Does your husband feel like your annoying roommate who you don't have sex with anymore? I get it!

Ever look at your husband and realize you've gone from hot, sexy and passionate lovers to basically glorified roommates who coordinate schedules and occasionally share a bed? You're not alone.

The transition happens so gradually you barely even notice it – one day you're tearing each other's clothes off the moment you're alone, and next thing you know, you're both too exhausted to do anything but collapse into bed after managing careers, children, and life's endless demands.

As someone who's been with my partner for 14 years, I understand this evolution intimately because it happened to me. The passionate honeymoon phase inevitably cools, replaced by deeper knowledge of each other, mounting responsibilities. But this doesn't mean your relationship is doomed to sexless coexistence.

The solution might sound decidedly unsexy, but it's transformed countless relationships, including mine: scheduling sex. I know – nothing kills the mood quite like adding intimacy to your calendar between "dentist appointment" and "soccer practice pickup." Yet this simple practice acknowledges an important truth: what we value, we make time for. By scheduling intimate time with your partner and committing to those dates (barring true emergencies), you're prioritizing your connection amid life's chaos.

The key is consistency without pressure. Don't expect that first scheduled encounter to match the mind-blowing passion of your early days. Instead, approach it as a chance to reconnect physically and remember that your relationship began with attraction before evolving into partnership and parenthood. Combine these intimate encounters with actual dates – remind yourselves why you fell for each other in the first place.

Every relationship has its own rhythm when it comes to intimacy. Some couples thrive with monthly connections, others desire weekly encounters. There's no universal rule dictating frequency – what matters is finding what works for you both. With intentional effort, that physical connection you thought was lost can be rekindled, pulling you back from mere roommates to the lovers you once were.

Want to share your experience or ask questions? Connect with me on social media (Instagram or Tiktok) or at mommyneedsawifey.com where we're building a judgment-free community of women supporting each other through raw, honest conversations about relationships and intimacy.

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