This is your brain on Long COVID. This week, we attempt the impossible: to describe brain fog while experiencing brain fog. We also share what's worked for us to fight it and Amy gets on her sociological soapbox for a moment and gives a mini lesson on the concept of ANOMIE.

IT'S A LOT LIKE LIFE

Fog creeps in, seeps in slowly. It’s a tricky fucker. Slipping into the tiniest of crevices, spaces I didn’t know were there. My mind slows to a crawl. Words slip away, just out of reach.

Mental tasks that were once so easy are impossible now. Thoughts trapped in a dense, damp mess that I can’t see through or push away. I can resist but eventually I have no choice but to live with it. Live in it.

It's unclear exactly when the fog took over – I'm the frog on slow boil – but eventually I can’t deny that it has. The clarity I once had is gone. This is life with Long COVID. No more Life 1.0 … Life 2.0 has begun. Life-adjacent. Life-like. Life-ish. Life sorta kinda.

I’m reminded of a song I had on repeat during my teen years; Depeche Mode’s “Master and Servant.” The lyric goes “You treat me like a dog, get me down on my knees.” I’m the dog, down on my knees.

I’m the servant and the fog is my master. On rare days I’m allowed out. But always, the servant heeds its master. Afterall, “Domination's the name of the game.” Playtime always ends, and when it does, it’s back to the fog and the certainty that this is my life now.

Posted at https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/its-a-lot-like-life