
Dr Scott Barry Kaufman (SBK): “Your Trauma Doesn’t Define You” | "Choose Empowerment"
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Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman (SBK) joins The Nick Standlea Show to talk about his new book Rise Above: Overcome a Victim Mindset, Empower Yourself, and Realize Your Full Potential. From his early years in special education to earning a PhD and becoming one of psychology’s most engaging voices, SBK shares powerful stories, science-backed insights, and mindset-shifting strategies for anyone looking to take back control of their life. We dive into why the victim mindset is so seductive, how social media rewards helplessness, and why sensitivity can be a superpower when embraced the right way. This is a must-watch for anyone who wants to live with more agency, authenticity, and purpose.
🎯 Big Takeaway from the Episode with Scott Barry Kaufman You are not powerless—no matter what you've been through. Victimhood may be real, but staying in a victim mindset is a choice. Empowerment begins when you stop waiting to be saved and start saying, “Yes, this happened… and now what?”
Throughout the episode, SBK drives home that:
Trauma doesn't have to define you.
Sensitivity isn't weakness—it’s a superpower, if you own it.
The algorithm—and culture—might reward helplessness, but real growth happens when you reclaim your agency.
Whether you’ve faced real adversity or just feel stuck, Rise Above offers the mindset shifts, language, and tools to stop blaming the world—and start building a better one, starting from within.
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Timestamps: 0:00 – Scott Barry Kaufman (SBK) 1:32 – Joan Rivers quote & the power of inner change 3:01 – Defining the victim mindset 4:50 – How social media rewards victim identity 6:30 – The algorithm vs. real growth 9:00 – Tribalism, status, and survival wiring 11:00 – College essays, agency, and who gets rewarded 13:20 – What California universities are missing 16:00 – SBK’s story: From special ed to Ivy League professor 20:00 – Choir, cello, hacking: Unearthing hidden talent 22:30 – “Yes, and” mindset explained 24:00 – SBK on neuroticism and how he changed 26:50 – Empowerment vs. fragility 29:00 – Sensitivity as strength 30:45 – The male stigma around being sensitive 32:00 – Maddie, rejection, and the incel epidemic 36:30 – Redefining trauma and responsibility 41:05 – Vulnerable narcissism: What it is and why it matters 44:41 – Entitlement vs. contribution 45:56 – Final thoughts & where to find SBK
Ask questions. Don't accept the status quo. And be curious.