Dragon Fantasy Humor

Finance: The lifeblood of any country’s beating heart and the life’s work of Sailor Kelstern — Merchant Banker. While wizards brood in their towers and great warriors charge into battle, Sailor is more interested in the price of ore, herbs, and alchemicals carried by the trade ships. But when a spell of bad fortune and bitter rivalry leaves him scrambling to turn a profit on little more than winds and whispers, one such whisper catches Sailor’s ear — a dragon has been seen in the west.

Rule #2 - There is no basement in the college library. If you see a door leading to the basement, inform a librarian immediately. (The entire library is strictly off limits during winter break.) ~*~ Ever since she was young, Kennedy Fisher has been obsessed with dragons. Now that she’s matured a little, she’s added Rex Draconis to her list of obsessions. Not that she needs more than two things on her list. I mean, a billionaire heir bad boy and dragons are probably more than enough to last her a lifetime, don’t you think? Anyways! Rex is nice enough, though she wouldn’t say he’s ...

Playing celestial blues in dive bars is better than leading armies to slaughter - just ask Kaltron, the most reluctant God of War ever. He'd rather go by Carl, strum to his songs, and avoid his dysfunctional divine family's endless power games. Too bad his overeager brother Yond unleashed Jegu, a soul-devouring horror, threatening gods and mortals alike. Now Carl's got problems. His manipulative dad wants him to pick up the Bright Sword again. His seductive sister keeps trying to rope him into cosmic schemes. The beautiful mortal barmaid Angelina has caught his eye. And oh yeah - there's ...

Steve, Rista, and Grint survived the first half of their trek across Arkana, but the dangers are only beginning. They have Lumina, the most powerful sword in Arkana, but it is slowly sucking the life force out of Steve. Now, they need to capture a dragon to carry them to their ultimate showdown with Mikol, bringer of darkness.

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

Although she's an orphan in indentured servitude, 16-year-old Jennifer Strange is pretty good at her job of managing the unpredictable crew at Kazam Mystical Arts Management. She already solved the Dragon Problem, avoided mass destruction by Quarkbeast, and helped save magic in the Ununited Kingdoms. Yet even Jennifer may be defeated when the long-absent Mighty Shandar makes an astonishing appearance and commands her to find the Eye of Zoltar.

A long time ago magic faded away, leaving behind only yo-yos, the extremely useful compass-pointing-to-North enchantment and the spell that keep bicycles from falling over. Things are about to change. Magical power is on the rise and King Snodd IV of Hereford has realised that he who controls magic controls almost anything. One person stands between Snodd and his plans for power and riches beyond the wildest dreams of avarice.

They say it’s lonely at the top, but try getting a century to yourself in middle management. The war between good and evil is over – spoiler: evil WON – now all that’s left is for the forces of darkness to settle into their thousand-year dominion of a blighted continent… Except… no one really knows who’s in charge, how to build anything (apart from the gnomes), or what Soiled Red is made of. The wizard Glandoff is still at large and rumours abound of dwarf song in the crags… who would expect barbershop from the perpetually unshaven? Ithgar Ornac, Breaker of Kings, Scourge of...

In Dragon Kissby Book Sense 76 Children's Pick author E. D. Baker, Audun the teenage dragon falls for Princess Millie the moment he sees her. Now separated from her and forlorn, he's desperate to find her again.

An aging dragon and a wizard engage in an epic fantasy duel every ten years—to a draw. Too old to continue, they make a bet: Each must train an apprentice. In ten years, the apprentices will duel. The catch? The dragon must pick a human, and the wizard must pick a dragon. Who will triumph in this ultimate sorcery challenge? Their legacies hang in the balance in this magical rivalry.

Enjoy this compelling spy thriller series with loveable guy and girl next door characters. A madman seizes power in China ...and only America can stop him. In this blockbuster novel of first love and last resorts, the CIA must assemble an unlikely team of young scientists and pilots to infiltrate the Middle Kingdom and take down the ruthless megalomaniac who has set his sights on America. Join forces with America’s next hero as he uses his powers of deduction and iron will to overcome all odds, save his girl, and rescue a grateful nation. Termed “iconoclastic” and “an epic adventure...

Olympus is calling! The thirteenth installment of The Godhunter Series takes us through the Greek pantheon reaching ultimate highs and surprising depths. Ambrosia, the source of immortality for the Greek gods. It's creation is a secret, held only by Zeus himself, and he's held that secret over the heads of his fellow gods for years, giving ambrosia only to those who agree to serve him. Now the Godhunter has gotten wind of his monopoly on immortality and although she normally fights for humanity, this time she's going to make an exception and fight for the gods. But Zeus isn't the only storm...

Witch vs. Mage: End Game In the thrilling conclusion to the quirky and charming Darkly Sweet series, Penny puts it all on the line for love, but sometimes, lines were made to be crossed. Drake can’t be what she needs, but his ego won’t let him back down without a fight. Conveniently, there are endless battles, the greatest one against his need to find a mop bucket with Penny Lane inside it. With mage contracts and Darksiders to juggle, (never kiss a Darksider) Penny and Drake will take on mayhem and paperwork, golf balls and heart-shaped shrapnel until Dayside and Darkside will never be...

Dragons are celestial beings from the angelic realms who have been sent here by Source to assist and protect human beings. In this audiobook, world-renowned ascension and Atlantis expert Diana Cooper shares incredibly powerful visualizations through which the dragons will touch, heal, and inspire.

After crushing their very first quest, young adventurers Pan, Moxie, and Fart are hungry for their next challenge. Luckily, the Great and Powerful Kevin has cooked up something for the trio: Locate a bedazzler - a rare and monstrous creature of truly horrific power - and bring back...its barf.

The Fairest of Them All Particularly if we're talking about cold, hard justice. I am the law, at least I am until I'm framed for murder by those who resent my competence at cutting through red tape and the underbellies of corrupt mages. Some call me cruel. All right, everyone calls me cruel, but when you need someone without scruples to go undercover and reveal the impossible, I'm the go-to witch. Apparently, because I'm also being forced to work with the mage I'd like best to rip apart. Convenient that he's so hard to kill, or I just couldn't resist the temptation. He's the golden ...

Raccoon brothers Bingo and J’miah are the newest recruits of the Official Sugar Man Swamp Scouts. The opportunity to serve the Sugar Man - the massive creature who magnanimously rules over the swamp - is a big responsibility. 12-year-old Chap Brayburn is not a member of any such organization. But he loves the swamp something fierce. And help is surely needed, because world-class alligator wrestler Jaeger Stitch wants to turn Sugar Man swamp into an Alligator World Wrestling Arena and Theme Park.

Twelve-year-old Alice Mayfair has a secret. She's not human. But who - or what - is she? While Alice goes in search of her past, her best friend, Millie Maximus, a tiny Bigfoot with a big voice, prepares for her future. Together, they plan to sneak off to New York City, where Millie hopes to audition for The Next Stage, the TV show she's sure will rocket her to stardom and free her from the suffocating expectations of her tribe.

Haunted with the ever-present memory of watching his parents get devoured by bears as a child, and now losing his adopted father and mentor, Klaus Richter embarks on a voyage of self-discovery and booze. He finds so much more - and so much less.

There are rules about owning a dragon. Don’t tell your parents. Don’t feed it cereal. And definitely don’t take it to Show-and-Tell. When a sarcastic, snack-loving kid finds a fire-breathing best friend named Flamey in his backyard, his life gets toasted—in the best possible way. But when Flamey mysteriously vanishes, what follows is a laugh-out-loud, marshmallow-melting mystery across secret tunnels, donut guilds, sewer traps, and a town that just doesn’t believe in dragons. Yet. Packed with heart, humor, friendship, and more flaming burps than anyone requested, Hey, Who Stole My...