ADHD doesn’t just affect one person—it affects the entire relationship. In this episode, Gina Pera shares five radical yet essential perspectives that can dramatically improve how couples navigate ADHD-related challenges. These aren’t your typical therapy clichés or pop-psychology platitudes. They’re hard-won insights from decades of experience, research, and helping couples around the world.

You’ll learn:

• Why teamwork—not independence—is essential for ADHD relationship success
• How to stop blaming and start troubleshooting
• What “chicken-or-egg” dynamics could be sabotaging progress
• How physical ADHD-related issues (like sleep or coordination) may be silently eroding your connection
• Why self-education and self-advocacy can unlock lasting change—faster than you think

Whether you’re the partner with ADHD or the one without, these five tips can help you move from chaos to clarity—and start working together instead of falling apart.

📚 Related resources:

• Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? by Gina Pera: https://amzn.to/41Pc51k
• ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions (with Arthur Robin, PhD): https://amzn.to/422uKFx

Thanks for listening—and don’t forget to subscribe, review, and share this episode.

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

In this episode, Gina Pera explores how ADHD-related brain chemistry can contribute to these post-orgasm challenges—and what you can do about it.

From early historical observations to modern neuroscience, from SSRI and stimulant options to alternatives like Karezza, this is a candid, compassionate look at a deeply personal issue.

🧠 Gina was among the first in the field to speak publicly about potential ADHD-related intimacy challenges.

She first tackled this topic in her groundbreaking book Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?—and later expanded it in her short book Adult ADHD and Sex: What You Need to Know (That Sex Therapists Cannot Tell You).

She also contributed a chapter on the subject in the clinical guide written with Dr. Arthur Robin in ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions.

📖 Related links mentioned in the episode:

• Blog post: ADHD and Sex: Post-Orgasm Irritability, Sadness, Jerkiness
  https://adhdrollercoaster.org/adhd-and-relationships/adhd-post-orgasm-irritability-jerkiness/
• Book: Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD? https://amzn.to/422Hg84
• Book: Adult ADHD and Sex: What You Need to Know https://amzn.to/3QR3chj
• Clinical Guide: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy
  https://amzn.to/3Y0B2UT

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

Could your ADHD treatment plan be making your sleep—and your symptoms—worse?

In this episode, Gina Pera explores a critical but often-missed topic: the overlooked risks of antidepressants and sleep apnea in ADHD treatment.

Drawing from her in-depth blog post, Gina unpacks the science, the real-world consequences, and why many prescribers—and even patients—miss the bigger picture. You’ll learn:

• How sleep apnea often flies under the radar in ADHD adults
• Why antidepressants can worsen sleep apnea and cognitive symptoms
• Why “treatment-resistant depression” might really be “misdiagnosed ADHD with unrecognized sleep apnea”
• The importance of understanding how physical health influences ADHD symptoms—and medication response

This episode is for anyone navigating the ADHD treatment maze—or supporting someone who is—and wants to avoid costly missteps.

📝 Read the full blog post, including links to research:
Antidepressants, ADHD & Sleep Apnea: The Overlooked Risks

🎓 Go Deeper: Online Training – Physical Strategies for ADHD
Take the guesswork out of managing sleep, medication, exercise, and nutrition. Step by step, Gina breaks down complex research into practical strategies to help you finally start feeling better. Once and for all!
Explore the course here »

💸 Special Offer:
As a podcast listener, take 15% off the Physical Strategies for ADHD course with code POD15 at checkout.

Recommended for:
Adults with ADHD, partners and loved ones, clinicians, and anyone struggling with confusing or incomplete treatment results.

Subscribe for More:
If you find this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe and leave a review. It helps others find this life-changing information!

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

This episode is the audio version of my blog post on a sensitive but essential topic for ADHD-challenged relationships:

Why the common advice to “just express your feelings” often backfires—especially when ADHD is in the mix.

📝 Read the full post here:
Why Telling Your ADHD Partner “You’re Hurting Me” Isn’t Helping
https://adhdrollercoaster.org/tools-and-strategies/why-telling-your-adhd-partner-youre-hurting-me-isnt-helping/

We’re told that honesty and vulnerability improve relationships. But when your ADHD partner is struggling with poor self-regulation and self-awareness, your heartfelt message may not land the way you hope. It might even make things worse—for both of you.

In this episode, I unpack:

• Why “you hurt me” may feel accusatory—even if it’s meant to be vulnerable
• How shame, ADHD-related defensiveness, and poor memory processing can sabotage communication
• The problem with therapy that leans too heavily on expressing hurt, without understanding ADHD dynamics
• More productive, empathy-building approaches that support real change

These aren’t just opinions—they’re insights drawn from years of working with couples affected by ADHD, plus deep dives into clinical evidence.

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

With Gina Pera | ADHD Roller Coaster

Just thinking about getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can feel overwhelming. Where do you start? Who can you trust? In this episode, I walk you step by step through what a thorough, evidence-based Adult ADHD evaluation should look like—and why it matters.

📝 Read the full post here:
The Adult ADHD Diagnosis: How Is It Made?
https://adhdrollercoaster.org/the-basics-about-adult-adhd/the-adult-adhd-diagnosis-how-is-it-made/

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why a diagnosis is more than just a path to medication
• What the DSM-5 criteria actually say—and what they miss
• What a skilled clinician should ask and observe during an evaluation
• Why ADHD is often missed in women—and how to better assess it
• How misdiagnosis with depression or anxiety leads to poor outcomes
• What to ask when choosing a professional to evaluate or treat ADHD
• How to avoid common pitfalls—and self-advocate with confidence

This episode is essential listening for adults considering an ADHD evaluation—or for anyone supporting a partner, friend, or loved one on that path.

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

This first-person story paints a vivid picture of what it’s like to move through the world with undiagnosed ADHD:

• Constantly trying harder—but falling short
• Wondering why life seems harder than it should be
• Living with a quiet but relentless sense of failure
• Receiving constant feedback that "You're not good enough"

Whether you're living with ADHD or love someone who is, this first-person account offers a rare window into the lived experience.

📝 Read the full post here:
When Adult ADHD Feels Like Not Being Good Enough
https://adhdrollercoaster.org/essays/when-adult-adhd-feels-like-not-being-good-enough/

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

This episode is the audio version of a popular blog post—all about overlap—and confusion—between Cyclothymia (a mood disorder) and ADHD.

📝 Read the full post here:
Cyclothymia and ADHD: A Risk Factor—or Misdiagnosis?
https://adhdrollercoaster.org/the-basics-about-adult-adhd/cyclothymia-and-adhd-a-risk-factor-or-misdiagnosis/

In this episode, I explore the risks of misdiagnosis and the fallout from confusing mood instability with core ADHD traits. Many individuals with ADHD are misdiagnosed with mood disorders—and prescribed medications that may worsen their symptoms.

You’ll learn:

• What Cyclothymia is—and how it differs from Bipolar Disorder
• Why ADHD-related emotional dysregulation is not the same as mood cycling
• How misdiagnosis can delay proper ADHD treatment
• Why getting the diagnosis right is essential before starting medication
• What research and clinical observation tell us—and what the DSM doesn’t

This information is especially important for adults newly exploring a diagnosis and clinicians who want to avoid common pitfalls.

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/

This is the audio version of one of the most popular posts at the ADHD Roller Coaster blog:

"Breaking Out of ADHD Relationship Dysfunction—After Not Breaking a Fall"

Read the full post here: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/breaking-out-of-adhd-relationship-dysfunction/

In this episode, I share a personal story that reveals hard-earned insights about ADHD, relationships, and what it takes to break out of long-standing patterns. My hope is that it helps smooth your ride—more fun, less whiplash.

Here’s what we cover:

• How ADHD relationship patterns become entrenched—often before diagnosis
• Why distorted assumptions and poor coping responses develop on both sides
• How to distinguish ADHD symptoms from these ingrained behaviors
• Why even good medication or therapy may not produce results—unless you understand this

These are issues I’ve tackled in my writing and presentations around the world—from San Francisco to Turkey.

Related episode:
ADHD, Empathy, and Dopamine – Podcast: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/adhd-and-relationships/empathy-dopamine-and-adhd-a-study-book-excerpt-and-definition/

Send Gina a text!

READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?

💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!

My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:

Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.

Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/

Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.

Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera

🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/