Christina

Helped me feel more informed

Revisado: 07-01-21

I sought out this book when I was trying to decide if we were going to be "one and done". I felt that I needed more information to help inform the decision. This book is admittedly, obviously presented as a defense of and proponent for only children, but it is not 100% one-sided and provides a lot of real statistics to back things up. A lot of it is does feel somewhat anecdotal but this did not bother me. There is a LOT of biased, outdated and just incorrect information floating out there in society that is against only children. This book serves to balance the scales a little and present a more honest, complete picture.

Perhaps the thing that stuck with me the most is that in practically every single measurable way only children succeed at the same or higher rates than people with siblings. And the one main thing that the author seemed to readily admit was a challenge unique to onlies is that when their parents die they can experience a feeling of profound aloneness that is more acute than someone with close siblings. A feeling of being "the only one left". However the author went on to point out that death of a loved one is never easy, and even when surrounded by supportive loved ones (siblings or otherwise) there is often a feeling of emptiness and aloneness. It is part of the grieving process and not inherently problematic. And having siblings in no way guarantees that that feeling will be any different, as the strength of sibling relationships is about as easy to predict as the strength of any friendship [it's not].

While it is good to be aware of the effects being an only can have on an individual, ultimately it is completely up to the parents to decide what is right for THEM first and foremost. We make many sacrifies for our children. Choosing whether to bring a second child into the world should not be one of those sacrifices. It should not be done simply because we think we need to, because it's what's expected. This book helped me understand the full picture and ultimately I felt comfortable and now so thrilled and relieved to make the decision to be one and done.

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So glad I chose this book

Revisado: 07-01-21

There are a couple of potty training books that are extremely popular and clearly work well for a lot of people. I chose this one instead because of the more concise length (3 hrs compared to 8, for example) and the fact that I saw some reviews of other books that said the tone came across as very judgemental and unwavering in attitude. 'There's only one way (and one time) to do it right and it's my way,' kind of thing. I was not interested in feeling judged for waiting until my daughter had just turned 3, for example.

This book, while it absolutely gives a very clear method, has an attitude of warmth and support and is very careful not to judge or belittle. In just 3 hours it provided SO much information. It did not feel overly repetetive nor was it full of uncessary fluff. It provides tons of reasoning, preparation, and troubleshooting. It has help for dealing with strong-willed children and children who are not neurotypical. It uses knowledge of biology and child development, including not pressuring you to night train at the same time as day training. There are tons of examples of things you can say to your child to help them along and also warnings to avoid saying some things that I might very well have said if I had not been warned, with excellent explanations as to why they can be unhelpful or harmful. Ultimately for us my daughter was clearly very ready because training was practically instantaneous for her. She took to it immediately!

I actually forgot it was not performed by the author as I was lisenting. The narrator did a fantastic job of owning the text and presenting it in a warm, clear tone. I can't recommend this book enough!

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