Barks Books

Great to read a book romance with a mature couple.

Revisado: 11-06-23

This was such a cute romance featuring characters in their late 40's/early 50's. Both introverts who prefer online interactions to reality, they become guild members and fast friends before they ever meet IRL. I found it hilarious that she is super grumpy and hates people and portrays herself as an elderly butt-kicker so she won't get hit on by her guild members - including her soon-to-be love interest, and they all assume she's in her 80's. There's humor and heart and some pain in the way of terrible parents, toxic people and homophobia.

The narrators were excellent and never tossed me out of the story as some tend to do when they try to raise or lower their voice when character switching. A definite recommend if you want a fun, slow-burn romance.

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Inspiring and beautifully told.

Revisado: 11-06-23

I follow Niall Harbison's account on social media and feel like I already know all of these dogs and it was a joy reading about their stories and also about Niall's road to recovery in more detail. I think you will get more out of this book if you follow him on Instagram, YouTube or even the nightmare site that is Twitter. The audio is read beautifully by the author. Definitely recommended but I believe the book has photos which the audio does not so you might want to check that out first if you're unfamiliar with the dogs. Any way you discover the stories, I think you'll be inspired by these stories of survival, heartbreak and hope.

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Hmmmm

Revisado: 09-02-23

I was SO excited when I heard the Monstrous series was coming Audible. So excited that I've been pre-ordering them before I listened to one of them. Yikes, why do I do that? Alas, I wasn't as thrilled with the performance as so many people seem to be. I listen to audios pretty much every single day and a narrator can make or break a book for me. I'm kind of picky about having a voice in my head for hours on end and I will quit a thing if it is annoying me and pick it up in paper instead.

I read and devoured this entire series earlier this year and I'm glad i read them in ebook format first because I'm not sure if I would've had the same enthusiasm to keep going if I'd listened to Soul Eater first. Wyn's voice was fantastic. Zero complaints. Loved it. Pretty much perfect. BUT (oh you knew that was coming) the narration for Danny was not great. He's a young (23), sensitive, funny guy from New-Louisiana but the narrator gave him sort of a gruff older sounding voice with a bit of a weird accent that kept going in and out and it kept throwing me off and tossing me out of the story. I eventually got used to it but it took a long while. More time than I usually give but I love this story so much I persevered. The production wasn't quite ready for public consumption IMO and needed one more round with an editor or a rabid fan. Lines were repeated quite a few times, there was some background noise or something and Wyn read Danny's and I think Eden's lines at least a time or two, also throwing me out of the story. Credits cost me $ so I will notice these things.

My advice to someone new to this series who is picky about voices would be to maybe read the ebook/paperback first so you can let the characters come together in your mind before letting the audio into your brain so you can experience all of the emotion between these characters. But do read it!

Despite my comments above, this is an amazing monster/man love story and OF COURSE I enjoyed listening to it despite my complaints.

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Whew, this is a brutal one!

Revisado: 10-12-20

This is a book that is absolutely not for everyone. Honesty, I feared it wasn’t for me because I have a weak spot when it comes to animals being harmed but I kept going because my friends' reviews convinced me not to be a quitter. I’m going to warn you though if you cannot handle <spoiler>dog death</spoiler> please be very careful when picking this up. I nearly put the audio down forever after a certain scene because it was graphic and it hurt me to the very core.

With that said, this book turned out to be a very surprising and brutal, horrific thriller. It is not for the squeamish but if you can handle the rougher stuff you might not be sorry you read it.

Blake is a wealthy guy who has received a new job and relocated his family to Malibu. He gets up one morning and steps in dog poo. The poor dog is a little out of sorts with the move but Blake, being the awful person he is, rubs the dog's nose in it and leaves the poop sitting there on the floor for his wife to clean up! FOR HIS WIFE TO CLEAN UP!!. AFTER HE STEPPED IN IT! I apologize for screaming but damn what a jerk! He is totally deserving of death from the get-go. I hoped it would happen soon but then there wouldn’t be much of a story then, I suppose. Soon after a stranger rings the doorbell asking for an interview and everything goes sideways from that moment on.

This book takes some wild and unexpected turns and no one here is exactly as they present and I liked that best about this story. The characterization and tension are so well done. It kept me guessing and it has some secrets! It’s violent and cruel and it will make you cringe. It gave me some major Funny Games vibes at times and trust me there is nothing funny about that movie! As I listened, I kept thinking “why am I doing this to myself?” and I still cannot answer that question properly. In the end, I would not reread this book but it was a compelling and horrifying story that surprised me and I’m glad I saw it through to the very end.

As for the audio? The narration was absolutely excellent and spot-on when it came to the men but oh sweet Satan the lady voice! The lady voice will send shivers down your spine with its unidentifiable accent and piercing falsetto but it does break up the tension, so there’s that.

I’m going with a four here, I think. I hate number ratings but they’re a necessary evil. Read this story only if you want to give all bell ringing people a hard side-eye for the rest of your life.

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This will take your mind off your woes!

Revisado: 03-24-20

This book will not be for everyone but it was definitely for me. It managed to take my mind off of the current nightmarish timeline we’re caught up in and thrust me into someone else's for a few hours.

But, yeah, this book is not for everyone. It is extreme horror and by extreme I mean extremely gross and violent. Prepare thyself.

It’s funny too, sometimes. Or at least I thought so. And I desperately needed some pitch black humor in my life at this moment in time.

Things start out normally enough. Kim is one of those spoiled little rich cheerleader types that most of us love to hate and by us I mean me, and maybe you too if you’re busy reading a review of a book called Full Brutal but I’m not here to judge. Her daddy gives her whatever her black heart desires, as well as all the freedom in the world but she is deeply unhappy. She can’t feel things like the other girls do. Boo-hoo. Woe is her. Blah, blah, get over yourself and who cares, right? Well, this girl decides to be proactive and tries to fix her ennui and her whining and believes life will be worth living once she finds the thing that gives her a thrill. You can't fault her for that, right? She thinks that thing might be losing her virginity but soon enough she discovers that sex is blah like everything else but she’s a girl who learns from her mistakes. She learns that it’s the thrill of the dark and the dangerous that make her heart and other body parts race.

I’m going to keep from spoiling the ugly surprises that await within these pages because I think the impact will be stronger if you don’t know what’s coming. I spoiled myself because I read the blurb and skimmed a review or two before stopping my nosy self. You should know that this story features a whole heck of a lot of trigger warnings. Quite possibly all of them with the exception of prolonged animal torture (but don’t quote me on that because my brain is not working okay right now). Sometimes things bother me depending on my mood, the day, or the color of the sky but there was nothing here that made me ever want to shut it off and pour bleach in my ears.

I enjoyed this immensely despite knowing I probably shouldn’t. Kim is a monster. One of those human monsters that walk around looking like everyone else and pretending to be like the others. Full Brutal is cruel and evil and so very wrong but the fact that the perpetrator of all of these horrible misdeeds is a beautiful teenage girl worked for me. I’m not even going to pretend to lie, if it had been a grown man telling this story and finding such joy and glee in these atrocities I might’ve pulled the plug, I refuse to think about that too much or attempt to explain myself so please don't ask. You like what you like, you know? And this book held me in its gore-filled grasp until the very last word.

Narration Notes: Dani George does a decent job with the narration. A few of the guys sounded a bit rough but they didn’t really matter anyway, lol.

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There is a lot of poop!

Revisado: 01-19-20 El oyente recibió este título gratis

I don’t why I pick up books like these. It’s some strange compulsion that I cannot ignore. Some are better than others. This one falls right about in the middle but scores all the points for the gross-out.

An unhinged man enters the home of a young lady caring for her ill granny. He’s not there to make friends and have some tea either! He’s a dude who takes what he wants and walks away. He can do this because he has some sort of power that allows him to remain unseen once he walks away from the scene of his atrocities. I can’t fully wrap my head around that concept but I kept reading to find anyhow. So you can probably guess he is there for rapiness but he ends up finding more. Erica figures she’s not going to fight this guy because it will only be worse for her and she’s a little intrigued by the excitement of it all. After some extremely dubious con sex occurs and Walt realizes she shares his super power and they head off into the sunset and live happily ever after doing whatever the heck they want without consquence.

Well, not really.

Love isn’t exactly easy when you’re a murderous sociopath who likes to eat people and glory in your own filth.

What follows is a horribly gross, murderous and twisted road trip filled with wicked turns and cruel acts that were nearly too much even for me. I’m talking poop covered mattresses, a poop filled room, poop piles tinged with blood. There is poop. There is too much poop! Poop isn’t something I like very much. I see enough poop. I raised two kids and currently have five pets. I need no more poop in my life.

Anyhow, what this book is really about is a narcissistic psycho who gets increasingly more depraved page by page. To be honest, I found it a little boring in spots. There was much debauchery but spending time in these peoples heads was sometimes tedious. They weren’t very interesting to me and I’m not quite sure what compelled me to finish so please don’t ask. I do not know what is wrong with me but I do feel like I need my brain scrubbed right now.

If you’re a similar weirdo and think you might want to push your limits this book will mostly likely do that for you!

The copy I listened to was narrated by the author who reads this tale of deviant deeds in a dead tone that suits the monsters inhabiting the story.

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Well, that was something!

Revisado: 01-10-20 El oyente recibió este título gratis

A horrible man is about to surprise his horrible wife with an “I want a divorce” pronouncement but she foils his plans with an announcement of her own and this sets into motion a strange series of events that escalates into an all out disgusting display of over the top sexual nastiness and other grossities.

If this is your thing you will have fun. I suppose fun might be the wrong word choice but if you picked up a book called Ritualistic Human Sacrifice I think you'll get what I’m trying to say here.

The story is told from Nick’s POV. He is a germaphobe and he is revolted by everything that isn’t young and perfect, and perfectly clean and fresh smelling. You will despise Nick, most likely. His wife isn’t much better. They’re both selfish and passive-aggressive and kind of deserve each other, if you’re asking me. Midway through the book I caught some clues that Nick was too dense to notice because he was too busy scrubbing his hands and thinking ugly thoughts about everyone. I anxiously listened and couldn't wait for some terrible things to befall some of these terrible people.

The terrible things take quite a while to happen. Much of the book is spent listening to Nick rant internally about everything and silently put down everyone around him. He’s a gross person. I don’t know if I made that clear enough already, haha. But the fun of this book is the anticipation. I knew something strange was going on and something horrible was going to happen and I could NOT wait for it to begin! I mean, if you are dumb enough to buy a house that smells of death and of poo simply to spite your wife then you probably deserve whatever is hiding behind the black door.

I was not let down. This is an extreme horror novel and it doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Trust me. Please tread lightly here if you don’t want to read graphic sexual violence. It over floweth in the final chapters. This is not a gentle warning. Also take a good long look at that cover. It gives you clues as to what might be in store for you. I’ve been reading gross things since I was a kid and I can stomach a lot but some of this was a bit much even for me. Fortunately there were moments of sick humor here to lighten up the mood and keep things readable. You’ll either want to read this madness or you won’t. Personally, I thought it was gross (oh yes) and ridiculously over the top but seeing Nick have to deal with it all was worth it to me.

I knocked off a star because it took too long to get going and my pesky brain couldn’t make sense of some of the plot turns. I also wish it had been even more brutal in the end for one particular person but there may be something wrong with me.

Narration Notes: I think narrator Anderson Prunty did a fantastic job with the voices. The tone fit the characters and his female voices didn’t make me cringe. Major points for that. The straight up narration bits felt a wee bit underplayed at times but it might’ve been a good choice considering how insane the story got near the end.

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Treat yourself to this old timey horror madness

Revisado: 12-13-19 El oyente recibió este título gratis

I received this book as part of Valancourt’s “Paperbacks From Hell” subscription plan and I also received it in for review consideration as an audio and I have NO regrets!

I am so thrilled Valancourt Books exists and that they are bringing these dusty old tomes back from the dead! Many of these books were first released in the 70’s and early 80’s and I have such gaps in my horror history because I missed so much. When I was kid I read Koontz and King and McCammon but didn’t branch out much further than Barker and Brite until many years later.

The Reaping is a classic late 70’s/early 80’s story. I believe it was first published in 1980 but it has the feel of a late 70’s horror flick. The plot reveal is SO ridiculous and I LOVED it.

Tom is a 40 something artist with 4 kids and a deceased wife. He hasn’t been able to pursue his art due to family obligations but don’t feel too bad for him. He has a successful business, a hot young 20-something girlfriend and a sister who takes care of all of those kids and seems quite happy to do it without complaint. She is very unlike me, haha. Anyhow, after a lackluster art showing, Tom receives an offer to paint a portrait of some eccentric old lady’s young relative. He balks at first because he’s supposed to go on a trip with his girlfriend. When the girlfriend ditches him for a job, he decides to accept the commission and heads out to a secluded old mansion where he is to stay for a week or two. This is when things start to get weird.

He hears strange sounds in the night, there are young ladies wandering the property in nun’s habits and the old lady is a prickly creature who is rude and very creepy. But Tom doesn’t let it bother him. He does his job and does some other stuff which I shall not reveal and then heads back to his life. But his time at the mansion will follow him home!

This starts off a little slow but it’s most definitely worth sticking it out through all of Tom’s pre-mansion day to day events and girlfriend woes. I liked the slow build and the mundane day in the life bits. These things are sorely missing from a lot modern day books. It helps you understand Tom before the madness begins. I also liked the fact that the kids weren’t involved in most of the scenes. When I learned that he had four little kids I probably groaned a little out loud because I feared hearing all of those kid voices for hours on end. But no worries because this was a tight little story about Tom and the mess he finds himself in.

I figured out one major thing before it was revealed and I bet everyone else who has seen a few early horror movies will too but the why, the what’s and the wtf’s that followed made it such a joy to read. None of it makes a heck of a lot of sense but somehow it all works out in the end due to the fantastic storytelling. You’ll have to go with the flow with this one and don’t ask pesky questions like “how the heck would that work?!”

Easy recommend if you’re looking for some crazy horror fun. I listened to the audiobook narrated by Hannibal Hills (and isn’t that the best name?!) and it truly enhanced my enjoyment of the story. He has a gently accented voice that I could probably listen to all day long. His women and children voices aren’t totally cringy which is something I appreciated and his male voices are perfection. I’ll definitely be on the lookout for his name again.

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Pure madness!

Revisado: 11-13-19 El oyente recibió este título gratis

I’ve read a few Jeff Strand books and that man has one skewed sense of humor. I love it. He manages to make me laugh while I’m wincing at what’s occurring in the scene. That’s some talent there. If you have a dark sense of humor you should really check out some of Strand’s many works. He has written in several genres ranging from the road-trip romance Kumquat, the bizarro Facial, thriller Stalking You Now and a slew of straight up horror that you should seek out. My Pretties is as good a place as any to start though because you’ll get a good dose of his sarcasm and who doesn’t need some of that in their life?

This story is more one about the evils of man. And woman. Both are equally evil when they want to be and especially if they’re not wired quite right. It’s about the bad stuff humans do to each other. The only monsters here are of the human variety but the carnage that happens within these pages is just as horrific as any supernatural horror monster tale I’ve ever read. So if you’re asking me, and I’m sure you were, I’m calling it horror. Or horror-thriller-suspense. Whatever. I don’t really give a cat’s butt about the categorization because it is nasty and it is gory and it is great fun. That’s really all you need to know but I’ll tell you a little bit more.

Ken likes to abduct long-haired brunettes. I am not going to tell you what he does to them. You’ll have to read the book for that horrific information. Gertie’s cousin has gone missing (at least I think it was a cousin, my memory isn’t so great and I didn’t write that down – sorry) and Gertie has taken it upon herself to do some vigilante work. She dons a wig and hangs out in sketchy areas at night hoping to attract Ken’s attention. This is probably not the best course of action but Gertie has good intentions. No one else seems to care about these missing ladies so I can’t get mad at her for that. She engages her new co-worker Charlene in this scheme because Charlene is up for anything. I loved Charlene who is smart-mouthed and sarcastic and a wee bit more level headed than her new friend Gertie .

These not-so-best laid plans surprisingly go off track. Haha. That’s all I’m saying about the story.

If you want some suspense, some black humor and some gore in your life you can’t go wrong with this book. It has all of those things and a bunch of other unpleasant (in the best way) surprises too. I was never, not once, tempted to jack up the speed on my player to get things over with quicker because the pacing is just right and the narrator does a great job with the female voices and a decent one with the males. I can easily recommend it to all of you weirdos who like this sort of thing as much as I do! 4 ½ Stars

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This isn't a book for everyone

Revisado: 08-16-19 El oyente recibió este título gratis

3 ½ Stars

The Venus Complex takes an intimate look inside the head of a man with deviant tendencies who decides to act on them and it is horrific and somehow strangely compelling. I felt rather ewww after spending time in his head and had to take breaks but that didn’t stop me from coming back to it. It’s probably not a story for everyone though . . .

A depressed fellow is told to keep a journal by his doctor in order to help with his recovery. He’s been in a terrible accident and his wife has died because he accidentally on purpose drove them off the road after releasing her seat belt. It is soon revealed that this man isn’t at all sad about the loss of his wife and for chapters on end he stews in own misery, raging at the world and hating on women. In his notebook he feels free to share his dreams of cold, blue skinned girls who aren’t mermaids, if you get my drift. These dreams are disturbing and filled with sexual deviance that leave him aching to act out on these dream-fantasies and his thoughts get pervier and pervier by the day (and that is so a word in my world – leave me alone spell-check). Soon sharing these thoughts in a notebook isn’t enough . . .

There is no sugar-coating the fact that this story isn’t an easy one to sit with. This dude is a HORRIBLE, disturbed, revolting, disgusting person, filled with a deep loathing of everyone and everything but especially womankind. He eventually fixates on a woman who he declares his perfect woman and his dream-girl before they ever have a conversation. Really? Anyhow, she becomes the inspiration for his “Venus Project”. He then decides to become an expert in serial killing and we get to come along for the ride whether we’re ready or not.

This is a dark and extreme horror novel that gets a little bogged down at times with the mundane rants made by its protagonist. It’s filled with blood, murder, rape and the blackest of black and hateful thoughts and deeds. Tread lightly if you don’t feel like you are quite ready to read the intimate thoughts of a serial killer who dreams of necrophilia. I’m not sure I was but I finished it despite myself and I feel a little icky for it, if I’m telling the complete and honest truth. Pretty much the same way I felt after reading Poppy Z. Brite’s Exquisite Corpse but that didn’t stop me from having to know how it all ends. Why am I like this? Anyhow, it disturbed me and I’m glad I am no longer in this guy’s head.

Interesting tidbit: Doug Bradley aka Pinhead reads the work most excellently and Barbie Wilde is the actress who played the female cenobite in Hellraiser movie! She has an incredibly disturbing imagination and I will most definitely be reading more of her work. If this book sounds like your thing and you enjoy audiobooks this one is calling your name!

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