Dark Humor Horror

The Holy Bible, according to Matt Shaw. Taking the popular stories from the Bible and giving them a horror twist, this book is not intended to be used as a way of preaching your beliefs. God would probably frown down upon such usage, but if you wanted to put your feet up and chuckle along with some dark humor, then God would surely approve. For fans of the original book, this isn't for you. You won't like this. Don't listen to it. Don't be mad at me for writing it, though because, if you think about it, I am still getting the important stories out there. Kind of.

A new dark comedy series by the creator of DeathCreator! Shtulls had fought a bloody war for the human kingdom despite not being one himself. He watched his men die and struggled on until he beat the demonic emperor and returned home a hero. But on the eve of his medal ceremony, he encountered a being that changed his life for better or worse. Now he is cursed, poor, homeless, and without mana. His curse forces him to say or do whatever he thinks is the worst thing possible and has robbed him of his honor and dignity.

After a bout of illness, Elijah Potbury, a practicing necromancer in the town of Name Pending in the territory of Wyoming, is again open for business. His first customer one morning is Miss Abigail, who commissions Potbury to resurrect her sister so she can locate a missing strong-box, the location of which is known only to her deceased sister. The sister is successfully raised but proves uncooperative in the search for the strong-box. Potbury, at no extra charge, devises a plan to jog the sister's memory by having her former love interest, the late Nat McGrue, pay court to her in the ...

Alison Hart, a medium by trade, tours the dormitory towns of London's orbital ring road with her flint-hearted sidekick, Colette, passing on messages from beloved dead ancestors. But behind her plump, smiling persona hides a desperate woman: she knows the terrors the next life holds but must conceal them from her wide-eyed clients. At the same time she is plagued by spirits from her own past, who infiltrate her body and home, becoming stronger and nastier the more she resists....

Some people say that it’s a demon-haunted world. That certainly is true in Gus’s county around Halloween, mostly due to the digital demons plaguing Gus this year that live inside the new Pakiman game. There’s also a fancy Halloween party to deal with, to which everyone who is someone is invited—and that includes Gus. If getting a costume for a party he doesn’t want to go to was his worst problem, it would be a fun holiday season. Unfortunately, someone keels over dead in the free-cheese section of Fit Foods, and that opens the door to murder. That open door leads Gus right into ...

A hellacious thunderstorm rages over the small tin mining town of Bleddington, waking reclusive teenager, Willard Jennings, from his sleep. As the fleeting flashes of light illuminate the room, he sees brief and taunting glimpses of a broken figure standing at the foot of his bed.

In the town of Name Pending, Wyoming, Elijah Potbury does brisk business as the territory's only practicing necromancer. For a reasonable fee, he'll raise any friend or family member. Stories contained in this volume: "The Automatons Who Ate Lead": After convincing Potbury to resurrect two disembodied brains that are to be transplanted into automatons, the diabolical Mr. Seven uses them to kidnap Miss Henrietta. Potbury, with the help of his faithful gun hand, the late Nat McGrue, does everything in his power to thwart the scheming airship owner. "The Hatching of the Wolf Spider": The Wolf ...

When you look into the abyss...the abyss looks into you. After dumping the body of a serial killer on my former boss’s desk, I handed in my cop badge, which I’ve replaced with an FBI badge. Yep, I’m a Fed. I work for Special Affairs, a clandestine department tasked with policing the occult underground. In the meantime, my personal life is a disaster zone. There’s a Yakuza boss who wants to kill me, and my crazy Hellicorn is going through an existential crisis. But it’s the evil warlock who is making my life a living nightmare.

The cornerstone of private investigation—insurance fraud. Doing it, obviously. And then there’s the taxi job. Run someone to the airport while being chased by who knows what? Mix that in with drugs, party boats, and the Virgin Mary, and you’ve got a pretty standard day for one Mr. Cole. All for a lousy paycheck. Full of infanticide, evisceration, sadists, and snuff, Alex Cole is part private detective, part mercenary...all sick f--k. Cole Investigations is open—once more—for business.

Mason Dixon is a verified Internet celebrity. Yet his vlog is just a ruse to spread disinformation so he can secretly relocate endangered cryptids. But when Mason and his camera operator Emma find themselves on a dragon-like gowrow's bad side, calling cut won't save them. Can Mason save the endangered beasts before he becomes extinct?

The town of Lake Woebegotton, MN is a small town, filled with ordinary (yet above average) people, leading ordinary lives. Ordinary, that is, until the dead start coming back to life, with the intent to feast upon the living! Now this small town of above average citizens must overcome their petty rivalries and hidden secrets in order to survive an onslaught of the dead.

The deathly silence is about to be broken. She disliked the company of others and death did little to warm her spirit. She had led an independent life and she faced death in much the same way. She was finally alone, finally free from the mindless babble of others, at least that's what she thought. May Elizabeth Trump was the rarest of spirits and she was none too happy about it either. She was a dead medium, a ghost who can speak with the living, and her services were to become in great demand.

Chuck Gross would like nothing more than to prune himself from his family tree. He’s already clipped his name, turning Charles Grossheart, Jr.—son of a billionaire labor exploiter, weapons manufacturer, and climate change denier—into ordinary good-guy Chuck, the “self-made” proprietor of an up-and-coming punk label. But when Daddy threatens to cut him off, Chuck is forced to get a “real job”—and conveniently, an old college friend has just swept back into his life with the perfect opportunity.

Wynn Powe comes from a long line of powerful women, but when an elusive enemy draws too close for comfort, Wynn pursues a creature who can put an end to the fight. But when the powerful Guardian she calls forth makes her heart beast faster and her breath quicken, she must handle something she didn't count on at all - an earth-shattering attraction to the monster himself. Enter Knox. He may be a newly summoned gargoyle, but he possesses all the skills and memories of his race...and that includes protecting the beautiful woman he's bound to.

Life is hard. Change is difficult. But adjusting to being a ghost? Well, that is just darn near impossible. And Bridget Sway is struggling. It's not just the job, the uniform, the housemates, the rules, the community service. It's everything. And now she's facing a week-long group assessment to evaluate her adjustment.As if that isn't bad enough, some inconsiderate soul has shoved another dead ghost in her locker. Things are looking bleak for Bridget. If she fails the assessment, she'll be "re-educated."

Mystery, monsters, madness and mayhem...maybe even a little murder, all just another day in the world of the Secret Files of Jest R. Wicked. When a boy wakes up near a seemingly abandoned village with no memory of who he is or how he got there he sets out to uncover the truth behind what has happened. What he learns will both challenge and terrify him. Filled with suspense, adventure, and dark comedy, this first installment of the Secret Files of Jest R. Wicked has the hero up against a crazed doctor, people with a dark secret, unspeakable creatures, and an uncomfortable amount of spiders. ...

Here I am, Charlie f--king Whitman - still pissed from last night, driving a rental car with two retarded kids in the back, somewhere between Barcelona and Paris. I used to be an art dealer. I suppose I still am, but now I do bad things for good money. Everything has its price, and I think I've just found mine.

In the land of Lapvona, the lord of the land Villiam is cheating the local villagers of their food, their water, their livelihoods. Grotesque and ridiculous, he marries the pregnant and tongueless ex-nun Agata, whom he believes will make him God, and his son will be the second Christ.

A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!

A giant asteroid is threatening to destroy Earth the day after Cheryl calls in sick to work. Come Hell or high water, she and her best friend Jeremy decide to face the pending apocalypse together, one shot of whiskey at a time. When supplies run low, they venture out into the unknown and meet quite the group of characters as they band together to avoid the dead/not-so-dead referred to as "The Others". Join Cheryl and Jeremy on their quest for survival in this witty and humorous dark tale.