
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
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Narrado por:
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Tom Segura
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De:
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Tom Segura
Acerca de esta escucha
From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have listeners laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2022 Tom Segura (P)2022 Grand Central PublishingLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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General
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Alix Chamberlain is a woman who gets what she wants and has made a living, with her confidence-driven brand, showing other women how to do the same. So she is shocked when her babysitter, Emira Tucker, is confronted while watching the Chamberlains' toddler one night, walking the aisles of their local high-end supermarket. The store's security guard, seeing a young Black woman out late with a White child, accuses Emira of kidnapping two-year-old Briar. A small crowd gathers, a bystander films everything, and Emira is furious and humiliated. Alix resolves to make things right.
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This is embarrassing!
- De Anonymous User en 01-31-20
De: Kiley Reid
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The Feather Thief
- Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century
- De: Kirk Wallace Johnson
- Narrado por: MacLeod Andrews
- Duración: 8 h y 4 m
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On a cool June evening in 2009, after performing a concert at London's Royal Academy of Music, 20-year-old American flautist Edwin Rist boarded a train for a suburban outpost of the British Museum of Natural History. Home to one of the largest ornithological collections in the world, the Tring museum was full of rare bird specimens whose gorgeous feathers were worth staggering amounts of money to the men who shared Edwin's obsession: the Victorian art of salmon fly-tying. Once inside the museum, the champion fly-tier grabbed hundreds of bird skins - some collected 150 years earlier.
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Unusual and true natural history mystery!
- De Sylvia en 04-28-18
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Lincoln in the Bardo
- A Novel
- De: George Saunders
- Narrado por: Nick Offerman, David Sedaris, George Saunders, y otros
- Duración: 7 h y 25 m
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February 1862. The Civil War is less than one year old. The fighting has begun in earnest, and the nation has begun to realize it is in for a long, bloody struggle. Meanwhile, President Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son, Willie, lies upstairs in the White House, gravely ill. In a matter of days, despite predictions of a recovery, Willie dies and is laid to rest in a Georgetown cemetery. “My poor boy, he was too good for this earth,” the president says at the time. “God has called him home.”
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"Where might God stand?"
- De Mel en 02-17-17
De: George Saunders
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- De: Humble the Poet
- Narrado por: Humble the Poet
- Duración: 6 h y 27 m
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Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- De jaga en 11-04-19
De: Humble the Poet
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Capital Gaines
- The Smart Things I've Learned by Doing Stupid Stuff
- De: Chip Gaines
- Narrado por: Chip Gaines, Joanna Gaines, Melinda Paul, y otros
- Duración: 5 h y 7 m
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The funny and talented Chip Gaines is well known to millions of people as a TV star, renovation expert, bestselling author, husband to Joanna, and father of four in Waco, Texas. But long before the world took notice, Chip was a serial entrepreneur who was always ready for the next challenge. Whether it was buying a neighborhood laundromat or talking a bank into a loan for some equipment to start a lawn-mowing service, Chip always knew that the most important thing was to take that first step.
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Bootstrap Success from a Serial Doer
- De Mavwreck75 en 10-23-17
De: Chip Gaines
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Uganda Be Kidding Me
- De: Chelsea Handler
- Narrado por: Chelsea Handler
- Duración: 5 h y 14 m
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Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.
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Hilarious!
- De Michelle en 02-24-15
De: Chelsea Handler
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Diagnosis
- Solving the Most Baffling Medical Mysteries
- De: Lisa Sanders
- Narrado por: Lisa Sanders
- Duración: 8 h y 33 m
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As a Yale School of Medicine physician, the New York Times best-selling author of Every Patient Tells a Story, and an inspiration and adviser for the hit Fox TV drama, House, M.D., Lisa Sanders has seen it all. And yet, she is often confounded by the cases she describes in her column: unexpected collections of symptoms that she and other physicians struggle to diagnose. Dr. Sanders shows how making the right diagnosis requires expertise, painstaking procedure, and sometimes a little luck.
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Repetitive from her previous work
- De anon en 03-08-21
De: Lisa Sanders
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Infinite
- De: Jeremy Robinson
- Narrado por: R.C. Bray
- Duración: 10 h y 21 m
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The Galahad, a faster-than-light spacecraft, carries 50 scientists and engineers on a mission to prepare Kepler 452b, Earth's nearest habitable neighbor at 1400 light years away. With Earth no longer habitable and the Mars colony slowly failing, they are humanity's best hope. After 10 years in a failed cryogenic bed - body asleep, mind awake - William Chanokh's torture comes to an end as the fog clears, the hatch opens, and his friend and fellow hacker, Tom, greets him...by stabbing a screwdriver into his heart. This is the first time William dies.
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a rather complex science fiction story
- De Midwestbonsai en 12-26-17
De: Jeremy Robinson
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I'm Not Broken
- A Memoir
- De: Jesse Leon
- Narrado por: Jesse Leon
- Duración: 9 h y 9 m
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Born to indigenous working-class Mexican immigrants in San Diego in the 1970s, Jesse Leon’s childhood was violently ruptured. A dangerous and harrowing encounter at a local gift shop when he was eleven years old left Jesse with a deadly secret. Hurt, alone, and scared for his life, Jesse numbed his pain by losing himself in the hyper-masculine culture of the streets and wherever else he could find it—in alcohol, drugs, and prostitution.
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Very grateful that Jesse shared his journey
- De Adrien L en 03-02-23
De: Jesse Leon
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Above the Clouds
- How I Carved My Own Path to the Top of the World
- De: Kilian Jornet
- Narrado por: Steven Brand
- Duración: 6 h y 4 m
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The most accomplished mountain runner of all time contemplates his record-breaking climbs of Mount Everest in this profound memoir - an intellectual and spiritual journey that moves from the earth’s highest peak to the soul’s deepest reaches.
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A bit too much psychobabble
- De Amazon Customer en 10-09-20
De: Kilian Jornet
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Beyond the Mountain
- De: Steve House, Reinhold Messner - foreword
- Narrado por: Steve House
- Duración: 8 h y 56 m
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What does it take to be one of the world's best high-altitude mountain climbers? A lot of fundraising; traveling in some of the world's most dangerous countries; enduring cold bivouacs, searing lungs, and a cloudy mind when you can least afford one. It means learning the hard lessons the mountains teach. Steve House built his reputation on ascents throughout the Alps, Canada, Alaska, the Karakoram, and the Himalaya that have expanded possibilities of style, speed, and difficulty.
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A life-changing book
- De barbudo en 05-02-18
De: Steve House, y otros
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Doctor Dealer
- A Doctor High on Greed, a Biker Gang High on Opioids, and the Woman Who Paid the Ultimate Price
- De: George Anastasia, Ralph Cipriano
- Narrado por: Jim Frangione
- Duración: 7 h y 29 m
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Dr. James Kauffman and his wife, April, were the perfect couple: a respected endocrinologist and a beautiful radio host. But under the surface lurked a world of drugs, sex, and biker gangs. A world Dr. Kauffman would kill to keep secret.
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A WORLD OF SLEAZE AND MANIPULATION
- De AJC en 10-19-20
De: George Anastasia, y otros
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32 Yolks
- From My Mother's Table to Working the Line
- De: Eric Ripert, Veronica Chambers
- Narrado por: Peter Ganim
- Duración: 7 h y 26 m
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In an industry where celebrity chefs are known as much for their salty talk and quick tempers as their food, Eric Ripert stands out. The winner of four James Beard Awards, co-owner and chef of a world-renowned restaurant, and recipient of countless Michelin stars, Ripert embodies elegance and culinary perfection. But before the accolades, before he even knew how to make a proper hollandaise sauce, Eric Ripert was a lonely young boy in the south of France whose life was falling apart.
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Every aspiring cook needs to read this
- De PatrickV en 07-01-16
De: Eric Ripert, y otros
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The Actor's Life
- A Survival Guide
- De: Jenna Fischer
- Narrado por: Jenna Fischer, Rainn Wilson
- Duración: 7 h y 29 m
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Jenna Fischer's Hollywood journey began at the age of 22 when she moved to Los Angeles from her hometown of St. Louis. She was determined, confident, and ready to work hard. So, what could go wrong? Uh, basically everything. The path to being a professional actor was so much more vast and competitive than she’d imagined. It would be eight long years before she landed her iconic role on The Office, nearly a decade of frustration, rejection, and doubt. If only she’d had a handbook for the aspiring actor. Or, better yet, someone to show her the way. Jenna wants to be that person for you.
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OMG THE INTRO! lol
- De Katelyn en 12-22-17
De: Jenna Fischer
JEAN
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Tim did a good job
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Hilarious!
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Tom Segura
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A must have in your library!!
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Epic
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Wow
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loved it
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Hilarious!!! Listen to this book!!!
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Awesome
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