Cat Humor

The author "discovered" the feline world's best-kept secret in a file hidden on his mother's computer by her cat, Cleo, and now shares it with humanity for the first time. Topics covered range from avoiding visits to the vet, to the artful display of captured prey, to getting in the way of a human trying to read anything, including this paragraph. Upon publication, Cleo denied authorship and hired a team of lawyers with their claws out, but despite her best efforts, word is spreading with over 75,000 Kindle downloads.

Read all of Cindy Blackburn's Cozy Mysteries for FREE with Kindle Unlimited! Welcome to Lake Elizabeth, Vermont, where Santa Claus is due to arrive any day now, and Cassie Baxter is going nuts. Who wouldn’t go nuts? This is her first Christmas with her adopted son Truman, and she’s determined to make it memorable. But that human skull the kid found when he was searching for Christmas decorations in the attic wasn’t exactly part of the plan. And Joe Wylie, Cassie’s supposed boyfriend, isn’t making life any easier during this frantic week before the holiday either. Then there’s ...

Magic got them into this mess. Now it’s their only way out... Layney’s life looks picture-perfect—respectable husband, sweet teenage daughter, and a five-bedroom home in Cheshire. But when her daughter acts possessed and long-buried memories resurface, Layney realises something is very wrong. Years ago, Gran cast a spell to keep them safe. Now it’s wearing off. When Layney remembers her long-lost Highland heartthrob, one blazing row with her husband is all it takes to set her escape plan in motion. She’s heading to the wilds of Scotland—specifically, the remote Isle of Whye, ...

A poet often writes about the world around him/her or the world within. This is where the inspiration comes from, where his/her perspective and imagination are colored. When a dog or two, (or three or four), enters a poet’s life, either by choice or by accident, they tend to sneak into the poet’s poems, either as the subject or part of the landscape of the poem, like a bark in the distance or a low howl at your feet begging for a bone. For Ronald j Palmer, these are those poems. Dogged is a tender celebration of the bond between human and dog, an elegant lament to nature, time, and ...

Welcome to the seaside town of New Shrimpton, where magic is in the air, shrimp can be scooped up by the barrel, and a murderer hides in plain sight… Alice Munroe is the only PI in town, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a little help. For one, she can speak to animals and plants… though her cat, the extravagantly grumpy Mr. Ploppers, sometimes makes her wish she couldn’t. Still, when that’s not enough, she has a few other magical tricks up her sleeve. Things go sideways, however, when she’s hired to investigate a death that everyone has written off as natural. Save for ...

Thrift shop til someone drops... Taking in donations at a thrift store could only bring good fortune, right? That is, unless there’s more than secondhand treasures in those boxes… Jessica Braun’s thrift shop is thriving, her first donations are coming in to resell, and the new neighborhood watch is a success. Add a date with an unexpected gentleman, and Jess’s first summer back in Minnesota is sweet as maple syrup. But when donated collectibles are stolen, a local woman lands in deep water. The deputy is ready to let Jess help investigate when the quiet town is turned upside down ...

Brinley Brubaker’s decision to move to Hawkins Harbor and take over running a beachside coffee shop didn’t include seeing a dead body on the beach. It doesn’t help that her newly adopted dog made the discovery or that finding a corpse close to work is bad for business. She soon learns the deceased is a local man with a less than stellar reputation who recently disappeared from his boat. Since falling overboard doesn’t lead to a sandy grave, the reports of an accidental death quickly turn to foul play. Things get worse when rumors of an innocent encounter make her aunt a suspect. Can...

This is a small novel, in a screenplay, about a fictional world of animals.

There once was a young winemaker who hid a terrible curse from all those he loved. Whenever a drop of alcohol touched his lips, he would immediately think he was a cat. You are invited to join our young hero, as what was intended to be a simple journey soon turns into a remarkable adventure that will change his life forever.

Pool shark Jessie Hewitt likes to call the shots. But apparently her two best friends didn’t get that memo. Candy Poppe has taken up with the wrong man. And Karen Sembler? She’s been kidnapped! Jessie’s no-nonsense husband, Wilson Rye the cop guy, suggests she leave the crime-solving to the experts and the love lives to those involved. Does Jessie listen? Take a guess. Six Easy Pockets is loaded with all the humor, mayhem, and mystery Cindy Blackburn’s fans have come to expect. But this one also includes a millionaire, a mansion, and a princess! Enjoy! “I laugh, giggle, snort, and...

In one vast and sparkling city, everyone can fly. Almost everyone. A few, nicknamed leadfeet, are sentenced by a trick of nature or fate to forever spend their lives closer to the ground. But one night, a girl named Gurl - a leadfoot, an orphan, a nobody - discovers that she can do something much better than fly. She can become invisible. This amazing power will help her uncover the secret mysteries of the city. But even with her newfound talent, Gurl can't seem to hide from a giant rat man with a taste for cats.

IF STRONG LANGUAGE, NUDITY, AND REFERENCES TO NATURAL BODILY FUNCTIONS ARE UPSETTING TO YOU, I RECOMMEND AVOIDING THIS BOOK. IT IS BEST TO STEER CLEAR OF ALL MY WORKS, ESPECIALLY THE GET SPAINED SERIES. LIVING IN SPAIN CAN OFTEN BE MORE MANURE THAN ROSES. Caution: This book includes some scenes that may be unsettling to some readers. The author does not support all of Spain's customs, but believes it is important to acknowledge them in order to provide an authentic portrayal of life in Spain, which is not solely about leisure and relaxation by the beach. Abbie had been living in Spain for ...

Can a human female marry an Otan male without getting too attached? Karlee has a wonderful life on earth as a high-paid escort. She has freedom, money, and the ability to travel whenever and wherever she wants. Getting married was not in the plans, especially not to an alien, until the Intergalactic Marriage Council contacts her and makes her an offer too good to pass up. Erik is not what she expects of an Otan, but the sizzle between them is undeniable. Just spending one day with Erik, Karlee already knows that being married to him will be a wild ride. Karlee will do anything to get what ...

A Conversation With A Cat That Might Not Have Actually Taken Place. Cat: Watchyadoin hooman? Me: Oh not much. Just putting the final touches to our book thingy. Cat: Catalorks, sounds important. Me: Sort of. But then, maybe, it isn't. Cat: Huh! Me: Well, I'm writing about a conversation that we're having at this very moment. Cat: Yep. With you so far. Me: But this conversation never really happened. Cat: So, umm, why are we having it then? You know, if it never happened. Me: Well, I needed something a bit bonkers for the back cover. Cat: So why not just make something up like you did before...

Random but meaningful conversations between a cat and her hooman...as written by the clueless but well-meaning hooman. Me: So I've done this book thing. Cat: What's a book thing? Me: Well, books are those things in my bedroom that you sit on quite peacefully during the day and knock onto the floor in the middle of the night when I'm asleep. Cat: Aha. And what do you mean, you've done one? Me: It's about our adventures since you joined me, err, I mean took over the household. Cat: I see. Though, you didn't ask, did you? Me: Oh, is it a problem? Cat: Not necessarily, but I feel permission and...

Viking Cats most definitely played a part in the incursions against England. Of this there is no doubt, despite efforts by so called “real” historians to cover this up. What is unclear is why there is little mention of Saxon Cats. One theory is that Saxons preferred dogs, usually big, mangy, smelly beasts that hunted stags and eat babies. Editors note; the eating of babies was usually blamed on the Viking invaders to scare the Saxon populace. Several famous Viking Cats do exist in history but probably as a hybrid of several heroic felines. For example, Balder Blackclaw was a fierce ...

Ivy Bloom is back! The TV renovation show Nailing It!, and its crew of diva designers has come to town. Ivy has no time for TV. She is trying to run her bookstore and train for a mini-triathlon to raise money for a good cause, and break her addiction to bagels. When her best intentions lead to the discovery of a dead bank president she has to interfere with...uh, help Detective Drake Jordan bring the killer to justice.

America's most beloved writer, Lilian Jackson Braun, author of twenty-four Cat Who... mysteries is now the subject of a mystery herself. In this spoof by one of her most ardent admirers, her beheaded body has been discovered in the men's room of a gay bar in Lower Manhattan. The police are baffled, and so it is up to Braun's eccentric writer friend, James Q. (Qafka), and his Siamese cats Ying-Ton and Poon-Tang to solve the ghastly mystery.

A murder plot... ...and the cat who must stop it. Jamie’s girlfriend wants him dead. Scottie needs to save his human’s life. But how? He’s just a cat. The intended victim goes about his daily life not knowing his girlfriend and her secret lover are plotting against him. Scottie knows, but the soon-to-be murdered man doesn’t understand the feline’s attempts to save his life. Jamie is an easy mark and his death is imminent. His girlfriend will not give up until he’s six feet under...with his cats. Will Scottie rescue his human or perish along side him? Will he get the help he ...

Little Jenna is stolen… …and the cat who must rescue her. Little Jenna Richardson has been taken, and Scottie finds her trapped nearby. He must save this little girl. But being only a cat, his options are rather limited. The two heinous criminals … and one vicious dog … watching over her make that rescue even that much more urgent, as they have devious plans for her. Scottie’s gonna need all the help he can get … except that there are very few friends here … if any … to help save her. Time is running out for precious little Jenna. Can Scottie get her out before she ...