So you’ve fallen through a wormhole and landed in the world’s greatest empire—minus running water, antibiotics, or basic human-rights laws. Relax. This snark-powered handbook shows you how to stay alive long enough to brag about it back home.

Inside you’ll learn:

• Instant Street Smarts – Navigate gladiator mobs, tavern scams, and chariot traffic like a born-and-bred Roman.

• Blend-In Blueprint – Master toga etiquette, dining dos and don’ts (yes, the garum smells), and why you should never call a senator “dude.”

• Health & Hygiene Hacks – Outsmart plague, parasites, and public-bath hazards with low-tech first-aid and DIY medicine.

• Law & Disorder Cheat Sheet – From debt slavery to crucifixion, know the crimes, punishments, and bribes that keep your head attached.

• Survival Shopping List – The must-have gear: wax tablets, lucky charms, and a solid alibi.

• Time-Travel Takeaways – Hard-won lessons on resilience, community, and ingenuity you can still use in the 21st century.

Meticulously researched yet ruthlessly practical, How Not to Die in Ancient Rome is part travel guide, part survival manual, and part stand-up routine for history geeks, gamers, writers, and anyone who prefers their time-travel without the messy dying bit.

Grab your copy now—because “When in Rome, don’t die” wasn’t carved on any monument, but it should have been.