Funny Christmas

If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.

A simple night on the town with Angie Mandarich is all Hal Bailey wants. Dinner and a movie. Hitchcock followed by the Forest City. A classy night with a classy lady. Hal doesn't know he's about to meet the nuttiest collection of con men, swindlers, safecrackers and hustlers this side of the Cuyahoga River. Their screwball plans make this a New Years for Hal to remember. Fans of Westlake, Leonard, and George V. Higgins will enjoy the pace and tone of this book's pitch-perfect dialogue. Cool, funny, sympathetic and gritty. A zany taste of Cleveland in the 80s.

Mrs. Sookie Poole of Point Clear, Alabama, has just married off the last of her daughters and is looking forward to relaxing and perhaps traveling with her husband, Earle. The only thing left to contend with is her mother, the formidable Lenore Simmons Krackenberry. Lenore may be a lot of fun for other people, but is, for the most part, an overbearing presence for her daughter. Then one day, quite by accident, Sookie discovers a secret about her mother's past that knocks her for a loop and suddenly calls into question everything she ever thought she knew about herself, her family, and her future.

Teaching Kids the Importance of Sleep * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At night when most kids were dozing so deep, Michael could never quite manage to sleep. His mother would read him one book, or two, His father would sing ‘till his face turned blue, All-day Michael ran and played and kicked ball, But then he’d just shrug: “I’m not tired at all.” Real-life issue/Imaginary Tale - Great Lesson! I learned about this cute little rhyming book on FB, and I decided to download it using the kindle app on my phone, and I'm glad that I did. What a fun book to cozy up with a child for a ...

It’s Christmas Eve in New Chapel, Indiana. But this night will be anything but silent in a brand new Flower Shop Mystery Novella from New York Times bestselling author of Moss Hysteria and Yews With Caution. After being hired to deliver poinsettias to Churchill’s department store in downtown New Chapel, feisty flower shop owner Abby Knight finds herself mixed up in the disappearance of everyone’s favorite Santa Claus, Mr. Churchill himself. Promising Churchill’s daughter that the legendary Christmas Eve celebration will not go on without her father, Abby must recruit her whole staff...

When Elizabeth Chatham met her new boss, department-store owner Nicholas Lancaster, she completely fell for him. But she never imagined that after a whirlwind courtship, Nick would be on bended knee proposing to her. It was the stuff of a Christmas fairy tale... Then Nick and Elizabeth decided to hold their wedding in Elizabeth's hometown of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and their dream of an idyllic Christmas wedding began to turn into a disaster. Elizabeth's family wanted a lively, down-home, country-style party with all their friends and relatives. Nick's family, on the other hand, pushed for...

After being together for 10 years, Sylvie and Dan have all the trimmings of a happy life and marriage; they have a comfortable home, fulfilling jobs, and beautiful twin girls and communicate so seamlessly, they finish each other's sentences. However, a trip to the doctor projects they will live another 68 years together, and panic sets in. They never expected "until death do us part" to mean seven decades. In the name of marriage survival, they quickly concoct a plan to keep their relationship fresh and exciting.

Teach your child patience !!! "You forgot the mail?!?!" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. The forest monsters woke up & there was a sign on the tree. They had been invited to the Monster King’s birthday party. Everyone would ...

An astronomer, an astrologer, and a cult leader walk into a hotel… And the next thing you know, everyone is a murder suspect— even the hotel owner’s dog. Join Arizona rural hotel owner Eve as she tries to make sense of a New Year’s Eve cliffside stargazing campout gone wrong. The new year begins with the mysterious disappearance of not one, but two of Eve’s guests. When one is found in bizarre circumstances, it creates more questions than answers and fuels the flame of confusion. When the other missing guest is found dead, the uncertain cause of events requires the assistance of ...

I'm Kat Smith, former Secret Service, current postmaster, and awkward private eye in Ohia, Maui. I'm currently searching for a valuable, historical Hawaiian Christmas ornament gone missing, and I’m the six-foot-something center of controversy as our cozy small-town island mystery swirls with gossip, accusations, old feuds, and new friendships. I have my hot pilot boyfriend Mr. K, the Red Hat Society, and my beloved one-eared cat Tiki on the case—but I’m going to need all the help I can get to find the Queen's Ornament, or the fundraiser organized by my very own Aunt Fae will be a bust...

A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar.... They’re all Owen Brodie. It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour.

"Mistletoe Detour," the latest entry in the Scottish Billionaire series by M. S. Parker, sends readers off on a hilarious, heartwarming holiday road trip. Blaze Gracen, a renowned Johns Hopkins professor, gears up for a festive family shindig in sunny San Ramon. However, Mother Nature has other ideas, and a surprise winter storm leaves his flight stranded in not-so-tropical Chicago. Enter Trisha Easton, a quick-witted New Yorker with a suitcase full of sass and a knack for turning lemons into spiked lemonade. Also stranded in Chicago, she opts for a daring, map-defying drive across the ...

Fantasy, mystery, and adventure collide in this exciting story that will leave you believing in the magic of Christmas! The perfect book for kids ages 8 to 12 this holiday season. Leo spends his time drinking hot cocoa, inventing new toys, and celebrating Christmas––but he is no ordinary elf! Leo is Santa’s guardian and sworn protector of the North Pole. Leo's life is pretty great, until the day Santa Claus tells him the world’s Christmas Spirit is in danger. With Christmas just around the corner, Santa Claus sends Leo on a mission to find the evil Sorrow King, a powerful wizard who...

Escape the horrors of the festive season with this collection of zany and horrific tales. Thrill to the cries of bad children facing Krampus. Laugh along with Dr. Giggles holiday entertainer and quail before Frosty the incensed snowman. All with a healthy dose of idol worship, humour and irreverence… get this Christmas Cult Classic now!

She nips to modern-day London for a spot of Christmas shopping.... ...and ends up in 1958. Scarlett visits London’s Oxford Street to soak up the festive atmosphere, buy gifts, drink coffee and eat pastries. There, she meets Maisie, an elderly homeless woman who regales the tragic tale of how she was imprisoned for a murder she didn't commit. And lost the love of her life. Soon, Scarlett and her hunky husband are in December 1958 to avert a tragedy, armed only with mince pies and Christmas cake. If they fail, Maisie will spend thirty years in prison and miss out on marriage. Don't miss the...

Tara Gallagher is knackered. She used to dream of being Beyoncé but suddenly she’s 36—with three kids, a loving husband, a very boring job—and instead of headlining Coachella, she’s in her pyjamas on a Friday night, watching cheesy TV. It’s time for a mommy makeover. She’s going to show her teenage daughter she’s still cool. She’s going to show her husband she’s still an absolute ride. She’s going to show her colleagues she’s still a Boss Bish.

Kids who love video games, especially Minecraft, will love the hilarious ‘Game on Boys’ series. Designed to appeal to the heart of any boy or girl, with its captivating story lines, whacky illustrations and side-splitting humor, as well as lots of awesome gaming content. They won’t want to put it down. Ryan James is crazy about video games and obsessed with Minecraft. Sometimes he really wishes he could live in a world like Minecraft instead of with his boring family who do boring things ALL THE TIME! In a moment of anger over his family's dreary holiday plans, Ryan wishes a little ...

Is it possible to fall in love in one evening with a complete stranger? Ian Parker is about to find out. Ian is the proprietor of a successful local coffee house, in a suburb of Detroit. He wasn't expecting to fall head over heels in love with the beautiful, petite blonde that graced his presence, the weekend before Christmas, but he did. And how! When Nixie Davenport drove up to The Coffee Cabin on a Friday night, in a stolen car, she had no idea what kind of evening she was in for. The Coffee Cabin picks up where Alley Girl left off, only now Dalen Reese is part owner of The Coffee Cabin,...

This book was previously published as “The Christmas Swap” by Reba Bale. This year they’ll give each other a special Christmas gift…someone else! Nancy and James have been married for ten years, and things have gotten stale. Dull. Boring. Until the morning they finally open up to each other about their fantasies and realize that neither one of them is as vanilla as they assumed. The couple decides to dip their toes into the swingers lifestyle with an attractive couple who have offered to play with them in the past and things quickly get hot. As they swap partners and engage in sexy ...

Hello, I’m Tippytoes. I’m magical, I’m yellow, and I love nothing more than a good magical spell. Unfortunately, my spells don’t always listen to me. Well, I’m only a fairy in training at the moment, you know?! Just imagine, while helping my fairy teacher, I sneeze a magical snowflake into a tree and the entire room erupts into a snowstorm.” Hey, I couldn’t have known that my teeny tiny sneeze would react to the spell my fairy teacher cast earlier, could I? Ok, ok, I admit. I was admiring the magical Christmas tree. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? ...