How to have the conversations that are most difficult — and most important.

Before you can have hard conversations with others, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. That's the counterintuitive advice from Sheila Heen, who says our own internal narratives often derail our attempts at negotiation and conflict resolution.

"The first negotiation is actually a negotiation I have with myself about my own story," explains Heen, a Harvard Law School lecturer and co-author of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. When entering challenging interactions, she recommends a powerful shift where we consider that our perspective is only one side of the story. "If I can shift my purpose from convincing you of something to just understanding how you see it and why we might see it differently, that actually is more likely to generate a good conversation with less defensiveness for both of us."

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Heen joins Matt Abrahams to explore effective communication in high-stakes situations. From giving and receiving feedback with her “ACE” framework (Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation) to recognizing the "degrees of difficulty" in disagreements, she offers practical strategies for having productive conversations even when emotions run high.

Episode Reference Links:

• Sheila Heen
• Sheila’s Books: Difficult Conversations / Thanks for the Feedback
• Ep.144 Communicating Through Conflict: How to Get Along with Anyone
• Ep.136 The Art of Disagreeing Without Conflict: Navigating the Nuance

Connect:

• Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium
• Email Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.io
• Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
• Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (01:36) - Managing Anxiety in Tough Conversations
• (04:15) - Why Emotions Matter
• (07:23) - Shifting the Story We Tell Ourselves
• (08:41) - Starting with the Real Issue
• (10:20) - Getting Unstuck in Conflict
• (13:18) - ACE: The Three Types of Feedback
• (16:20) - Making Feedback Actionable
• (18:40) - Finding Common Ground
• (20:17) - The Final Three Questions
• (27:32) - Conclusion

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Stay sharp, sound confident, and speak with impact — even when you're put on the spot.

Communicating clearly is challenging enough when there’s time to prepare. But in most situations — whether in meetings, casual conversations, or high-stakes moments — we rarely have the luxury of scripting our words. We must think and speak in real time.
Spontaneous communication is a daily challenge, yet few of us receive formal training in how to handle it with poise and confidence. So how can we stay composed and communicate effectively when put on the spot? Drawing on years of experience, our expert coaches — including a sports broadcaster, FBI negotiator, UN interpreter, game show host, NFL referee, and Sotheby’s auctioneer — share their final pieces of advice to help answer that question.
In this special episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the Spontaneous Speaking miniseries concludes with powerful tools, frameworks, and tips for staying calm, organizing your thoughts, and speaking with clarity under pressure. Matt Abrahams shares practical strategies and exercises designed to help you build lasting habits and sharpen your impromptu speaking skills.
Whether you tend to freeze when caught off guard or simply want to express your ideas more effectively on the fly, this final installment will equip you to not only think fast — but speak smart.

Episode Reference Links:

• Chris Voss - Former FBI Negotiator, Keynote Speaker
• Chris Voss's Book: Empathy and Understanding In Business
• Annabelle Williams - Paralympic Champion, Sports Broadcaster
• Giampaolo Bianchi - United Nations Interpreter
• Brad Rogers - NFL Referee, Professor
• Phyllis Kao - Sotheby's Auctioneer
• Peter D Sagal - Game Show Host, Author

Connect:

• Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium
• Email Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.io
• Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
• Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (01:56) - The Power of Structure
• (05:48) - Expert Tip: Trust Yourself
• (06:09) - Expert Tip: Project Confidence & Provide Value
• (07:48) - Expert Tip: Ask for What You Need & Visualization
• (10:15) - Expert Tip: Review & Reflect
• (12:15) - Expert Tip: Use an Encouraging Tone
• (12:36) - Expert Tip: Turn Observation into Storytelling
• (14:29) - Conclusion

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The power of creating the reputation you want to have.

Whether you know it or not, you have a brand. What that brand is, says Lorraine Lee, doesn’t happen by accident. “You can either form and create it, or you can let people define it for you.”

A teacher, content creator, speaker, and author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence and Catapult Your Career, Lee helps people improve their communication presence and define their personal and professional brands. “Your brand is essentially your reputation,” she says. And while she acknowledges that “it can feel intimidating” to actively steer how we’re perceived, her EPIC framework helps navigate this challenge by examining our Experiences, Personality, Identity, and Community.

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lee and host Matt Abrahams explore strategies for showing up memorably in both virtual and in-person settings. From crafting "unique and powerful introductions" to honing your online presence, Lee’s practical advice shows how to communicate your brand in today's digital workplace.

Episode Reference Links:

• Lorraine K. Lee
• Lorraine’s Book: Unforgettable Presence
• Ep.6 Quick Thinks: Communicating and Leading Virtually
• Ep.7 Quick Thinks: Use This Framework to Speak up in Virtual Meetings
• Ep.31 Quick Thinks: How to Shine Online and Excel at Virtual Communication

Connect:

• Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart Premium
• Email Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.io
• Episode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart Website
• Newsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.io
• Think Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube
• Matt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn

Chapters:

• (00:00) - Introduction
• (01:53) - Tips for Virtual Presence
• (03:45) - Public Speaking Insights
• (06:30) - The Importance of Mentors & Sponsors
• (07:45) - Personal Branding on Social Media
• (10:20) - EPIC Career Brand Framework
• (12:45) - Unique & Powerful Introductions
• (15:00) - Conversational Threading
• (16:09) - Avoiding Resting Business Face
• (18:01) - The Final Three Question
• (22:02) - Conclusion

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Become a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.