A round-up of the latest royal gossip, mostly about Harry and Meghan, Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Because despite their stated need for privacy, they seem compelled to do things to grab headlines and attention. Featuring pregnant twerking, bizarre acts of performative motherhood, jam (of course), and Harry's doomed lawsuit. Bonus appearance by the Pope, the royal family of Monaco, and the House of Thurn and Taxis.

With the launch of the Duchess of Sussex's new Netflix show just around the corner, it's time for a Sussex-update. There's jam (of course), that Vanity Fair article, PR blunders, and our bingo card for the "With Love, Meghan" drinking game.

Still no ARO jam in Anne's stocking and no Christmas pudding for Andrew, but at least the Kaspar Hauser conspiracy was finally debunked. We know you were all waiting breathlessly.

Because sometimes you just keep bringing up downer subjects and dealing with them in a borderline-inappropriate way. Including brief discussions of sarcophagi, Remembrance Day, Prince Andrew, accidental slumlords, and an imperial toilet.

#new_age_aunt

A quick catch up on British royal news, and then we delve into the mystical union and cash bar nuptials of Princess Maartha Louise and Durek. We ran out of time (and spoons) to cover the other things! Harry and Meghan, be sure to hashtag #maarthalouisewedding when you need favorable publicity.

A high summer update on the royal doings, including William's nonstop schedule, the Japanese royals' state visit, Harry's controversial award, some Wittelsbach scuttlebutt, Royal Lodge repairs, and the King of Thailand's latest thing.

Catching you all up on the latest scuttle: Trooping the Colour, adult coloring books, a Japanese state visit, bespoke free-range organic dog treats, and royal-adjacents Posh Spice and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy.