Mostrando resultados por narrador "David S" en Todas las categorías

Far from the fairy tales you're used to...

Two weeks of freedom hasn’t been enough for Eli to rebuild his life. While he races to prepare for looming winter, a killer’s crusade to exterminate Seufert Fells’s homeless drives a knife into the city’s criminal elite. Forced to hunt a killer disguised by magic, Eli’s world becomes a house of mirrors. Friends become enemies. Deceptions abound, and the magic that saved Eli threatens to consume him. With the serial killer targeting everything he loves, even new dumpstermancer spells might not be enough.

Magic has been franchised. Magical conveniences are sold everywhere like designer coffee. Everyday life is filled with technical and magical wonders. Only, the magic is murdering people. Thoth Corp's hot new spell is turning people into ravening monsters. Their only hope to quietly rectify the situation before the epidemic spreads is the spell architect they framed and sent to prison. El's response to his former partners wasn't polite. Homeless, forbidden to use government-regulated magic, and barely surviving out of dumpsters, Eli struggles to rebuild his life.

Carl Nagel is a modern-day wizard with the awesome ability to help turn your life around with his own brand of wizardry to bring you what you seek. His profound knowledge is based not only on his own extensive investigations and study but also on certain occult secrets passed on to him by beings from the unseen world. In this daring book, he reveals these secrets and shows you how to use them to bring about any event or condition you wish.

What would it take for you to be the person you are meant to be? Is it possible for you to have the life you really want? What if someone told you that you already have what you need? In our on-demand society, people seem to be waiting for a magic wand or quick fix to create better circumstances. It’s likely that you also have a long list of things you would like to change about your life—and about yourself. Most people do. But what if you actually did something about it? Most people don’t.

The world is brokenInspector Maddox Dawes of Kyper Central has one more month until retirement. One more month, that is, until a group of rebellious dissidents to the Republic start painting a mysterious message across the screens: Nehrun tai hanen. No one knows what it means, and the computers have been hacked by the rebels, erasing any trace of their doings. Dawes must work with the only language expert in the Republic to determine just what these rebels are saying and why.

David Acuff is a Hollywood insider, a military brat, a comic, a piano recital survivor, a BMW murderer, an offensive linebacker, a dog licker, a divorced TikToker, a father of three Jedi princesses, and possibly a child prodigy. He is also a semi-centurion. That's a word he made up when he turned 50 this year because "quinquagenarian" sounds like a horse disease or a Menudo song. And before he could move on to the next nifty fifty, he wanted to process how he'd lived, laughed, loved, and litigated along the way. So he wrote this semi-memoir. A semi-memie, let's call it.

A wild and wacky parody of the original Hellraiser movie. Now with more raisins!

Jimmy DiFrenzo is the head of one of the Figarazzi family, one of the toughest mob families around. He loves his gabagool, his gold chains, and his chest hair. He lives in a nice suburban home with his adoring wife and child. The perfect, yet hackneyed, life of a Sicilian American. But he has secrets. Blondie is a spoiled little rich girl who always gets her way. When her life becomes tedious, she begins a life of breaking into random homes. She never steals anything; she's in it for the excitement. All is going swimmingly, till she finds herself the wrong house.

The apocalypse is coming. A major demon has decided to start a war that will kill off humanity and give control to his demon legions. Kastor Blackwood was chosen at birth to prevent that war. Will he succeed in finding the guardian and prevent world destruction? Will humanity survive? Will they be able to crawl and scratch their way back from the brink of extinction in a fragile new world? With the help of a few unlikely allies, he may be able to succeed in his task.

When I was four years old, my inept biological parents decided they wanted to summon a demon. They planned to summon one and control him so they could gain riches. However, they didn't realize you can't control a demon, you can only enter into an agreement with them, and so their demon was able to walk out of the summoning circle that they didn't close properly.

Long ago, in a land far away, there lived a beautiful princess named Snow White. Okay, it wasn’t long ago, it was just a few minutes ago. And it wasn’t far away, it was the Bad Apple Miniature Golf Course/Action Fun Park in New Jersey. Come join your favorite characters: Snow White, the Queen, the Pepperoni Prince, and of course, the dwarves - Farty, Disorderly, Complimentary, Turkey, Sleazy, Juicy, and Smug.

Hansel and Gretel are two long-haul truckers, a brother and sister team, whose work order is simple: Deliver a truckload of cookies across country to an old witch in the forest. They accept the job, despite the rumors that those who deliver cookies sometimes don't make it back. When they stop to pick up their load, they notice something isn't right. Pastries shouldn't be bleeding and screaming and trying to escape their boxes.

Adam is the first human being all alone in the Garden of Eden. He has everything he needs, but he sure is lonely. One morning he awakens to find his body flayed open. Could it be kidney thieves? No, God has stolen a rib to make him a companion. Why he couldn't have just made Eve out of dirt like Adam was, is beyond him. Adam and Eve are living in relative peace in Paradise until trouble comes to the Garden in the form of a snake.

There are incidents and emergencies in the world that defy logical explanation, events that could be defined as supernatural, extraterrestrial, or simply otherworldly. Standard laws do not allow for such instances, nor are most officials or authorities trained to handle them. In recognition of these facts, one organization has been created that can. Assembled by a loose international coalition, their mission is to deal with these situations using diplomacy, guile, force, and strategy as necessary.

Everything has come down to this. The Invaders have finally reached D.C. It's time for Eric and crew to destroy Uncle Mel and thus the entire alien race, but it seems that he's hidden away, and the city is being taken over by Mel clones. Starlet is held captive in a cave somewhere in Massachusetts. Can she break free and find Eric? And if so, can she reach him in time to help bring down the President? This has gone on long enough. It has to end. But how? Things are gonna get weird.

Mystical. Weird. Hilarious. It's a tale of idiots. It's a tale of life. A dumb cast of characters you have to see to believe. The surgeon on an acid trip. The lazy Uncle who fuses with his favorite chair. The boy who comes back from the dead for revenge. Bootsy Collins. What do these people have in common? About as much as you have with Kevin Bacon.

The time? Tomorrow. Can the president of the United Red States of America and the president of the United Blue States of America come together to stop a giant asteroid before it destroys Earth in one month's time? Who is the mysterious Doctor Apophis? What is the "S.U.R.", and why is the president of the USA determined to defend it at all costs? What the hell is the Canadian army doing in North Dakota, and why does HRH Queen Kate of England want to wage war with the USA? And what is...The Myoshi Effect?

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. So is the road to Washington, D.C. The adventures of Starlet and Eric continue. The Topplers are toppling the giant wall surrounding the country. The Invaders are well on their way to invading the White House, and thus saving the country, and humanity, from a malicious alien race. All goes well in the beginning, however, in the new world not everyone is who they seem. Will the Topplers topple? Will Eric and Carlton make it to D.C. alive? The answers are here.

Ever wanted to be in a story? Our hero has. And now here he is. And it sucks. How did he get here? What did he do to deserve this? Why are these tales so much worse than the originals?