Why do so many people stay in relationships with covert narcissists for years—sometimes decades?

This episode is a raw, honest, and deeply validating exploration of the emotional tug-of-war that keeps survivors stuck in toxic dynamics. I open up about my own 20+ year marriage to a covert narcissist—why I stayed, why I didn’t see it sooner, and why that doesn’t mean there was something wrong with me.

Because covert narcissists are masters at being “just enough.”

Just enough good to make you stay. Just enough bad to make you question everything. Just enough charm to keep others fooled. Just enough cruelty to break you behind closed doors. Their entire strategy is built on almosts—on the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time it will be different.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I leave?” or “Why didn’t I see it sooner?”—this episode is for you.

You are not alone. You are not crazy. You are not weak. You were trauma bonded to someone who knew exactly how to keep you stuck.

When you're in a relationship with a covert narcissist, peace is often a performance—maintained at the expense of your own emotional well-being. This episode of The Covert Narcissism Podcast explores how covert narcissists condition those around them to bend, sacrifice, and stay silent just to avoid upsetting them.

From partners who tell their kids “just do what your dad wants” to adult children asked to adjust their lives to keep the narcissistic parent happy, this episode exposes the high cost of maintaining “peace” in a toxic dynamic.

We’ll dive into real-life examples of how covert narcissists weaponize their moods to manipulate and control, how families get pulled into the dance of appeasement, and how to begin breaking this generational cycle.

If you’ve ever felt responsible for someone else’s happiness—or guilty for standing your ground—this episode is for you.

You left. You blocked them. You did everything you were “supposed” to do to break free from the covert narcissist in your life.
But somehow… they’re still there.
In your thoughts.
In your inner dialogue.
In the way you second-guess yourself when no one’s even around.

In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists continue to live “rent free” in your head long after the relationship ends — and how emotional abuse rewires your brain, leaving behind patterns of self-doubt, hypervigilance, and internalized gaslighting.

You’ll learn:

• Why “leaving” doesn’t always mean freedom

• How trauma bonds keep you psychologically hooked

• What it looks like when their voice becomes your inner critic

• How to begin reclaiming your mental space and evict the intruder for good

• What to do if you're still in the relationship but want to begin your mental and emotional freedom now

Whether you’ve left or are still trying to plan your exit, this episode offers practical steps and deep validation for anyone struggling to find peace after covert narcissistic abuse.

And in honor of Independence Day, we talk about what real freedom looks like — the kind you fight for inside your own mind.

What happens when you finally speak the truth to a covert narcissist? Whether you’re pointing out a small forgotten chore or confronting them about a huge betrayal, the emotional fallout can feel overwhelming and confusing.

In this episode, we’re diving deep into the two most common narcissistic reactions to being called out: the emotional implosion of shame and the defensive explosion of blame.

Learn why narcissists either spiral into shame-filled self-pity or launch into rage and blame-shifting—and why both reactions are designed to avoid accountability.

We’ll explore:

• The difference between a narcissistic implosion vs. explosion

• Real-life examples of how each reaction looks and feels

• Why these reactions derail the original conversation

• How to protect your peace when you’re caught in this emotional storm

If you’ve ever found yourself comforting the person who hurt you… or defending yourself against an emotional attack after calling out their behavior… this episode is for you.

Narcissist reaction to being called out, narcissistic collapse, narcissistic rage, covert narcissism, emotional abuse, narcissistic defense mechanisms, how narcissists react to confrontation, narcissistic accountability avoidance

When the yelling stops, the lies fade, and the manipulative games come to a halt… does it mean they are getting better?

In this episode, we explore the confusing and disorienting experience of living with someone who has changed their behaviors, but hasn’t done the real emotional work underneath.

Drawing a parallel with the concept of a "dry drunk," we’ll unpack why behavior management without inner healing leaves survivors of covert narcissistic abuse still feeling unsafe, unseen, and emotionally alone.

We’ll dive into:

• What a “dry drunk” actually is

• The emotional wounds that fuel both addiction and narcissistic behaviors

• Why things sometimes feel worse after the behavior stops

• The difference between true healing and surface-level change

• How to trust your gut when something still feels off

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I should be happy… but I’m not”—this episode is for you.

Empathy — we all think we know what it means, until we’re in a relationship where it’s missing. Covert narcissists are often skilled at sounding emotionally intelligent. They can say the right words, mirror emotional language, and even cry on cue — but something still feels off. That’s because what they offer isn’t real empathy; it’s a performance.

In this episode, we explore the difference between true empathy and intellectual mimicry, revealing how covert narcissists can talk the talk while leaving you emotionally starved. You’ll hear real-life examples of how this plays out, how it erodes your sense of self, and why it’s not your fault that their words never seem to reach your heart.

If you’ve ever asked, “Why do I still feel so alone when I’m not alone?” — this episode is for you.

Are they a covert narcissist or an alcoholic? What if the alcohol goes away? Does this get better?

In this candid and thought-provoking conversation, I sit down with Todd Rennebohm, host of Bunny Hugs and Mental Health, to explore the complex intersection of addiction, trauma, emotional dysregulation, and misunderstood behaviors. Todd opens up about his lived experience with substance abuse, undiagnosed ADHD, and the journey from survival mode to genuine healing.

Together, we unpack the blurry line between narcissistic traits and trauma responses—especially when addiction or mental health challenges are at play. We talk about emotional regulation, humility, personal growth, and the powerful difference between true narcissism and wounded coping strategies.

Whether you're trying to understand a loved one, your partner, or even yourself… this episode offers clarity, compassion, and hope.

https://bleav.com/shows/bunny-hugs-mental-health/

https://m.youtube.com/@bunnyhugsandmentalhealth

https://www.instagram.com/bunnyhugspodcast

You planned everything perfectly — the dinner, the outfit, the guest list.
But somehow, your birthday still ended in silence. Or tears. Or walking on eggshells.

If you’ve ever felt like your special moments were stolen — you’re not alone.
In this episode, we explore why covert narcissists sabotage holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and even simple family gatherings. We’ll dive into the hidden motives behind their emotional sabotage, including control, envy, and resentment — and how their behavior leaves survivors dreading the very days that were meant to be joyful.

You’ll hear real-life examples, psychological insights, and healing strategies — including a powerful tradition we hold at my annual retreat to reclaim the holidays that were taken from us.

🎉 Plus: how to create your own personal holiday to celebrate your healing, your freedom, and the life you’re building — on your own terms.