Strap in because this episode of Traffic School was absolute chaos—in the best way possible. We had a jam-packed studio with Ben from the Advocates Injury Attorneys and Lieutenant Crain of the Idaho State Police, who started the show wrestling with his headphones like they were resisting arrest. Then boom—out came a fat stack of figure-eight race tickets from Crain and a $200 Visa gift card from Ben, all before a single caller got through. We learned that Ben's got a car so fast it doesn't even bother with a 60mph mark—it just blinks and you're there. Meanwhile, Viktor confessed his birthday plans were toast thanks to a waterlogged brother and ghosting children, but hey, maybe his someone will buy him a friend.

Then the callers started rolling in: Reckless John kicked things off, practically begging law enforcement to storm the mountains for helmet violations. Carl showed up with a Pinto towing more trailers than a semi, talking Saturday night cruises and inviting Ben for burgers. Parker dove deep on the deadly sins of distracted driving, while Blake launched into a philosophical debate about merging lanes and cruise control etiquette. Mitch dropped a question about outlaw tires sticking past fenders—surprise, that's illegal, people! Scott played insurance roulette, hoping lapsed paperwork wouldn’t land him in jail (close call, buddy). Then came Craig, wondering how fast you're allowed to speed just to pass someone—turns out not “motorcycle math fast,” but pretty flexible still.

And just when you thought the madness peaked, sparkly Jen called in to ask if wearing a shirt shiny enough to blind drivers could make her liable in a crash. The answer? Only if she’s driving a disco ball down I-15. But plot twist! Jen was caller number eight—the magical mystery number—and walked away $200 richer and with plans to buy even more dazzling shirts.

From ticket stacks to traffic law hacks and vehicular fashion hazards, this episode was a rollercoaster of ridiculousness, and honestly, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

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