
Spiritual Bookshelf Episode 29 :How to initiate self-change? Part 1
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Hi there, how’s your week been?
You know, life never really stays still. Whether we like it or not, change is always happening. We move from being students to joining the workforce, from being single to starting a family, from youth and strength to slowly aging. Sometimes life is comfortable, and other times, challenges hit us out of nowhere. The truth is, if we don’t take the initiative to change, life will force us to. Growth starts when we’re willing to look honestly at ourselves.
There’s a saying: We can never truly change someone else, unless we first change ourselves. But let’s be real—how many times have we tried to change, only to give up after a few days? Why is it so hard to change in a way that really lasts?
Today, I want to share a powerful book that can help us unlock lasting personal change. It’s called The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Since it was published in 1989, over 40 million copies have been sold around the world. What makes it so special? Covey doesn’t just teach techniques. He helps us reconnect with our values—who we are deep down—and shows us how to build new habits that lead to real transformation. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
Let’s dive into a few key ideas from the book, starting with Habit 1: “Be Proactive”—which is all about changing from the inside out.
1. Real change begins from the inside
Stephen Covey says that lasting change doesn’t start with tips or tricks—it starts with who we are. He calls this the “inside-out” approach. Instead of focusing on how to control others or how to manage your image, focus on your character, your values, and your mindset. That’s what creates real success.
We don’t see the world as it is—we see it as we are. Our mindset shapes our world. So the first step to changing your life? Change your thinking. That’s called a paradigm shift.
Covey shares the powerful story of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived Nazi concentration camps. Even in such inhuman conditions, Frankl noticed something amazing: some prisoners kept their dignity. They chose kindness. They shared their food. Why? Because they chose their response. Frankl said: Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose. No matter how bad things got, people still had the freedom to choose their attitude.
Modern science agrees with this. Our brains have a part—the prefrontal cortex—that lets us pause, reflect, and choose. That means: you’re not a prisoner of your emotions or habits. You can change.
2. Begin with the End in Mind
The second habit Covey talks about is this: Begin with the end in mind.
It sounds simple, but it’s deep.Before we act, we should first know: What kind of person do I want to become? What values matter most to me?This isn’t just about setting goals—it’s about having a personal life philosophy.
Covey says that everything is created twice: First, in our mind. Then, in reality.
Just like you need a blueprint before you build a house, you need a clear vision for your life before you start making decisions.
Imagine you walk into a funeral, and realize—it’s your own. One person from your family, one friend, one co-worker, and one person from your community are going to speak about your life. What do you want them to say? Probably not: “He made a lot of money.”
More likely: “She was a loving mother.” “He always gave me hope.” “She was generous and kind.” Thinking about the end helps us live with purpose. It helps us ask: Am I living today in a way that aligns with who I really want to be?
Thanks for tuning in. I hope today’s episode gave you something to think about. Remember, real change starts from the inside. You have the freedom to choose who you become. And every small step matters.
See you next time!