Funny Christmas

Christmas is fast approaching at the new Hope Farm and Bev has convinced a reluctant Molly to organise an open day to raise some much needed funds ahead of the New Year. Their nativity tableau has everything they need: anti-social sheep, alpacas munching the Baby Jesus doll and a hairdresser dressed up as Santa Claus. But on Hope Farm it's going to take more than mulled wine and Christmas lights to get everyone in the festive spirit.

🎄✨ A Very Merry Krampus Christmas ✨🎄 Love, magic, and a dash of holiday mischief! 🌟 When Merry North moves to Tannenbaum Falls to save her grandmother’s cozy Christmas bakery, romance is the last thing on her list. But when the mysteriously dashing Klaus Krampus arrives next door, her quiet life takes a festive twist. Little does she know, Klaus is no ordinary man – he’s the last of an ancient line of Christmas spirits. By day, he’s a brooding artisan with a talent for carving intricate toys; by night, he brings mischievous children back into line. As they team up to ...

The Riptide is professional baseball’s newest team. It’s also the worst. The players are washed up, lazy, and should have retired a long time ago. Tommy is the team’s biggest fan. He goes to every home game, watches the away games on TV, and even blogs about the Riptide. He knows everything there is know about baseball but is the worst player in his local Little League. So how did he end up on baseball’s biggest stage? Will Panzell is the owner of the team. He’s also completely nuts. He lies, cheats, and schemes to sell tickets to Riptide games. His latest stunt is so bananas it ...

Survive Christmas woe with a Yuletide tsunami of shockingly humourous tales from depraved escapees Toby Bennett and Benjamin Knox - four fresh stories and a Christmas poem all wrapped up with a blood-soaked bow.

The Avery Diary: CHRISTMAS CHAOS BEGINS! A Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12! Christmas was supposed to be peaceful, but no one told my family that. Between glitter snow, Carl’s ninja elf costume, and a burnt turkey that could’ve been used as a doorstop, I’m just trying to survive. The Christmas musical? A total mess. The snowball fight? Complete chaos. And let’s not even talk about the marshmallow-covered tree. But somehow, even with all the craziness, my family made it fun. Maybe next year will be easier... but with a surprise trip to Hawaii on the way, I have a feeling the madness is ...

A cop, a pig, & a potty mouthed parrot walk into a bar. A Santa Claus thief, two special friends, pirates on the high seas, treasure hunts, lost dogs, an unruly pot-bellied pig, and a Jersey cow in the wrong place at the wrong time, spell trouble for Seal Island residents this Christmas. It is up to Gertrude, a pot-bellied pig, and her cohort, Peaches, a Jersey cow, to help save Christmas from a Grinch-like Santa Claus thief who decides that Seal Island is the perfect place for his base of operations while Betty & Reggie are out of commission having been kidnapped by smugglers on the high ...

Book Description From the ingenious mind of modern AI comes a side-splitting, over-the-top cozy romance that skewers every festive cliché with razor-sharp satire. In Tiny Ego, Big Christmas (which we wanted to call Lord, Grant Me the Confidence of a Mediocre White Man), a diminutive, bombastically self-assured real estate heir—Chase Farnsworth IV—arrives in the enchanting town of Peppermint Falls. With the swagger of a mini monarch and the bravado of a reality TV titan, Chase plans to transform this quaint, candy-cane–adorned haven into a luxury resort spectacle. His grandiose vision...

What if Mr. Martin had proposed to Harriet in person instead of writing a letter, thus receiving an acceptance rather than a refusal? Thus begins Harriet's Secret... When Mr. Martin visits Harriet one morning and proposes, she joyfully says yes without hesitation. But when she meets with Emma to deliver the happy news, confusion abounds—Emma thinks it's Mr. Elton who has proposed, and upon Harriet's clarification that it was not Mr. Elton but Mr. Martin, Emma assumes that Harriet refused the man—and poor Harriet leads Emma to believe she had refused him! When Mr. Knightley offers his ...

Demi Holly is home for Christmas. . . reluctantly Drama teacher Demi's dreams of being waited on all Christmas by her mum and dad are becoming less likely by the second. Thrust into helping with the annual yarn bombing event, in memory of her late aunt, she’s torn between family obligations, sister rivalry and more importantly sexting her gorgeous boss in Edinburgh. But she won’t be a martyr. Entangled in a whirlwind of unexpected events, Demi finds herself playing a game of truths, rescuing a man from the top of a hill and dressing up as an elf – more than once. Full of twists, ...

An Aussie ex, a hairless cat, and a live TV audition. What could go wrong? One audition stands between me and my dream job with Channel Foodie. An audition that must go off without a hitch. Also up for the job is my work nemesis Patty. One will claim victory; the other will wallow in woe, and trust me—I’ve wallowed in enough woe since my breakup with Aussie chef Jude Sting. Patty’s corporate daddy gives her an edge, but my superior experience should score me the win. So long as I don’t panic under pressure. Which I do. A lot. To add to that pressure, I’m forced to make last-minute...

‘A masterpiece. It’s like Jim Thompson and Irvine Welsh got together to write a Tony Black story’ BARRY GRAHAM When young Scots carpenter Joe is visited by the Wing Wizard Davie Cooper one Christmas Eve he gets the shock of his life—his partner is to give birth to a king that very night. Setting off through their scheme—guided only by an unusual, yet familiar, constellation—Joe and Mary-doll soon discover their shared passion for the opposing ends of the Scottish football terraces unites them in ways they could never have imagined. The Holy Father is a novelette delving into the...

Inspector Tuffle here, Scotland Yard. Speaking with the retiree seated before me in her Florida home. I have knowledge of a Christmas situation from 1964. Been keeping an envelope in my coat pocket while interrogating Ms. Helen Spencer on her 1960s experiences. It’s time to explore what happened. What exactly was Ms Spencer doing leading up to the Beatles Christmas shows of 1964? Who was the masked man? And why has she offered no information on it? All of London was scared, however she remains tight-lipped. A few things are certain: she was there, she worked with the Beatles… and no one...

Having gotten home from college a complete failure, I was looking forward to a Christmas tradition that my grandmother had started decades ago. Just to be told that her famous desert would not be making it to the table this year, all because of a wine shortage. I singlehandedly took it upon myself to get the wine that was needed, quickly finding out that I may have gotten in over my head. Discovering myself along the way, I'll always remember the Christmas that changed my life.

Sometimes the future needs a little help from the past... They fell in love at Christmas. Time to take the next step. Eliza Jones and Tom Piper are destined to be together. Last year, thanks to fate, a snowed in train, and a little Christmas magic, they fell in love. A year has passed, long enough for their love and their careers to grow. Unfortunately, Pine Ridge is still no closer to LA than it was last year. Tom's tree farm in Pine Ridge isn't portable. Not to mention, he's getting used to being mayor, and has the opportunity to make lasting positive changes for Pine Ridge. Likewise, ...

Krampus is on the move. Santa needs backup. And Hel’s gates are waiting. Children are vanishing, snatched from their beds by Krampus, the monstrous spirit of Yuletide punishment. But this time, the stakes are bigger than just holiday mischief—Krampus is enacting a sinister plan, and if Ironspell and Vetr don’t stop him, Christmas might never be the same. When Santa himself makes an unscheduled stop to ask for their help, Ironspell and his Jotun partner must journey into Hel, navigating the underworld’s treacherous paths to gain entrance to Krampus’ stronghold. But nothing in Hel ...

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

Tristan Briggs is the reason Santa has a naughty list. He’s also my only hope for surviving the holidays. All I want for Christmas is to stay alive. Alone and on the run, I thought I was safe. Until my new life goes up in flames. Literally. Now old secrets are back to haunt me, and there’s no place left to hide. Tall, dark, and deadly, Tristan is everything I’m running from. He’s a hitman on the hunt for revenge. And I’m about to beg him to stuff my stocking. Can Tristan put the ghosts of my past to rest? Or am I doomed to an awful Christmas present?

A funny, fast paced, feel-good comedy keeping you guessing to the end. When Ellie and Ben strike up a friendship and decide to travel to the Lake District together in a campervan called Brienne neither of them mentions that they are escaping from their pasts. What follows is a fast-paced farcical adventure with hair raising encounters as Ellie and Ben, try and keep one step ahead of their pursuers. This hilarious romp has laughs, tears, nail-biting suspense and romance. Camping on the Run is written in our usual light-hearted, tongue in cheek, heart-warming, feel good style. We hope you ...

Melissa Aspen dreams of owning a charming Bed and Breakfast, and when she steps into a breathtaking Victorian house up for auction, it feels like destiny. But her excitement is dashed when Harry Whittaker, a handsome yet infuriating businessman, enters the picture with his own plans for the property. When both submit identical bids, the owner proposes an unheard of solution: a Christmas Day Cook-Off in her home to decide the winner. Forced to work together through a whirlwind of festive projects, including preparing their Christmas Day dinners, Melissa and Harry clash, collaborate, and ...

Hello, I’m Star. I’m smart, I’m green, and I love nothing more than collecting beautiful objects and hiding them in my secret lair. Unfortunately, my family of two-legs doesn’t always appreciate my hobby. Well, they don’t understand the art of collecting like I do, do they!? Just imagine, I take one little ornament from the Christmas tree and the mum two-legs says, “Star! You naughty cat!” Hey, do they really expect me to leave all the purrfect shiny thingies on the tree? Ok, ok, I admit. I could try leaving them alone. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? ...