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Have you ever heard the devastating words, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you"? This phrase can feel like an emotional earthquake, like something broke inside your chest, shattering the life you knew and leaving you stunned and confused. If you've heard it, you are not alone, you are not crazy, and this is NOT the end of your marriage.

When your spouse says "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," they are not saying they hate you or have stopped caring. Instead, they are often expressing that the feeling of being in love—the intense emotional pull, the thrill, the spark, the butterflies, and infatuation—has faded or gone. Most people define love by these intense emotions, but these feelings were never meant to last forever. The version of love your spouse might be mourning was simply not sustainable.

What could be fueling this feeling of disconnection? Your spouse might be comparing your steady, imperfect love to a fantasy in their head. This fantasy can be fueled by:
• Stress, burnout, or trauma: Life pressures from career, parenting, or finances can overwhelm their emotional capacity, leading them to go emotionally cold.
• Emotional disconnection: They might have felt emotionally neglected or misunderstood for a long time, causing them to feel numb and mistake this absence of connection for an absence of love.
• Feeling lost themselves: Your spouse may feel they've lost themselves within the relationship, leading to resentment and pulling away not from you, but from the person they've become.
• Emotional entanglement with someone else: They might be comparing the fantasy of a new relationship with the realness and challenges of marriage.

The truth is, the spark they miss CAN be reignited. Not only can it be reignited, but it can be transformed into something stronger, deeper, and more lasting than they've ever imagined.

You may be in deep pain right now, feeling betrayed, unwanted, or replaced. You might even feel ashamed for wanting this marriage to work when others tell you to let go. But your desire to fight for your marriage is not weak or foolish; it is the most courageous thing you can do. And you don't have to do it alone.
At Marriage Helper, we've spent over 31 years helping marriages in the worst possible shape—even when a spouse had moved out, filed for divorce, or fallen in love with someone else. Countless couples have found their way back, found healing, and fell in love again—not the shallow kind, but the lasting kind.

This moment is your turning point. Please go right now to marriagehelper.com/call to schedule a FREE conversation with us about how we can help. It will take courage, commitment, and an investment of time, money, and energy. But what is your marriage worth to you? Imagine waking up one day, looking at your spouse, and saying, "We made it, and we're stronger than ever". That can happen because your story isn't over—it's just the beginning

If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free

📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://marriagehelper.com/call

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Are you living with your spouse but feel like you're just living with a roommate? Do conversations revolve only around finances, kids, and chores, rather than the fun and passion you once shared? Many couples experience what's called a "companionate relationship," where intimacy and commitment are present, but the crucial elements of passion and eroticism have faded, often leaving one spouse yearning for more oneness and excitement. This often happens when deep security and intimacy lead to a level of predictability that can, over time, "de-eroticize" the relationship.

But there's a powerful secret to reigniting that spark: Planned Surprise.

While intimacy thrives on trust and predictability, allowing you to not worry about what's coming next, eroticism and passion flourish on "something new, something different, something unexpected". Predictability, in fact, kills eroticism.

In this video, we reveal how to bridge this gap and stop feeling like roommates by intentionally adding passion back into your marriage. Drawing on insights from experts like world-renowned sexologist Dr. Barry McCarthy, we explain:

* Why Predictability Kills Passion: Intimacy provides security, a deep part of closeness where you don't expect surprises. However, eroticism dies when there are no surprises and everything becomes extremely predictable. You could become habituated and de-eroticized unless you're intentional about not doing that.
* The "Surprise Scenario" Exercise: Discover a practical method from the "Becoming One" workbook where each spouse plans out three unique "surprise scenarios". The key is that they review these scenarios together first to cross out anything that "ain't going to happen" or might cause "sexual inhibition".
* The Power of Anticipation (Dopamine): Learn how the actual surprise works: your spouse doesn't know *when, where, or how* one of these pre-approved scenarios will unfold, creating a delightful and sustained anticipation. As the source explains, dopamine has more to do with the anticipation than the event itself. This means there could be a "low-level dopamine" thrill throughout the month, which increases if a clue appears.
* How to Get Started and Keep the Momentum: We discuss how you can gently introduce this concept, even if your spouse is initially hesitant, perhaps by trying a non-offensive surprise without warning them first, much like one husband did by transforming his living room into a "South Pacific" scene to encourage "new anticipatory things". It's crucial for the planned event to actually happen; otherwise, the drop in dopamine and trust can be worse than if they weren't expecting it.

Don't settle for a passionless marriage. It's time to become intentional about rekindling the romance and returning to that "craving for oneness" that defines true passion. Watch now to learn the surprising way to transform your roommate situation back into a vibrant, passionate mar

If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free

📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://marriagehelper.com/call

🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper
👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelper

Follow our other channels!
📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!

You want to save your marriage, but your spouse doesn’t seem interested. What now?

In this powerful episode, Kimberly Beam Holmes and Dr. Joe Beam walk you step-by-step through how to approach your spouse about working on the marriage—even if they’ve checked out, are asking for a divorce, or are involved with someone else.

You’ll learn how to:

• Overcome the fear of asking your spouse for help
• Avoid common mistakes that push your spouse further away
• Use a proven, non-manipulative framework to invite your spouse to a Marriage Helper workshop
• Understand and validate your spouse’s objections—while staying calm, confident, and respectful
• Identify your spouse’s true motivations (even ones you don’t agree with) and speak to what matters most to them

Plus, discover how to navigate tricky objections like:

• “I don’t believe in counseling”
• “This won’t fix anything”
• “It’s too expensive”
• “I just want the divorce”

Whether your spouse is emotionally distant, hostile, or seemingly indifferent, this video gives you the tools and confidence to take the next right step without manipulation or pressure.

If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free

📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://marriagehelper.com/call

🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper
👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelper

Follow our other channels!
📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam