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In this episode, I take you into one of the darkest and most final moments of heartbreak—the silence that isn’t just absence, but rejection. Blocked. Ghosted. Gone. It wasn’t just a missed call or a message left on read. It was the moment the door slammed shut, the moment the bridge burned and there was no way back across. Discord, our digital home—where we lived, laughed, loved, cried, slept—was suddenly erased. iMessages turned green. Socials disappeared. He vanished, and I was left trying to breathe through the suffocating quiet.

But this wasn’t just about being cut off. This was the moment I had to face what I had done. I had manipulated with my grief. Used desperation as a weapon. Told him I didn’t want to live, hoping it would make him stay. But all it did was make it impossible for him to. And I can’t blame him.

Still, knowing doesn’t stop the ache. In this episode, I talk about what it feels like to be completely erased by someone who once promised forever. What it means to be ghosted by the one person who knew you best. What it means when silence becomes your answer. And how I keep surviving the echoes of that silence—day after day after day.

This is the episode where goodbye finally meant gone

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In this episode, I unravel the ache of unanswered questions—the kind that echo in the silence long after someone you love walks away. I sit with the raw, relentless thoughts that kept me up at night: Was any of it real? Did he ever truly love me the way I loved him? Was this always doomed, or did I somehow shatter the one thing that felt like home?

This isn't just a story about heartbreak—it's about the disorienting aftermath of loving deeply and losing completely. It's about questioning every memory, rereading every message, replaying every kiss and conversation, trying to decipher if there was ever a version of us that could have made it. And if there was... why didn't we?

Join me as I sift through the pieces of a love that once felt like forever, and confront the hardest truth of all: that sometimes, even soulmates don't stay.

[soft ambient piano swells beneath the words, fading into gentle static]

If you've ever felt the sting of wondering what could’ve been—this one’s for you.

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In this episode, I open the door to the raw, messy, and often invisible reality of grief. From sleepless nights to panic attacks, from silent days to emotional meltdowns—I walk you through the first weeks after losing him. This is what it looked like when my world shattered: the rituals, the triggers, the breakdowns, and the unbearable stillness. If you’ve ever wondered what grief really feels like behind closed doors, this is it.