Dragon Fantasy Humor

If Howard Morton and Freddie the Frog Killer were trying to hold you down so that Mary Lou Hutton could kiss you, you might run as fast as Jeremy Thatcher did the day he stumbled into Mr. Elives' Magic Shop. And if you stumbled into that strange shop, you, too, might be asked to make a choice. What would you buy? The Chinese rings? The Skull of Truth? Or the dragon's egg?

The ghast king Malacoda and the terrible enderman Erebus have led their monster army to the server that houses the Source: a virus with plans to destroy Minecraft and all the digital lives on its servers before escaping once and for all into the real world. Only Gameknight999, the user-that-is-not-a-user, and his small army of NPCs can stop them. But the monster horde is growing bigger by the day, as if they are being helped by an unknown someone...or something.

To earn his pardon and avoid becoming yet another necromancer statistic, Timmy has to work for the Council. From bandit uprisings to giant sea serpents and ogre invasions, Timmy and the others are there to save the day - sort of. When the dragon egg their resident pyromaniac stole hatches to reveal the world’s cuddliest harbinger of death, Timmy and the others are dragged into a pair of diabolically dangerous missions. Breaking out of one of the world’s most secure prisons was hard enough. Now, they have to break back in to rescue a vampire.

After being killed by a high-velocity tree-hug, Arlo is transported to a new world where those brave and talented enough to conquer ancient Delves are rewarded with incredible power and abilities. Unfortunately for Arlo, there is no tutorial. He is immediately forced to tackle a Delve set to the highest difficulty with a party of adventurers who are not only strangers to him, but strangers to each other as well.

To earn a pardon and avoid prison or execution, Timmy, Grand Necromancer and Lord of Black Tower Castle, has been completing missions for the Council with the help of an elite team of truly heroic individuals. There’s Katie, his apprentice. She’s brilliant, cunning, and maniacally devious. She’s also 10 years old, extremely adorable, and loves billowy robes and the color pink. There’s Avraniel, the pyromaniac elf who is responsible for more property damage than anyone in Everton’s history (including dragons, natural disasters, and demon gods).

Things are heating up in Pigsend, starting with mysterious magical events around the summer solstice and continuing through the annual Pigsend Harvest Festival. Get the final four books in the Weary Dragon Inn Series, including Zealots and Zeniths, Campaigns and Curses, Perils and Potions, and Royals and Ruses in a convenient bundle.

Stranded on the exceptionally dangerous, and possibly haunted, Beach of the Broken Heart, Hiccup must face UG the Uglithug and complete the impossible task -- or die trying. Along the way, he'll have to battle Berserks, dodge Scarers, and save Fishlegs from being fed to the Beast, all while being hunted down by an old enemy with a dark secret about the mysterious Lost Throne. With Toothless by his side, and time to stage his rescue running out, what's a Hero to do?

It's Hiccup's birthday, but that's not going to keep him from getting into trouble. To save his dragon, Toothless, from being banished, Hiccup must sneak into the Meathead Public Library and steal the Viking's most sacred book. But the Vikings see books as a dangerous influence, and keep them locked up and under heavy guard. To save his friend, Hiccup must brave the Hairy Scary Librarian and his dreadful army of Meathead Warriors and face off against the formidable Driller-Dragons.

Bestselling author Candace Ayers brings you SHORT "lunchtime quickie" reads—condensed romances intended to be read in under 2 hours! Dragon scales and bridal veils—billionaire shifters find their fiery mates! In the high-powered world of Los Angeles, my kind reigns supreme. From the shadows, that is. Power? Check. Wealth? Check. Heirs? Here’s where things get tricky.BfB is my shot at passing on my legacy. And my fortune. With an arranged marriage, I can check the last box on my list. Our union, of course, will be impersonal and unemotional. But when my eyes meet hers, something ...

Book 12 is the epic finale to the New York Times best-selling How to Train Your Dragon series! The Doomsday of Yule has arrived, and the future of dragonkind lies in the hands of one boy with nothing to show but everything to fight for. Hiccup's quest is clear...but can he end the rebellion? Can he prove himself to be king? Can he save the dragons? The stakes have never been higher, as the very fate of the Viking world hangs in the balance!

Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, everyone's favorite reluctant Viking hero, has three months, five days and six hours to discover America, get back to Berk, save his father, battle Polarserpents, and win the annual Inter-Tribal Friendly Swimming Race. Can he do it?

In the months since Draka woke up as a dragon in another world, much has changed. She's formed friendships, built alliances, navigated the magic and politics of her new home, and discovered how to wield some of her more useful draconic abilities. But even as her powers evolve, she finds herself contending with ever more perilous trials.

The Dragon Rebellion has begun, bringing the Vikings' darkest hour upon them. Hiccup has become an outcast, but that won't stop him from going on the most harrowing and important quest of his life. He must find the Dragon's Jewel in order to save his people...but where should he begin?

Freddy Stern, a twenty-one-year-old cashier, has lived a plain, albeit harsh life. Having been orphaned—twice—he's spent the last ten years working and staying out of trouble. His only aspiration is to save enough money to become an archhuman. His dream gets the jump on him when he barely survives a near-death encounter and finds himself in possession of 1% Lifesteal, a bizarre talent with numerous contradictions and just as many uses.

In the town of Squashbuckle, just about anything can happen, and when Henry Penwhistle draws a mighty Chalk Dragon on his door, the dragon does what Henry least expects - it runs away. Now Henry's art is out in the world for everyone to see, and it's causing trouble for him and his schoolmates Oscar and Jade. If they don't stop it, the entire town could be doomed! To vanquish the threat of a rampaging Chalk Dragon, Sir Henry Penwhistle, Knight of La Muncha Elementary School, is going to have to do more than just catch his art - he's going to have to let his imagination run wild.

Todo el mundo sabe que solo hay una cosa que a los dragones les gusta más que las fiestas y los tacos y es una fiesta de tacos. Pero hay algunos detalles que hay que tener en cuenta si das una fiesta de tacos: a los dragones les encantan los tacos de pollo, los de carne, los tacos gigantes y los pequeñitos. Para decidir cuántos tacos vas a necesitar para la fiesta, llena un barco de tacos y esa será la cantidad adecuada. Pero ten muy presente que no debe haber ninguna salsa picante, porque, si no, ¡la cosa se pone verdaderamente en llamas!

Daystar never thought he'd be walking through the Enchanted Forest with a magic sword, a fire-witch, and a baby dragon. He never dreamed his mother, Cimorene, would tell him to leave their home and not to return until his task was complete. Or that he alone held the power to release King Mendanbar and the Enchanted Forest from the wizards' evil spell. He doesn't even know who King Mendanbar is. But Daystar learns quickly, and that's good, because he's about to encounter magic and wizards and dragons - quite a deadly combination.

With Garralosh defeated and the Colony secured, Anthony has triumphed over the wave. What now for our intrepid adventurer? In the Dungeon, there’s only one place to go: down.

Slain by the Gods and reborn as a Dungeon Core, Ace becomes the only dungeon in the world able to resurrect adventurers after killing them and stealing their power. Centered in the battlefield between the six elemental factions, Ace begins his ascension through the ranks of advancement in tandem with the first human to enter his domain. Dungeons of the six factions live symbiotically with humans, each growing in power from interacting with the other, however that quest for power has left the human world in a state of constant conflict— a conflict made exponentially worse by the recent ...