Where does fierce determination come from? I always thought those people who never stop and drive themselves to triumph each day have unbelievable will power. But how is that possible? Will power is depleting, so they must depend on something inexhaustible. The two sources that came to mind are faith and desperation.

I heard someone say this morning that desperation is a gift, and in my recovery journey it has been exactly that. That feeling of confusion, fear, and hopelessness can fuel determination just in knowing the alternative tied to giving up. Desperation is a sense of full depletion, and yet it can fuel us remake ourselves. And honestly, desperation can trigger and fuel faith as well. My determination comes from consistently seeking faith, because faith doesn’t deplete when I seek it.

When I’m bored, I feel some emotions that mimic desperation. Boredom, I’ve determined, is not a sign that I need to find something to do. It’s a signal that something is depleted within me. The restlessness, frustration, and emotional exhaustion is an invitation to self-reflect and lean in to faith.

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