It all stems from childhood. You can have it all but still feel unfulfilled. One day, it's all going to come crashing down. Learn the tried and true signs of perfectionism and people pleasing, how they bleed together & how to overcome them.We are excited to introduce Allie Brooke, a veteran educator, podcast host, and certified Emotional Intelligence Coach. She empowers women to overcome the challenges of anxiety & build a resilient mindset.What's the difference between Perfectionism & People Pleasing?Perfectionism is the desire to be perfect at everything while People Pleasing is the desire to be perfect within your relationships.Signs of Perfectionism: you take yourself too seriously, you are your own worst critic, you must be 5 steps ahead, this is your way to control things you can't otherwise control and over prepared, you are your own worst enemy. You perceive your perfectionism as value. Your mask never comes off, you have to put on an act for people. You have a strong fear of failure or making mistakes. A big one is perfectionists become defensive. You hate asking for help but it makes you feel weak.Signs of People Pleasing: available to others at any time, you are a yes person, you want to be perfect within your relationships. You are worried about what other's think of you and external validation is how you determine your worth. You have to learn how to say no!These two independently of each other or when they blend together are extremely limiting to you reaching your full authentic self.Why are people proud to call themselves a perfectionist? the thought of being perfect is the high regard. From childhood, we are praised for being the perfect student, friend, son, daughter and as we move into adulthood, the perfect employee. We see how others are ridiculed for failing a test or not playing sports well so we try to remain perfect in order to avoid the gossip.Through what we are taught, we forget to get to know ourselves.Bottom line, it's so important to know who you are, what your values are, what do you stand for and have fun while getting to know yourself. EXERCISE: How do you get to know yourself?Go on a first date with yourself.In a journal, ask yourself what you want. Start with surface level questions. Make it easy and simple.With time and continuation, the questions will naturally get deeper.You are learning how to talk to yourself while getting to know yourself.When you find yourself IN THE MOMENT of shaming yourself and freaking out for making a mistake, stop, take a moment and think about how dire the mistake is. Give yourself grace and regulate. Learn how to talk yourself down and out of the situation. You can be your own best friend, coach and confidant.When it comes to people pleasing, people care about themselves more than they care about you. Your ability to say No impacts them in a way that they are left hanging, but that's not your problem. Because when someone truly cares about you, they are happy to support and wait for you until its convenient for both of you.Remember setting boundaries as a people pleaser is where the structure of putting yourself first steps in. You are honoring yourself and you can still support others by calling, sending a card, etc. Being a flake by committing up front then canceling last minute is not a great friendship and will ruin your reputation. You are teaching people how to treat you so make sure it's clear. The clarity comes from understanding what you want.COUPON CODE to WORK WITH Allie Brooke | The Growth Mindset GalThe Growth METHOD. Membership Community 50% your first month's subscriptionMindset Coaching Programs: 50% off program (1,3,6 months)Code: growthmindsetgal @thegrowthmindsetgal Let's Connect:📸 Follow us on Instagram: @thehotgirlschool 🔥 Follow us on TikTok: @thehotgirlschool 🟥 Follow us on YouTube: @thehotgirlschool TALK TO US! email us with topics💌 thehotgirlschool@gmail.comThank You for Watching!