🏜️ Welcome to Desert Fathers in a Year!

In today’s episode, we explore the powerful story of Abba Serapion, who struggled with a seemingly small vice—secretly stealing rusks after meals. What unfolds is a deeply human and spiritual lesson in shame, secrecy, and the liberating power of confession.

When Serapion finally confesses his hidden sin to Abba Theonas, he is immediately freed from its grip, spiritually and even physically. His story shows how silence can become a prison, and how naming our sin—however small—can break the devil’s hold on us.

We also contrast this with Abba John Kolobos, who fled rather than utter a single angry word, highlighting that while some words must be withheld, others must be spoken—for the sake of the soul.

• Hiding thoughts from spiritual guides: Why it damages us and delights the enemy
• Confession as liberation: The act of speaking the truth frees us from spiritual bondage
• The illusion of small sins: Why seemingly minor habits (like stealing dry bread) can form deeply ingrained patterns
• Subtle bondage: How secrecy fosters isolation, shame, and spiritual despair
• Spiritual psychology of the Fathers: Insight into how habits harden and how grace intervenes
• Right speech and restraint: Knowing when to speak—and when silence is an act of virtue

• James 5:16 – “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
• John Cassian’s Conferences – Source of today’s account
• Proverbs 28:13 – “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

1. Are there small habits in my life that I excuse or hide?
2. Do I have someone I can speak honestly with—a spiritual director, a confessor, a trusted friend?
3. Am I holding on to silence that is wounding me?
4. When have I experienced the healing power of confession or accountability?

Challenge This Week: Take five quiet minutes today and ask the Lord: “Is there a word I need to speak?” Whether to Him, a priest, or a friend—step into the light, and say what needs to be said.

Subscribe & Share: If this story challenged or encouraged you, share it with someone who needs to be reminded that God’s mercy meets us in truth—and sets us free.

We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers in a Year is...

• 🦉...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog.

• 🎥 ...produced by EWTN

• 🧡...and brought to you by Exodus 90, download the Exodus 90 app today

Episode Overview

Welcome to the bonus roundtable discussion for Episode 20 of Desert Fathers in a Year, hosted by Jamie Baxter from Exodus 90. In this episode, titled "Words That Wound," Jamie is joined by Adam, Doyle, and Jared to explore a powerful saying from Abba Achillas in the Desert Fathers' systematic collection, focusing on the theme of self-mastery. The discussion delves into the spiritual, literary, and practical implications of overcoming the temptation to respond to hurtful words with bitterness, drawing parallels to Christ’s example of sacrificial love.

Key Themes and Reflections

• The Saying of Abba Achillas: An elder visits Abba Achillas and sees him spitting blood, which Achillas explains is the result of a brother’s wounding words. Rather than speaking the hurtful word, he prayed for God’s grace, transforming the word into blood, which he spat out, finding peace and forgetting his grief. This vivid imagery highlights the spiritual discipline of resisting sinful speech and absorbing pain for the sake of love.
• Self-Mastery and Christian Heroism: The hosts contrast the classical heroism of Achilles in The Iliad—driven by rage and resentment—with the Christian heroism of Abba Achillas, who absorbs betrayal and pain in imitation of Christ. Jared reflects on Hebrews 12:4, noting that resisting sin to the point of shedding blood can mean taking on personal suffering rather than inflicting it on others.
• Breaking the Cycle of Violence: Drawing on René Girard’s scapegoat theory, Doyle discusses how mimetic rivalry fuels cycles of violence, which only an innocent party—like Christ—can break. Abba Achillas’ choice to “let the evil stay with me” mirrors this, stopping the cycle of verbal violence through self-control and charity.
• Words as Weapons: The hosts explore how sarcasm, gossip, and backbiting can wound deeply, especially when coming from those closest to us. Adam shares a workplace story of being publicly blamed via email, illustrating the temptation to retaliate and the wisdom of pausing before responding.
• Philosophical Insights: Doyle engages Friedrich Nietzsche’s critique of Christian morality as disguised resentment, arguing that Abba Achillas’ actions refute this by demonstrating genuine virtue rooted in love, not bitterness. Bishop Varden’s reflection underscores that acting on passions projects a “sick vision of the world,” while overcoming them reflects spiritual health.
• Practical Struggles: Jamie shares a personal story about reacting angrily on the golf course and later in family life, highlighting how petty annoyances can trigger uncharitable speech. He also recounts receiving constructive criticism from his wife about his podcast delivery, initially reacting defensively but ultimately embracing humility to improve.

Scriptural and Literary Connections

• Romans 12:17-21: “Repay no one evil for evil… If your enemy is hungry, feed him… Overcome evil with good.” This passage frames the discussion of transforming wounds into acts of love, likened to heaping “burning coals” that purify rather than shame.
• Hebrews 12:4: “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” This verse connects Achillas’ blood imagery to the Christian call to suffer for righteousness.
• The Iliad: The hosts contrast the rage of Achilles with Abba Achillas’ self-mastery, redefining heroism as sacrificial love.
• Lord of the Rings: Jamie likens Achillas’ stand against evil to Gandalf’s confrontation with the Balrog at the Bridge of Khazad-dûm, symbolizing the choice...

🏜️ Welcome to Desert Fathers in a Year!

In this episode of Desert Fathers in a Year with Bishop Erik Varden, we explore the story of Abba Achillas, who transforms a wounding word into a path of peace. Spitting blood after a brother’s hurtful remark, Achillas reveals the spiritual battle against anger and resentment. Through prayer and restraint, he refuses to spread harm, choosing instead to expel his grief and find Christ’s peace. Join us to uncover how the Desert Fathers teach us to overcome soul-sickness, halt cycles of verbal violence, and embrace non-violence in our hearts.

Key Topics Covered:

• Abba Achillas’s response to a hurtful word and its spiritual significance
• The danger of anger and resentment in extinguishing grace
• Christ’s teaching on what defiles the heart and the call to non-violence
• The Desert Fathers’ wisdom on mortifying grudges to restore peace
• Lessons from Abba Agathon’s silence and the power of restraining speech

Why Listen?

This episode offers profound insights into managing hurt and anger through faith, perfect for those seeking spiritual growth, Christian wisdom, or guidance from the Desert Fathers. Discover how to break cycles of harm and find peace in Christ.

Keywords: Desert Fathers, Abba Achillas, Bishop Erik Varden, Christian spirituality, overcoming anger, non-violence, spiritual growth, Desert wisdom, peace in Christ, restraining speech

Available On: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts

Please visit DesertFathers.com to subscribe to our email newsletter and to download a free PDF of Athanasius's Life of Antony.

We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers in a Year is...

• 🦉...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog.

• 🎥 ...produced by EWTN

• 🧡...and brought to you by Exodus 90, download the Exodus 90 app today

Jamie, Doyle, and Jared from the Exodus 90 team meet to discuss Bishop Varden's reflection on Episode 19: Donkey on the Loose.

Want to follow along? The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Christian Monks (Penguin Classics)

Each week, we'll meet to discuss Bishop Varden's reflection and what practical takeaways we can glean from it and apply to our lives. New Roundtable Discussions will be published every Thursday.

We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers in a Year is...

• ...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog, CoramFratribus.com.

• ...produced by EWTN Global Catholic Network

• ...and brought to you by Exodus 90. Download the Exodus 90 app today and get ready to start the Exodus 90 Challenge beginning on January 20, 2025.

You can listen to Desert Fathers in a Year on the Hallow app, YouTube, X (fka Twitter), Spotify, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

🏜️ Welcome to Desert Fathers in a Year!

In this episode of Desert Fathers in a Year, we dive into a timeless Desert Fathers story where brothers journey to meet Abba Antony, joined by a silent elder who offers profound wisdom. His metaphor of a "donkey on the loose" critiques their unrestrained speech, revealing the power of self-mastery over words. We explore how this ancient lesson applies today, in a world of endless chatter and social media noise. Discover why restraint in speech, not just food, is key to spiritual growth and inner strength.

Key Topics Covered:

• The Desert Fathers’ journey to Abba Antony and the silent elder’s wisdom
• The "donkey on the loose": Why unrestrained speech drains inner vitality
• Antony’s legacy as a spiritual father through fidelity to his calling
• Self-mastery beyond fasting: Controlling the "movements of the soul"
• Applying ancient wisdom to modern habits of oversharing

Why Listen?

Perfect for listeners seeking spiritual wisdom, self-discipline, or insights into early Christian teachings. This episode unpacks how mindful speech fosters deeper connections and personal growth, inspired by the Desert Fathers.

Available On: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts

Please visit DesertFathers.com to subscribe to our email newsletter and to download a free PDF of Athanasius's Life of Antony.

We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers in a Year is...

• 🦉...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog.

• 🎥 ...produced by EWTN

• 🧡...and brought to you by Exodus 90, download the Exodus 90 app today

🏜️ Welcome to Desert Fathers in a Year, Episode 18: Q&A - Ask Bishop Varden

In this special episode of Desert Fathers in a Year, we mark the one-third milestone of our series with a listener Q&A featuring Bishop Erik Varden. Bishop Varden answers questions submitted by listeners, covering topics from the organization of the systematic collection to practical spiritual advice inspired by the Desert Fathers. The episode also touches on the recent passing of Pope Francis and how the Fathers might guide us during this time of papal transition.

• Organization of the Systematic Collection: A listener asks if the chapters (e.g., perfection, peace, compunction) are stages to follow. Bishop Varden compares the collection to an encyclopedia or medical manual, designed for practical reference rather than sequential mastery. He advises using it to address specific spiritual needs as prompted by the Holy Spirit.
• Translation and Desert Mothers: Bishop Varden confirms he translates the sayings himself from the Greek text in the Sources Chrétiennes edition. He also teases upcoming episodes featuring Desert Mothers, responding to listener interest, particularly from women.

• Eschatology and the Second Coming: Listener Alexander asks about the Desert Fathers’ perspective on awaiting Christ’s return. Bishop Varden notes the strong eschatological thrust in the sayings, balancing hope for Christ’s return with personal preparation for judgment. He shares a story of Arsenius waiting for the sunrise as a symbol of awaiting Christ.
• Perfection and Slowing Down: Addressing a question on Anthony’s advice to “not move in a hurry,” Bishop Varden suggests practical steps like disconnecting from technology, practicing slow tasks mindfully, and embracing moments of stillness to counter modern freneticism.
• Peace and Discernment: A listener struggles with Moses’ advice to “stay in your cell” while feeling called to action. Bishop Varden emphasizes discernment, suggesting the cell represents a commitment to a task, not just a physical space. Another listener, Richard, asks about maintaining peace amid worldly storms. Bishop Varden reframes peace as dynamic, rooted in Christ’s presence, not a static possession.
• Compunction and Holy Grief: Bishop Varden explains the fear of God as reverence and trust, not dread, using the image of God’s “everlasting arms” (Deuteronomy). He advises cultivating truth spoken in love by practicing silence when motivated by bitterness, citing Dorotheus of Gaza. He distinguishes holy grief, which opens one to repentance, from unhealthy guilt, which fosters self-pity.

• Euthanasia and Peace: A Canadian listener laments Catholic support for euthanasia. Bishop Varden encourages clinging to Christ as peace, even in a culture of death, and walking step-by-step with Him, as the disciples did.
• Persistent Sin: A listener who lived in sin for years before conversion asks if lingering temptations are permanent. Bishop Varden shares the story of St. Mary of Egypt, affirming that healing is possible but takes time, encouraging persistent struggle and trust in God’s healing.
• Preferential Love in Community: A religious sister asks about managing particular friendships without harming the community. Bishop Varden warns against self-sufficient friendships that compromise celibate solitude, advising focus on consecrated purpose over seeking emotional consolations.

Jamie, Doyle, Adam, and Jared from the Exodus 90 team meet to discuss Bishop Varden's reflection on Episode 17: The Fear of God.

Want to follow along? The Desert Fathers: Sayings of the Early Christian Monks (Penguin Classics)

Each week, we'll meet to discuss Bishop Varden's reflection and what practical takeaways we can glean from it and apply to our lives. New Roundtable Discussions will be published every Thursday.

We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers in a Year is...

• ...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog, CoramFratribus.com.

• ...produced by EWTN Global Catholic Network

• ...and brought to you by Exodus 90. Download the Exodus 90 app today and get ready to start the Exodus 90 Challenge beginning on January 20, 2025.

You can listen to Desert Fathers in a Year on the Hallow app, YouTube, X (fka Twitter), Spotify, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

Submit your question to Bishop Varden for our upcoming Q&A episode. You can submit your question here.

🏜️ Welcome to Desert Fathers in a Year, Episode 17: The Fear of God.

In this episode of Desert Fathers in a Year, we explore the profound teaching of Abba Peter on the "fear of God." Far from nervous anxiety, this fear is a reverent awe of God’s divine majesty, as Abba Isaiah’s wisdom explains that true fear of God arises from trusting Him alone. Drawing from Isaiah’s vision of God’s glory and the refining fire of faith, we unpack how trusting God in hardship—illness, loss, or betrayal—leads to redemptive purity. Discover how the Desert Fathers guide us to balance childlike trust with worshipful reverence.

Key Topics Covered:

• Abba Peter’s definition of the fear of God as trust in God alone
• Isaiah’s vision of divine glory and its transformative impact
• The refining fire of faith: Trusting God amidst life’s trials
• Balancing reverence and trust in the Christian spiritual journey
• Lessons from the Desert Fathers on awe and worship

Why Listen? This episode offers deep insights into the fear of God as reverent trust, perfect for those seeking spiritual growth, Christian wisdom, or understanding early Church teachings. Join us to explore how faith transforms fear into awe.

Keywords: Fear of God, Abba Peter, Desert Fathers, Christian spirituality, trust in God, reverence, Isaiah’s vision, faith in hardship, early Christianity, worship

Available On: Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts

Please visit DesertFathers.com to subscribe to our email newsletter and to download a free PDF of Athanasius's Life of Antony.

We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers in a Year is...

• 🦉...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog.

• 🎥 ...produced by EWTN

• 🧡...and brought to you by Exodus 90, download the Exodus 90 app today