Funny Christmas

The Quilting Fairy Isn’t Coming: Confessions of a Quilter’s Studio is a humorous and heartfelt celebration of the beautiful chaos that resides inside every quilter’s creative space. Packed with laugh-out-loud observations, real-life stitching struggles, and tender moments of fabric-fueled joy, this book is your permission slip to embrace the mess, cherish the quirks, and love every wobbly seam. From ruler obsessions and midnight stitch marathons to UFO guilt and bobbin drama, these witty chapters offer the perfect blend of sass, truth, and thready wisdom. Whether you're a seasoned ...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! It’s December 21 and the first night of the celebration of Yule! Much to Lorcan’s feigned irritation, Wanda is in the midst of throwing a Yule celebratory party at one of his numerous residences within Haven Hollow. But, yuletide exaltation is hardly on his mind. The only thing Lorcan can think about, other than the long and smooth line of Wanda’s delicate neck, is his Yule gift still awaiting her. But, as with most things involving the vampire and the Blood Witch, not ...

She nips to modern-day London for a spot of Christmas shopping.... ...and ends up in 1958. Scarlett visits London’s Oxford Street to soak up the festive atmosphere, buy gifts, drink coffee and eat pastries. There, she meets Maisie, an elderly homeless woman who regales the tragic tale of how she was imprisoned for a murder she didn't commit. And lost the love of her life. Soon, Scarlett and her hunky husband are in December 1958 to avert a tragedy, armed only with mince pies and Christmas cake. If they fail, Maisie will spend thirty years in prison and miss out on marriage. Don't miss the...

A cop, a pig, & a potty mouthed parrot walk into a bar. A Santa Claus thief, two special friends, pirates on the high seas, treasure hunts, lost dogs, an unruly pot-bellied pig, and a Jersey cow in the wrong place at the wrong time, spell trouble for Seal Island residents this Christmas. It is up to Gertrude, a pot-bellied pig, and her cohort, Peaches, a Jersey cow, to help save Christmas from a Grinch-like Santa Claus thief who decides that Seal Island is the perfect place for his base of operations while Betty & Reggie are out of commission having been kidnapped by smugglers on the high ...

Dr. Georgia Thackery is back at home with her parents after finding a new adjunct position at Bostock College. Everyone is excited for their first family Christmas with nothing to hide. Why? Because Georgia’s daughter, Madison, is now in the know about Sid, their walking, talking family skeleton. But their Christmas cheer is interrupted when the Thackerys' dog, Byron, goes missing on a cold December night. When he’s finally found, he has a femur clutched between his jaws, and Georgia and Madison race to apologize to Sid for letting the dog gnaw on him yet again

What if Mr. Martin had proposed to Harriet in person instead of writing a letter, thus receiving an acceptance rather than a refusal? Thus begins Harriet's Secret... When Mr. Martin visits Harriet one morning and proposes, she joyfully says yes without hesitation. But when she meets with Emma to deliver the happy news, confusion abounds—Emma thinks it's Mr. Elton who has proposed, and upon Harriet's clarification that it was not Mr. Elton but Mr. Martin, Emma assumes that Harriet refused the man—and poor Harriet leads Emma to believe she had refused him! When Mr. Knightley offers his ...

USA Today Bestseller Melinda Curtis delivers another installment of Summer Kisses, an irresistibly funny, fake royal identity, sweet romantic comedy featuring Grandma Dotty. Not any fake date will do… Maggie Summer needs a date to her sister’s wedding, preferably someone who’ll pretend to be madly in love with her, ideally a prince. Why royalty? Because her sister is marrying Maggie’s former fiance. And wonder of wonders…Maggie manages to land a blind date with a prince. If they hit it off, maybe he’ll be her Plus One for Kitty’s wedding this Christmas. But true royalty is ...

'Farting in a lift.... it's wrong on so many levels' A sh*t load of dad jokes that have been compiled and created by Joe King to entertain Dad's (and mums!) on whilst on the toilet. With over 500 jokes, you will love this! A superb gift to those dad's who think they are funny yet actually need some new jokes!

Enjoy another slay-ride with this collection of Christmas horror stories. Creepy Christmas is the second volume in the series of holiday related terror penned by author Toby Bennett. A man who looked down the winding years of his tedious life and realized that he was more appalled by cheap cards and plastic trees than anything that might issue from the stygian depths of Dante’s pit. Join him this year for an alien invasion, an encounter with a yuletide psychopath and a traditional Wight Christmas. Not to mention the Boxing Day bonus. Four stories, a few laughs and one or two scares to ...

Escape the horrors of the festive season with this collection of zany and horrific tales. Thrill to the cries of bad children facing Krampus. Laugh along with Dr. Giggles holiday entertainer and quail before Frosty the incensed snowman. All with a healthy dose of idol worship, humour and irreverence… get this Christmas Cult Classic now!

A posh holiday party. The highest stakes. And more than a little danger.... A secretive philanthropist books Betty Snickerdoodle's brand new inn for her elite, ultra-private holiday poker tournament. With the hefty fee she's offering, it seems like Christmas has come a few days early--especially since the inn's not even open yet! But Bea Sickles--the savvy, 70-something ex-poker pro turned author behind Betty Snickerdoodle--smells trouble. "Might be a special gift from Santa," Bea says. "Or we might be getting a scam in our stocking." The set-up is undeniably odd. And as the tycoons settle ...

‘A masterpiece. It’s like Jim Thompson and Irvine Welsh got together to write a Tony Black story’ BARRY GRAHAM When young Scots carpenter Joe is visited by the Wing Wizard Davie Cooper one Christmas Eve he gets the shock of his life—his partner is to give birth to a king that very night. Setting off through their scheme—guided only by an unusual, yet familiar, constellation—Joe and Mary-doll soon discover their shared passion for the opposing ends of the Scottish football terraces unites them in ways they could never have imagined. The Holy Father is a novelette delving into the...

When Elizabeth Chatham met her new boss, department-store owner Nicholas Lancaster, she completely fell for him. But she never imagined that after a whirlwind courtship, Nick would be on bended knee proposing to her. It was the stuff of a Christmas fairy tale... Then Nick and Elizabeth decided to hold their wedding in Elizabeth's hometown of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and their dream of an idyllic Christmas wedding began to turn into a disaster. Elizabeth's family wanted a lively, down-home, country-style party with all their friends and relatives. Nick's family, on the other hand, pushed for...

This book was previously published as “The Christmas Swap” by Reba Bale. This year they’ll give each other a special Christmas gift…someone else! Nancy and James have been married for ten years, and things have gotten stale. Dull. Boring. Until the morning they finally open up to each other about their fantasies and realize that neither one of them is as vanilla as they assumed. The couple decides to dip their toes into the swingers lifestyle with an attractive couple who have offered to play with them in the past and things quickly get hot. As they swap partners and engage in sexy ...

Swipe Right for Disaster (A Holiday Novella) Lark Finley isn't exactly feeling the holiday spirit when her best friend signs her up for the Mistletoe Match Dating App—a Christmas-themed matchmaking service with one goal: find your perfect match before Christmas Day. But after a series of disastrous dates, Lark is ready to give up on love, the app, and maybe even Christmas altogether. The one bright spot in her holiday chaos? Liam, the sexy, easygoing bartender who’s been quietly watching her dating disasters unfold from the sidelines. As Christmas approaches and the pressure to find “...

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

Is it possible to fall in love in one evening with a complete stranger? Ian Parker is about to find out. Ian is the proprietor of a successful local coffee house, in a suburb of Detroit. He wasn't expecting to fall head over heels in love with the beautiful, petite blonde that graced his presence, the weekend before Christmas, but he did. And how! When Nixie Davenport drove up to The Coffee Cabin on a Friday night, in a stolen car, she had no idea what kind of evening she was in for. The Coffee Cabin picks up where Alley Girl left off, only now Dalen Reese is part owner of The Coffee Cabin,...

Sometimes the future needs a little help from the past... They fell in love at Christmas. Time to take the next step. Eliza Jones and Tom Piper are destined to be together. Last year, thanks to fate, a snowed in train, and a little Christmas magic, they fell in love. A year has passed, long enough for their love and their careers to grow. Unfortunately, Pine Ridge is still no closer to LA than it was last year. Tom's tree farm in Pine Ridge isn't portable. Not to mention, he's getting used to being mayor, and has the opportunity to make lasting positive changes for Pine Ridge. Likewise, ...

Spark the dragon wants to sleep in his nice warm cave on Christmas Eve and wait for Santa to fill his stocking with coal. He does not want to get out in the dark, in a blizzard, but one little elf is VERY persuasive.

When Lisa Marsh reluctantly agrees to serve Thanksgiving dinner at the local community center, she’s not prepared for the chaos that ensues. Between the lively teenagers, fiercely independent veterans, eccentric seniors, and one particularly gruff homeless man named Pete, the evening spirals into a disaster. But when her best friend dares her to do more, Lisa accepts the challenge: she’s going to help Pete turn his life around—whether he likes it or not. Her plan? Simple: clean him up (starting with a shave), find him a job, and make him respectable. Pete, however, has no interest in ...