The Virtual Couch Podcast Por Tony Overbay LMFT arte de portada

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

De: Tony Overbay LMFT
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 The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.Copyright 2025 The Virtual Couch Desarrollo Personal Hygiene & Healthy Living Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC

    Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC
    Jun 3 2025
    Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners actionable strategies for emotional management. Tony opens the episode by explaining how common parental phrases, such as "it's not a big deal" or "just don't worry about it," can unintentionally hinder emotional expression in adulthood, setting the stage for struggles with managing emotions later in life. This discussion offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand better and manage their emotions. 00:00 A Touching Parenting Moment 02:22 Introduction to the Virtual Couch 02:31 Book Club: Managing Emotions 03:16 The Importance of Emotional Awareness 03:37 Understanding Emotional Language 04:44 The Disconnect from Emotions 06:01 Introducing Dr. Ethan Cross's 'Shift' 06:23 Meet Marla Christiansen 07:33 Exploring Emotional Concepts from 'Shift' 07:46 The Complexity of Emotions 08:05 Practical Tools for Emotional Management 08:20 The Power of Distanced Self-Talk 08:37 External Influences on Emotions 09:02 Body Awareness and Emotions 09:12 Navigating Difficult Emotions 09:24 Impact of Social Media and Cultural Factors 09:37 Appreciating Emotions as Information 10:18 Book Club Discussion: 'Shift' by Dr. Ethan Cross 10:30 Starting the Interview with Marla Christensen 11:24 Diving into Emotional Regulation 11:43 Book Club Insights and Personal Reflections 22:58 The Law of Least Work 25:01 Exploring Low-Cost Emotional Shifts 25:40 Understanding Attention and Perspective 26:10 Navigating Emotional Avoidance and Approach 27:27 The Power of Reframing 29:29 Distanced Self-Talk: A Unique Approach 31:07 Shifting Emotions Through Environment 33:44 The Role of Relationships in Emotional Shifts 37:24 Cultural Influences on Emotions 39:37 The Impact of Comparison 42:37 Practical Tools for Emotional Mastery 44:06 Final Thoughts and Resources
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    23 m
  • Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out

    Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out
    May 27 2025
    What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships? In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life. Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familiar emotional tools only digs you deeper into relationship problems. When someone offers you a ladder out of your patterns, why do you keep trying to dig with it instead? This episode reveals how to recognize when it's time to put down the shovel of old coping strategies and climb toward something completely different. Meet the clients who've made this transformation: the chronic fixer who learned to ask "what do you need from me?" instead of immediately solving, the humor-deflector who shocked a room into silence by sharing something real, and the lifelong people-pleaser whose hands shook as she said "no" for the first time—and discovered her marriage actually got stronger. You'll explore Terry Real's revolutionary insight that childhood adaptations become adult roadblocks, learn the art of re-parenting yourself with compassion instead of criticism, and discover why emotional maturity isn't about never falling into old patterns—it's about recognizing when you're there and having new tools to respond. Whether you struggle with hypervigilance, perfectionism, control issues, or people-pleasing tendencies, this episode offers a shame-free framework for honoring your inner child's brilliant survival strategies while empowering your adult self to take the lead. Because growth isn't about eliminating your protective parts—it's about expanding your repertoire of responses and choosing consciously instead of reacting automatically. Ready to stop digging and start climbing? Your ladder awaits. 00:00 Introduction and Recap 01:23 The Story of Tyler 03:53 Tyler's Realization and Therapy 09:39 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor 15:46 Revisiting Emotional Immaturity 19:30 Reparenting Yourself 25:05 Examples of Reparenting in Action 29:00 Exploring Emotional Immaturity Traits 40:54 Recognizing and Validating Emotions 42:47 Dependence on External Validation 48:54 Taking Ownership and Accountability 51:49 Mind Reading and Communication 01:03:55 Hypervigilance and Emotional Containment 01:07:12 Perfectionism and Control 01:11:49 Integration and Emotional Maturity 01:15:57 Real-Life Examples of Emotional Growth 01:22:05 The Journey of Emotional Maturity
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    1 h y 26 m
  • Trapped by Trauma Bonds: A Guide for Those Suffering and Those Watching from the Outside

    Trapped by Trauma Bonds: A Guide for Those Suffering and Those Watching from the Outside
    May 15 2025
    Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection? Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology's most misunderstood phenomena: trauma bonding. Tony explains how the same mechanisms that kept B.F. Skinner's rats frantically pressing a lever for unpredictable rewards are at work in toxic relationships. He explains the biological "amygdala hijack" that literally shuts down one's ability to think rationally when anxiety strikes and why well-meaning advice like "just don't worry about it" actually makes things worse through psychological reactance. This comprehensive episode covers: The neurological science behind trauma bonding and why it creates addiction-like withdrawal symptoms How childhood experiences shape our relationship with emotions and set us up for unhealthy patterns Why telling someone "don't think about it" guarantees they'll think about it more The critical difference between guilt ("I did something bad") and shame ("I am bad") Practical ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) techniques like expansion and mindfulness The powerful Buddhist salt and water metaphor for managing emotional pain Why no one—not even identical twins—experiences the world exactly as you do How to break the cycle of seeking external validation that keeps you trapped Whether you're personally experiencing a trauma bond, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand why people stay in painful relationships, this episode provides compassionate insight and practical tools for healing. Tony's conversational style makes complex psychological concepts accessible while offering hope that with time, understanding, and the right support, you can reclaim your emotional autonomy and build healthier connections. 00:00 Introduction: The Impact of 'Say Anything' 01:21 Setting the Stage: Understanding Relationship Dynamics 01:50 Who This Episode is For 03:10 Introduction to Trauma Bonding 04:03 Welcome to the Virtual Couch 04:35 Engage with Us: Social Media and Upcoming Events 07:04 The Concept of Trauma Bonding 16:51 The Science Behind Trauma Bonding 21:25 Understanding the Amygdala Hijack 21:49 The Impact of Stress Hormones on the Brain 23:03 The Cycle of Trauma Bonding 24:21 The Ineffectiveness of Well-Meaning Advice 24:59 Psychological Reactance and the White Bear Effect 26:24 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) 28:18 The Concept of Expansion 30:05 Mindfulness and Changing Your Relationship with Thoughts 32:27 Guilt vs. Shame 34:11 Healing from Trauma Bonds 36:45 The Importance of Self-Validation 43:43 Seeking Support and Practicing Mindfulness
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    23 m
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This podcast is so fascinating. Tony has a brilliant way of sharing his thoughts and experiences in a way that makes it easy for me to understand him. I love listening to the Vitual Couch when I'm driving, gaming, and even sleeping!

Fantastic.

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