Dark Humor Mystery

A thrilling collection of the first eight Samantha Moon short stories, including: Teeth - What happens when a child is born with a rare throwback gene, a gene that produces two exceptionally long teeth? Vampire Nights - Samantha Moon meets someone unexpected on a late night trip to Denny's, someone who seems to know all her secrets and has all the answers. Vampire Blues - Samantha Moon discovers that even a routine case can offer a few surprises―and that not all men are created equal. Vampire Dreams - Samantha Moon sets out to find the answer to a mysterious, haunting dream...a dream in ...

It’s been seven years since Gloomy Knob landed in the Ted Stevens High-Security Federal Penitentiary and five years since the end of the war, the one North Korea started when they sent a missile to Cold Storage, Alaska. Serving a life sentence for the murder of his sister, Gloomy spends his time trying to forget about the past. Then one day, Gloomy is snatched from his off-site work station. Instead of celebrating his newfound freedom, Gloomy comes unmoored - he feels he belongs in prison. But his kidnappers believe Gloomy knows where a second nuclear warhead is hidden.

Check out Sylvia Table: he drives a seafoam-green 1968 Ranchero, owns a badass sword, and is one dead uncle away from an inheritance that should set him and the love of his life, Lady Sixkiller, on the road to easy living and the family she’s always wanted. Sure, he may not be cut out for any kind of conventional job, but as long as Lady can hold things down as a waitress until rich old Methuselah shuffles off this mortal coil, what’s the big deal? Yes, things are looking good for Sylvia Table, aka Big Noise, aka Grandest Poobah, aka Big Quiche.

When John Hunter finds out he can get paid $5,000 for trapping a rogue chimera, it's game on. Now, he'll have a crash course on the goings-on of the secret underworld and more than a few bruises to prove his mettle. But not all is as straightforward as it may seem. There are those closest to Jonny who are more than they're letting on. And the humans in his life turn out to be the worst kind of monsters. Jonny may be able to save himself, if he wants to save the city from an unspeakable, ancient evil lurking in the shadows, he'll have to catch up fast.

Berlin: a man wakes up in a trash can with no idea who he is. He's taken to hospital for treatment. Then people start trying to assassinate him. The man has to find out why, how to get them to stop, and what the CIA has to do with all this. There's also the little problem of working out who he used to be, and why that changed. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Piper and best friend Lance are trying to find him.

The legendary Lone Star Cafe, a little corner of Texas right in the heart of New York City. At one time or another, everyone from the Rolling Stones to Willie Nelson has jammed there. But this night, Thanksgiving eve, there's a different type of jam at the Lone Star. Larry Barkin, half of the headlining Barkin Brothers, is found dead in his dressing room, his head bashed in with his own guitar and a two dollar bill stuffed in his shirt pocket. It's Kinky they call for help, but the fast-talking, cigar-smoking country singer turned amateur detective has other plans.

Morris Duckworth teaches English to the pampered rich of Verona, and Morris is not pleased. Living a meager existence in a squalid apartment, he regards his privileged students with envy and disdain, first wreaking revenge by petty theft and then, like all good criminals, graduating to grander larceny. When one of those students, a beautiful but vapid heiress named Massimina, falls in love with him, Morris can almost smell upward mobility.

For Alice and her partner Joe, moving to the sleepy village of Penton is a chance to embrace country life and prepare for the birth of their first child. He can take up woodwork; maybe she’ll learn to make jam? But the rural idyll they’d hoped for doesn’t quite pan out when a dead body is discovered at their local prenatal class, and they find themselves suspects in a murder investigation. With a cloud of suspicion hanging over the heads of the whole group, Alice and her new-found pregnant friends set out to solve the mystery and clear their names, with the help of her troublesome dog, Helen.

Bobby Gold is a lovable criminal. After nearly 10 years in prison, he's no sooner out than he's back to work breaking bones for tough guys. His turf: the club scene and restaurant business. It's not that he enjoys the job - Bobby has real heart - but he's good at it, and a guy has to make a living. Things change when he meets Nikki, the cook at a club most definitely not in his territory. Smitten, he can't stay away. Bobby Gold has known trouble before, but with Nikki the sauté bitch in his life, things take a turn for life or death.

A successful entrepreneur in the mushroom industry, Jaakko Kaunismaa is a man in his prime. At just 37 years of age, he is shocked when his doctor tells him that he's dying. What is more, the cause is discovered to be prolonged exposure to toxins; in other words, someone has slowly but surely been poisoning him. Determined to find out who wants him dead, Jaakko embarks on a suspenseful roller-coaster journey full of unusual characters, bizarre situations and unexpected twists.

Come with me on a journey into the dark distance. What will we find waiting? A wooden soldier that is much more than the toy it appears to be... A father who wants nothing more than the forgiveness of his abused son... The most tragic automobile accident in history... A trip to Mexico that is anything but a relaxing vacation... A tower with a valuable jewel that turns out to be not what's expected... A vampire who finds faith can come in many forms... An interplanetary outpost haunted by a rogue alien... A serial killing shaman who takes refuge in the most dangerous swamp on the planet, ...

Niederkaltenkirchen goes future: Dass nun also tatsächlich ein Luxus-Spa-Hotel seine Pforten in Niederkaltenkirchen geöffnet hat, erfreut zumindest die eine Hälfte der Bevölkerung nur wenig. Als kurz darauf auch noch eine Leiche ausgerechnet in einer Marmorbadewanne dort liegt, muss der Eberhofer freilich wieder ran. Ganz egal, wie geschmeidig es mit der Susi grad läuft. Leider ist der Birkenberger Rudi momentan ein wenig verpeilt, was den Franz vor eine schwere Entscheidung stellt.

Criminal defense investigator Cecil Younger spends his days coaching would-be felons on how to avoid incriminating themselves. When Sherrie, a returning client with a good heart but a penchant for bad boys, asks him to track down some evidence that will help with her case, Cecil agrees. Cecil treks out to the shady apartment complex she mentioned, only to find his teenage daughter, Blossom, inside. He manages to get both the box Sherrie wanted and his daughter safely home, and later discovers the "evidence" is a large pile of cash - fifty thousand dollars, to be exact.

It's the score of a lifetime: easy access to a lavish New York City apartment, hordes of valuables, and an absentee owner avoiding the lawyers of his unhappy ex-wives. But before they pull the job, Dortmunder's crew is startled to find their beloved gin joint, the OJ, in the clutches of the Mafia--who consider it perfect for a little fraud, courtesy of a nice big fire. For tactical and highly superstitious reasons, the fate of the OJ is even more important to the crew than the enormous score.

The cast and crew of a popular TV crime drama are shooting in the Lake District – but behind the scenes, relationships are as tense as on-screen. The director’s reputation proceeds him, the two lead stars are feuding and rumours swirl. Meanwhile the locals are enjoying the filming. But when on-screen slaughter gets swapped for real-life murder at the concert hall where the TV drama is based, and the genuine police are as baffled as the TV detectives, it falls to the locals to search for the truth.

When three-year-old Harry goes missing, the whole of America turns its attention to one small town. Everyone is eager to help. Everyone is a suspect. Desperate mother Jess' grief is driving her to extreme measures. Newcomer Jared, with an easy charm and a string of broken hearts in his wake is also a suspect. Photographer Jerry is a suspect who is determined to break away from his controlling mother once and for all. And investigating them all is a police chief with a hidden obsession of his own....

Lookout, Dr. Frankenstein, because here comes Wanda Depraysie… It’s not as though I meant to create a life. I didn’t, but that life is still here, all the same. And the worst part? I created it with… sigh… my detested cousin, Maverick. Now, before you think I’m a double-timing, good-for-nothing witch, I’m not. It was all an accident. Swear. And the even craziest part? This little mixup isn’t even the worst thing that’s happened to me this week. No, that award goes to the invitation I receive to my own funeral—a party sponsored by the leader of the vampires, Rupert, ...

When her daughter Lotte was born, Dani had welcomed the chance to be a stay-at-home mother. To be good at something, for once. But now Dani can’t stop thinking about her seemingly healthy husband, Clark, dropping dead. Not because she hates him (not right now, anyway) but because it’s become abundantly clear to Dani that if he dies, she and Lotte will be left destitute. And then Dani discovers The Temple.

It's hard to find work as a doctor when using your real name will get you killed. So hard that when a reclusive billionaire offers Dr. Peter Brown, aka Pietro Brnwa, a job accompanying a sexy but self-destructive paleontologist on the world's worst field assignment, Brown has no real choice but to say yes. Even if it means that an army of murderers, mobsters, and international drug dealers-not to mention the occasional lake monster-are about to have a serious Pietro Brnwa problem.

Something is up with Lorcan. And I’m fairly sure I’m not just imagining things—he’s been distracted, working later than usual, appears exhausted, and was that vanilla perfume I smelled on him? Regardless of what’s going on with the undead nuisance, I’ve got my own problems to deal with. Namely, I’ve been pinpointed as the main suspect in a murder! I know—as if I have the time or the interest to kill someone. Ridiculous. Anyway, before this situation gets any worse, I need to prove my innocence, stat. Just how am I going to do that? Stick around and find out…