray anyone livin or dead in da Pole or woteva. An tis ritten in da Elf languages. So do da bigass spellars, don judge.
©2021 Kashel Char Author (P)2024 Kashel Char AuthorListeners also enjoyed...
-
When a Rich Thug Wants You
- By: Pebbles Starr
- Narrated by: Dana La Voz
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Get ready to meet Raelyn, Symba, and Blue! These three friends go through it all together including relationships, heartaches, and drama. But things really get interesting when Caesar and his boy Canyon come into the picture. These rich thugs have always been ones to get whatever they want - even sexy, stubborn women who think they can't be tamed!
-
-
enjoyed audiobook
- By kay on 04-18-16
By: Pebbles Starr
-
Semi-Tough
- By: Dan Jenkins
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seventh on Sports Illustrated's Top 100 Sports Books of All Time, Dan Jenkins' Semi-Tough is a raucous, politically incorrect football spoof starring New York Giants' redneck star Billy Clyde Puckett. As Puckett records the outrageous buildup to his team's Super Bowl clash with cross-town rivals the Jets, his best friend's voluptuous main squeeze puts some knee-buckling moves on him that he finds difficult to dodge.
-
-
Don't be mislead by the 1 star reviews
- By Chris Barrett on 12-02-20
By: Dan Jenkins
-
Forget Me Not
- By: Felice Stevens
- Narrated by: Tristan James
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jake is convinced he’ll be alone forever, until he’s forced to attend a company retreat at a dude ranch in Texas, where he meets a cowboy who sends him spinning out of control. A decision needs to be made: work it out or say good-bye. Jake’s life is in New York, but he can’t walk away from Shea or the ranch, and Shea must decide if the dream of a lifetime will lead him right back to the place where he started - where his heart belongs.
-
-
Good
- By Laura on 03-11-21
By: Felice Stevens
-
Belle
- By: Treasure Hernandez
- Narrated by: Ebony Ford
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Named for her beauty, Belle Dubois is as sweet as can be. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she is always given the best - until her world is turned upside down. When she's away in her second year of college, she receives a call informing her that her parents have been murdered. She soon finds out that they were broke, and subsequently, so is she. With no home and nowhere to go, Belle is whisked under the wing of a woman named Aria, better known by her stage name, Passion. Before she knows it, Belle becomes a part of an underground world that she knows nothing about.
-
-
If only there was a part 2
- By Del on 10-17-24
-
Dolores Claiborne
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Frances Sternhagen
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dolores Claiborne is suspected of killing Vera Donovan, her wealthy employer, and when the police question her, she tells the story of her life, harkening back to her disintegrating marriage and the suspicious death of her violent husband 30 years earlier. Dolores also tells of Vera's physical and mental decline and how she became emotionally demanding in recent years.
-
-
Absolutely Fantastic!
- By Matthew S. Hill on 06-06-16
By: Stephen King
-
Odd Billy Todd
- By: N. C. Reed
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 25 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Billy Todd has always been different. Most people called him odd, and those were the nice people. Though he was born with a learning disability, Billy's parents never allowed him to consider himself disabled. Raised to be self-sufficient, Billy might not be as smart as some, but he was a lot smarter than people realized.
-
-
Odd Billy Todd is fantastic
- By bebe on 08-16-19
By: N. C. Reed
-
When a Rich Thug Wants You
- By: Pebbles Starr
- Narrated by: Dana La Voz
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Get ready to meet Raelyn, Symba, and Blue! These three friends go through it all together including relationships, heartaches, and drama. But things really get interesting when Caesar and his boy Canyon come into the picture. These rich thugs have always been ones to get whatever they want - even sexy, stubborn women who think they can't be tamed!
-
-
enjoyed audiobook
- By kay on 04-18-16
By: Pebbles Starr
-
Semi-Tough
- By: Dan Jenkins
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seventh on Sports Illustrated's Top 100 Sports Books of All Time, Dan Jenkins' Semi-Tough is a raucous, politically incorrect football spoof starring New York Giants' redneck star Billy Clyde Puckett. As Puckett records the outrageous buildup to his team's Super Bowl clash with cross-town rivals the Jets, his best friend's voluptuous main squeeze puts some knee-buckling moves on him that he finds difficult to dodge.
-
-
Don't be mislead by the 1 star reviews
- By Chris Barrett on 12-02-20
By: Dan Jenkins
-
Forget Me Not
- By: Felice Stevens
- Narrated by: Tristan James
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jake is convinced he’ll be alone forever, until he’s forced to attend a company retreat at a dude ranch in Texas, where he meets a cowboy who sends him spinning out of control. A decision needs to be made: work it out or say good-bye. Jake’s life is in New York, but he can’t walk away from Shea or the ranch, and Shea must decide if the dream of a lifetime will lead him right back to the place where he started - where his heart belongs.
-
-
Good
- By Laura on 03-11-21
By: Felice Stevens
-
Belle
- By: Treasure Hernandez
- Narrated by: Ebony Ford
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Named for her beauty, Belle Dubois is as sweet as can be. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, she is always given the best - until her world is turned upside down. When she's away in her second year of college, she receives a call informing her that her parents have been murdered. She soon finds out that they were broke, and subsequently, so is she. With no home and nowhere to go, Belle is whisked under the wing of a woman named Aria, better known by her stage name, Passion. Before she knows it, Belle becomes a part of an underground world that she knows nothing about.
-
-
If only there was a part 2
- By Del on 10-17-24
-
Dolores Claiborne
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Frances Sternhagen
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dolores Claiborne is suspected of killing Vera Donovan, her wealthy employer, and when the police question her, she tells the story of her life, harkening back to her disintegrating marriage and the suspicious death of her violent husband 30 years earlier. Dolores also tells of Vera's physical and mental decline and how she became emotionally demanding in recent years.
-
-
Absolutely Fantastic!
- By Matthew S. Hill on 06-06-16
By: Stephen King
-
Odd Billy Todd
- By: N. C. Reed
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 25 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Billy Todd has always been different. Most people called him odd, and those were the nice people. Though he was born with a learning disability, Billy's parents never allowed him to consider himself disabled. Raised to be self-sufficient, Billy might not be as smart as some, but he was a lot smarter than people realized.
-
-
Odd Billy Todd is fantastic
- By bebe on 08-16-19
By: N. C. Reed
-
Still Standing
- Wild West MC , Book 1
- By: Kristen Ashley
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon, Jason Clarke - epilogue
- Length: 14 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Clara Delany walks into the Aces High Motorcycle Club's hangout, she's hit rock bottom. She's hiding her car from the repo man, she has less than two dollars in her bank account, and the only employment she can get is delivering messages for a criminal. All because of a man. Therefore, she's sworn them off. And then she meets West "Buck" Hardy, president of the Aces High MC.
-
-
Big Fan of K.A. - this is just poorly redone Motorcycle Man unfortunately
- By Lissa L. on 02-05-21
By: Kristen Ashley
-
The First Mountain Man 1-3 Bundle (Dramatized Adaptation)
- By: William W. Johnstone
- Narrated by: Christopher Graybill, Dan Sondak, David Coyne, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 54 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
On nothing more than a lark, he leaves his family and begins a journey from Ohio westward. Along the way, he runs up against badlands and bad men, loses his freedom, gains his freedom and learns the first rule of the frontier: Do whatever it takes to survive. With ruthless enemies after him - both White men and Indians - he’ll head for a place as brutal as it is beautiful - the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains.
-
-
Really enjoyed this particular weastern.. ☺
- By PUBLICENEMY#1 on 01-21-22
-
Mystery Man
- By: Kristen Ashley
- Narrated by: Kate Russell
- Length: 14 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gwendolyn Kidd has met the man of her dreams. He's hot, he's sexy, and what started as a no-names-exchanged night of passion has blossomed into a year and a half-long pleasure fest. Sure, it's a little strange that he only appears in her bed at night, but Gwen is so sure he's the one, she just can't turn him away…. Hawk Delgado knows more about Gwen than she could ever imagine. She's gorgeous, headstrong, and skittish about relationships. But Hawk is facing his own demons, demons that keep him from connecting with anyone.
-
-
Fan-freakin-tastic!!!!!
- By AngelaP on 09-08-13
By: Kristen Ashley
-
Bargain at Bravebank: A Western Steampunk Adventure
- The Legacy of Lucky Logan, Book 1
- By: J.R. Frontera
- Narrated by: Roger Clark
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A deal goes bad...and Van Delano is left to die in the desert. But most folk say he’s been cursed with a double-barreled shotgun of mulishness. So, when his first attempt at bargaining for his kidnapped sister’s freedom lands him with a dead horse, a bullet in his leg, and miles of desert between him and the nearest town, he’s not about to give up. He’ll fight and claw, cheat and steal, even kill, if he has to.
-
-
Roger Clark brings this book to life!
- By Meionnamei on 08-23-20
By: J.R. Frontera
-
Street Life
- By: Jihad
- Narrated by: Keith Benn Jr.
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A former inmate, who is now an assistant stock broker and a part-time gang counselor, details his life on the inner city streets of Atlanta as a notorious drug dealer, vividly recreating the his struggle to break the cycle and walk the straight and narrow.
-
-
OH
- By k. dub on 11-08-22
By: Jihad
-
Powder Blu
- By: Brandi Johnson
- Narrated by: Ellis Park
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Blu thinks she knows all there is to know about the dope game. She's watched her momma serve out of the same place they lay their heads since she was a little girl. Then her brother's best friend, Budz, shows her that there is more to the game than just selling drugs. With love, loyalty, and wealth on her side, what more could she want? Blu finds out when she is introduced to Black, and Blu is determined to make him her reality. Torn between two men who have secrets and motives of their own, Blu has no idea what she's gotten herself into, but she knows there is only one way out.
-
-
Great Read.....
- By Tia on 02-10-21
By: Brandi Johnson
-
Header 2
- By: Edward Lee
- Narrated by: Lucas Boyd
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“What’s a header?” Fifteen years ago, Travis Clyde Tuckton asked that self-same question to his ancient grandfather, and the answer came in a rampage of twisted bloodlust, missing persons, and the most macabre and indescribable act of vengeance that human consciousness has ever devised...Join steadfast hayseeds Helton, Dumar, and Micky-Mack as they venture forth into a wretched mire of unadulterated horror, where the symbol of ultimate evil is not a psycho-killer, nor a demon, but the full-tilt rev of power tools screaming through the endless night...
-
-
headers 2, its not p/c but thats what i liked about it.
- By kalbo991 on 05-25-20
By: Edward Lee
-
Black Sky
- By: Victor Methos
- Narrated by: Jay Ward
- Length: 4 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Civil War has just ended and world-weary Sheriff Jesse Smith likes his town quiet and peaceful. One night, the body of a young woman is found torn apart, and that peace is shattered as it dawns on him that a predator is among them. With little to go on, all the men in the town are potential suspects, and Jesse begins an investigation that spans the social spectrum. Unable to find the killer, the mayor goes against Jesse's wishes and brings in bounty hunters. But the cure may be more dangerous than the disease.
-
-
A very different Victor Methos novel!
- By Wayne on 03-12-20
By: Victor Methos
-
Daddy's House
- By: Azarel
- Narrated by: Katherine Dollison
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A life filled with fast money and violence lands 23-year-old Candice Holmes in a witness protection program. When she finds out that no one is capable of saving her from the wrath of the ruthless family she is scheduled to testify against, she finds herself on the run. With nowhere to hide, Candice ends up fleeing to New York City where she is introduced to Daddy - who owns a house where little girls are doing big things. Candice soon realizes that the street life she left behind is nothing compared to what goes on at Daddy’s House.
-
-
Okay
- By Shay on 08-26-20
By: Azarel
-
Little Black Girl Lost
- By: Keith Lee Johnson
- Narrated by: Beresford Bennett
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Set in 1950s New Orleans, Little Black Girl Lost is a powerful tale filled with sex, greed, and the explosive political and social climates of an America long gone. Fifteen-year-old beauty Johnnie Wise lives her life devoted to God. But her innocence is shattered when her mother, who has been a prostitute for years, sells Johnnie's body to lecherous insurance man Earl Shamus.
-
-
The Power of the P!
- By Kelly on 02-09-07
-
Firestick (Dramatized Adaptation)
- Firestick, Book 1
- By: William W. Johnstone, J.A. Johnstone
- Narrated by: full cast, Joe Mallon, Michael John Casey, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In his mountain-man days, Elwood “Firestick” McQueen was practically a living legend. His hunting, tracking, and trapping skills were known far and wide. But it was his deadly accuracy with a rifle that earned him the Indian name “Firestick.” His two best buddies are Malachi “Beartooth” Skinner—whose knife was as fatal as a grizzly’s chompers—and Jim “Moosejaw” Hendricks, who once wielded the jawbone of a moose to crush his enemies in the heat of battle. Of course, things are different nowadays.
By: William W. Johnstone, and others
-
Go West, Young Man
- By: J.A. Johnstone, William W. Johnstone
- Narrated by: Chris Henry Coffey
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Missouri, 1860. Rumors of war between the North and South are spreading across the land. In rural Green County, many of the farmers are already choosing sides. But not John Zachary. His loyalties lie with his family first - and his heart is telling him to go west. Hoping to build a new life in the fertile valleys of Oregon, he convinces his best friend, Emmitt Braxton, to pack up their families and join him on a wagon train across the Oregon Trail. The journey will be long and hard.
-
-
My Favorite Johnstone Book
- By Lisa Rubio on 10-26-23
By: J.A. Johnstone, and others
What listeners say about Da Elf Got ta Go ta da Bigass Univesaty
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- B.McGrath
- 12-19-21
entertaining
If you're looking for some laughs and lighthearted fun this could be your jam. Like nothing I've ever listened to, so take a chance. I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this and am giving an honest review. The narrator was unique.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Matthew
- 06-09-22
Different
This was a different kind of book.
I wasn't used to the dialogue or writing script.
This is a new to me Author. I'm not sure if this is their usual writing style with weird spellings or else if it just fits this character / book.
Narration was decent.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!