Mating in Captivity
Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
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Narrated by:
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Esther Perel
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By:
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Esther Perel
About this listen
Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?
In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.
While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.
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Critic reviews
"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)
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Sexual Intimacy for Women helps female couples examine the emotional, physical, and psychological aspects of their relationships, with the goal of creating more intimacy. Exercises and client-based anecdotes from Dr. Corwin’s years of experience with same-sex couples help women overcome common issues around orgasm, body image, identity, aging, and parenthood. Dr. Corwin dispels myths, examines the intricacies of female desire, and gives advice to help couples achieve long-lasting, healthy, and fulfilling relationships.
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the most important book I have read in years
- By Amazon Customer on 07-11-17
By: Glenda Corwin
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Erotic Intelligence
- Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
- By: Alexandra Katehakis
- Narrated by: Esther White
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
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Enjoyable, exciting sex is possible after sex addiction. As a sex, marriage, and family therapist, Alexandra Katehakis introduces a successful program for sufferers and their loved ones that will help them hone their erotic intelligence by making sense of the past, creating healthy habits in the present, and looking toward a more intimate relationship that nurtures honesty and closeness. With Katehakis's help, sex addicts can get in touch with their healthy sexual side and embrace true intimacy and acceptance in themselves and in their mates.
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Care for Self Recovery
- By John Simon on 07-30-19
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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The Sexually Confident Wife
- Connect With Your Husband in Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit
- By: Shannon Ethridge
- Narrated by: Shannon Ethridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
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Every woman deserves to enjoy great sex with her husband, without inhibition or shame. But many wives live with the burden of self-doubt or feel mystified about what men really want in bed. Others wrestle with memories of sexual abuse or neglect, guilt over past intimate relationships, or negative feelings about their own bodies. Maybe you’ve been thinking you were alone in your struggle to discover sexual fulfillment.
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Christian based. Not obvious in the title or description.
- By Tony on 02-26-21
By: Shannon Ethridge
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If the Buddha Married
- Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path
- By: Charlotte Kasl
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
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If the Buddha Married is filled with the same highly practical, spiritually sound guidance that so clearly touched a chord with fans of If the Buddha Dated. Charlotte Kasl is renowned for her ability to speak with depth, wisdom, and humor on important matters of the heart. In If the Buddha Married, Kasl inspires us to create fulfilling and vibrant relationships through a commitment to awareness and truth.
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It's not about "PERFORMANCE".
- By chuck on 03-19-12
By: Charlotte Kasl
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
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- By: Andrew G. Marshall
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
- By Christopher on 05-09-19
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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On Our Best Behavior
- The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
- By: Elise Loehnen
- Narrated by: Elise Loehnen
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
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We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses—often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts—are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins.
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Autobiography in Disguise
- By Lindsey on 06-11-23
By: Elise Loehnen
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Every Woman's Marriage
- Igniting the Joy and Passion You Both Desire
- By: Shannon Ethridge, Greg Ethridge
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Are you a "desperate housewife," committed to marriage yet longing for a deeper, more intimate connection with your husband? Believe it or not, you can have the marriage you long for - if you’re willing to take desperate measures.
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Great Book for marriage.
- By Darin on 11-19-11
By: Shannon Ethridge, and others
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Men's Work
- A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom
- By: Connor Beaton
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In Men’s Work, ManTalks founder Connor Beaton offers the tactical, self-led guide men have been looking for. Here, he destigmatizes inner work by reframing it as a kind of psychological warrior training that many men can relate to and have been craving. Beaton walks you through a framework for facing the hidden and rejected aspects of yourself—factors that lead to self-sabotage, anxiety, and depression.
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From a woman’s perspective
- By NBB on 03-21-23
By: Connor Beaton
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What listeners say about Mating in Captivity
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mary
- 06-25-21
Ignore the naysaying. The book is fantastic.
Do you want committed, connected love to stay hot? Do you think it’s impossible, but wish it weren’t? Haven’t you seen the rare couples for whom it is true? Listen to the book. Ester Perel is a jewel with a very good point.
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18 people found this helpful
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- Marie
- 09-21-17
Very anecdotal
I appreciate much of this book. But it felt like at least 90% of it was anecdotal- which makes it interesting but made me wish for more direct or applicable insight from the author.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Susie Wyshak
- 12-30-15
A Long Term Success Manual for All Couples
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
First, take a listen to Esther Perel's TED talks to see if you like her voice. I found listening to Esther Perel not only instructive but hypnotic. Her many many examples of clients she has helped through her counseling provides all sorts of useful scenarios (and hangups) as well as resolutions that couples have achieved no matter what they were struggling with.
Which character – as performed by Esther Perel – was your favorite?
The narrator
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The bottomline is that eroticism is key to happy relationships. It's not all about sex. You will learn how to have the excitement and tension and lust in your committed relationship that you might be tempted to find outside of your partnership. She'll teach you how to spark what keeps us alive in the long run within your long-term relationships.
Any additional comments?
Have an open mind as you listen. You might be tempted to think "that's not our problem." But it probably is. And looking inward as you listen will really help.
It's nice that she tells stories about couples who are both straight and gay. She also touches on polyamory / open relationships.
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- Jill
- 09-23-19
A must read for anyone in a relationship
This book is fascinating and helpful. Ester Perel is so amazing and insightful in such a real-life way. She has a no BS way of breaking things down. Even when an issue in the book is not something that directly applies to your situation, the information and insight she gives are gold. Highly recommend this for couples, especially if your in a funk.
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- Silvia
- 11-25-18
Great content.
The book itself is very interesting, as I expected, having listened to Esther's other works.
The narration, though, was somewhat flat. I don't know if it's because I compared it with Esther's audible series of interviews with couples, but I found it a little monotone. Like she was just reading the book without really feeling, living it. Which is weird, since she's the author. It's great content nonetheless, and worth listening to.
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- William Isley
- 08-24-17
I've gained a different perspective on my sexuality.
I love the non American perspective Esther brings to the discussion of sex and our preoccupation with the penis. The clitoral complex rarely gets any of the lime light. Think"She Comes First." Amazing book.
Through this book I've been able to come to terms with my actions as a monogamous married man of 10 years and why things are the way they are in the bedroom. I can make them better, I think.
Amazing book if one is willing to do some soul searching and non-egoic perusal of one's beliefs and preprogramming from childhood.
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- KristinJ
- 06-18-17
Must Read for anyone in a relationship
Fascinating. Great, imaginative, realistic ideas for maintaining passion in a committed relationship. I couldn't put it down.
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- E
- 09-04-15
Recommended to many friends!
Very powerful book for couples. I appreciate how Esther is so bold but understanding. Don't let the title intimidate you!
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- DeVon
- 06-02-15
Masterful
So far out of all the books and workshops I've done, she's the best! She gets it. She gets me. I feel like there really is a way for me to have love, desire, spontaneity, passion, security, fulfillment, in a long term relationship. Thank you Ester, God bless you!
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- claudia
- 06-26-17
Fantastic
Interesting, poignant, and refreshing. Perel's voice and diction is hypnotic! Looking forward to her upcoming book which I hope she narrates once again.
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