In this powerful and moving episode of The Recovery Toolkit Podcast, Richie Paxton sits down with Malcolm, who shares his long and complex journey through recovery after alcohol misuse and gambling harm. With nearly 20 years of lived experience, Malcolm speaks honestly about relapse, avoidance, and the challenges of facing deep-rooted trauma. He reflects on how external success never fixed the internal pain, and how real change only came when he stopped running and started doing the work on himself.

From managing serious health issues and using a sleep apnoea machine for the first time, to finding strength through Parkrun and community support, Malcolm’s story is one of persistence, honesty and gradual transformation. He talks about the difference between showing up and truly engaging in recovery, and how his understanding of what recovery means has evolved over time. This episode is a reminder that starting over is not failure - it’s part of the process. Tune in for a raw and inspiring conversation about taking responsibility, letting go of shame, and finding connection in the recovery journey.

This week, we bring you a slightly different and very important episode. We're joined once again by Jo from EPIC Restart Foundation, who bravely opens up about an experience that’s rarely talked about: lapse and relapse in recovery.

Jo shares her personal journey of having a lapse, and the fear that came with it – fear of losing her job, her identity, and everything she had built. But rather than hiding away, Jo showed incredible courage by speaking out and reaching out to her colleagues. Her story is a powerful reminder that a lapse doesn’t mean failure, and it certainly doesn’t mean the end of the road. She talks about the warning signs; not getting dressed, avoiding exercise, neglecting self-care.

Things came to a head when Jo found herself on the verge of breaking one of her core values: honesty. That moment became a turning point. Jo made the brave choice to talk, and in doing so, took the first step towards getting back on track. Having relapsed earlier in her recovery, Jo reflects on how much she’s learned. This time, she knew how vital it was to communicate how she was feeling to those closest to her. In doing so she was able to take control and avoid a full relapse.

Jo also speaks honestly about the added pressure of working in the gambling harms sector. She worried how being honest would affect her work, her colleagues, and those she supports. But the response she received was nothing but supportive – a real lesson in the importance of planning ahead and having a strong support system. By focusing on the things that keep her well, like going for walks, singing, and making space for self-care, Jo feels like herself again. She also highlights how vital it is for organisations employing people in recovery to have clear, compassionate policies in place.

EPIC Restart’s person-centred approach made all the difference. Jo wanted to share her experience so that anyone feeling isolated or ashamed knows they are not alone. Her message is clear: prioritising recovery isn’t just about staying well – it’s what makes it possible to keep doing the work you love and supporting others along the way. We’re incredibly proud to have Jo back on the podcast. This is a conversation you won’t want to miss.