Funny Clean

There's no such thing as a second chance. My fears of becoming an old, shut-in cat lady are shelved when I’m invited to go on tour after appearing in a popular singing competition. It sounds like a dream come true until my ex, Warren, shows up unannounced and with horrible timing. Did he have to see me in public, wearing pajama pants and greasy, unwashed hair? Classy. Warren’s gorgeous singing voice and Southern charm are hard to ignore, but I will stay focused, even if it’s the death of me. Easier said than done when one glance from him makes my insides turn to mush. Warren doesn’t...

A Tiffany Black Travel Caper When Tiffany, Rosie and Nanna visit the island of Point Dover, they find a small town full of intrigue and deceit. Nanna insists they investigate the recent murder of a journalist; could Mary-Ann Calhoun have uncovered a dark secret? Was that why she was killed? When local thugs come after them, can the trio stay safe, or will they end up like the journalist? Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and entertaining characters" - lq, ...

When a high-roller requests Tiffany Black as his “lucky” dealer, she doesn't expect the tides of fortune to turn so quickly. She doesn't expect to be asked to leave the high-roller suites almost immediately. Nor does she expect the wealthy casino client to end up murdered. Unfortunately, that's exactly what does happen. Asked to investigate the client’s death by his son, Tiffany discovers that the man had an unpleasant way of doing business: the list of suspects spans the decades, and includes her friend Jack, who’s acting very strangely. Meanwhile “Stoney” shows up with a ...

Tiffany Black is worried and guilt-ridden about her friend Stone - so Nanna convinces her to accept a new, strange case. A diamond thief has been murdered, and his girlfriend and co-conspirator wants Tiffany and Ian to investigate what happened. But when the client has secrets of her own, and the victim was obviously a criminal, how can Tiffany and Ian uncover the truth? Meanwhile, Ian has grand plans of his own...

Blondie's the name and solving cases is my game, but this time I am dog-gone stumped! As excited as I am to enter Lincoln City's Peewee Pet Competition, my friendship with Bray is suffering and mishap is around every corner at the dog show. Dogs slip on the arena, pet costumes are destroyed, and a dog even goes missing! Can I catch who is red-handed or red-pawed before it's too late? Parents and kids are raving about Blondie McGhee, the funny girl detective series for kids 9-12. •“I thought the story was really cute and engaging. Both my nine-year-old daughter and her twelve-year-old ...

🌿 A chilling murder. A town full of secrets. A quiet florist who knows how to spot the deadliest weeds. 🌿 When renowned horticultural queen Agnes Sterling is found dead among her prize orchids, the peaceful village of Oakhaven trembles — and so does Posy Brooks, owner of Pots & Petals. What first seems like a tragic accident quickly wilts into something far more sinister: poison, secrets, and sabotage are rooted deep in the town’s flowerbeds. Armed with nothing but her botanical instincts, a sharp eye for details others miss, and the unlikely help of her talkative parrot, Posy ...

The guy who stole my diary just died... My thoughts are with his family. I tried to write a joke about restraining orders… But this is as close as I could get. My dog loves floating in the ocean. He’s such a good buoy. I just bought an expensive new shrub trimmer… It’s cutting hedge technology! Money’s a little tight right now so I pay my rent with sexual favors. I try and stay on top but sometimes I end up behind. During his wedding, my friend called me the worst best man he has ever seen. I was speechless. You shouldn't say bad things about illiterate people. Feel free to write ...

She owns the old inn he has to tear down... To Ella, the glittering glory of the year's first snow is magical. Like, magic-magical. Proof: there’s a gorgeous stranger in Snowville, and there never are gorgeous strangers in town. Glad to escape her crumbling B&B, having a friendly cup of coffee with Prince Snow is just the break she needs. To real-estate prospector Chris, snow is just snow is just snow. Meeting a local beauty in a coffee shop while he's waiting for the snow to stop? Lucky! Also, just a coincidence. When Chris needs Ella to sell him her inn, she flat out refuses. He's ready...

A marriage of mistake and inconvenience and a woman not interested in cowboys, especially ones that break hearts as easily as breathing. I’m back in my hometown, pregnant and unmarried. More of a pariah than the town felon. How did I end up here? I was supposed to be living big in Las Vegas, not living la vida loco back in Tall Pine, Montana. Rhett followed me from the desert but denies it. Like I’m going to believe he has family here. I'd have to be stupid to believe he loved me enough to elope in Vegas. I'd have to be stupid to even be considering letting him back into my life. I'm ...

Welcome to the Beachfront Bed & Breakfast, where everyone's dying to get a room! Former school teacher Teri McAfee thought she had settled in to her new job at her quirky Aunt Sam's beautiful seaside bed & breakfast, but there's no time to relax, because Archie Gras is here! Funny little Admiral Archibald Falls Island off the coast of Florida is holding its annual festival, and the B&B is packed with wacky guests! Chaos ensues when Teri and Aunt Sam have to wrangle a house full of party animals, clowns, the annoying in-laws of Aunt Sam's best friend-- and a murderer! With the sheriff ready ...

Even though she is older, overweight, and klutzy, Myrtle crushes it as a skill-challenged crime solver. Attending an Artificial Intelligence Conference at the request of the FBI to act as a red herring, she is content to eat and drink her way through the week-long event. That is, until her friend Stanley is kidnapped. To save him, Myrtle must navigate through unfamiliar attentions from world-renowned scientists, double agents, and assassins. Who can she trust? Stay alert, as you follow the shifts and surprises of this twisted whodunit.

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where Santa's serving up murder for Christmas! Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City! Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry townsfolk, but a department store Santa Claus getting murdered outside her door was not what she wanted for Christmas! When a vengeful killer murders the wrong man by mistake, Dani must race to unmask the murderer and protect the true target before anyone else dies! Her landlord, ...

Sun, surf and Seriously Amazing Food – it’s a dream destination for Tiffany, Rosie, Stone and Nanna as they head to an exclusive resort in Hawaii. Unfortunately, their work-cation bliss is shattered when a guest staying in the resort is murdered, and Tiff and Rosie are asked to investigate. But was the intended victim actually someone else, and will the killer strike again? The team must work quickly to prevent another death… Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with ...

Fans of Hallmark movies with quirky characters will enjoy this fun and heartfelt romantic comedy. “Such a fun book! You've got humor, awkward romance, Ecuador, chocolate, revenge, crazy motorcycle rides and nuns!” Goodreads Reviewer, 5 Stars The chocolate wars… Botanist Dr. Aubrey Summer has two goals for her trip to Ecuador – fulfill her bridesmaid duties and confront billionaire Marcos Alfaro about his efforts to steal her work. The wedding is being held at a hotel owned by Marcos and he’s rumored to be a guest. Along the way, Aubrey is distracted by a handsome man named Nino, a...

A Cupcakes-and-Crime Caper When cupcake-loving croupier Tiffany Black investigates the death of a local prankster, she's pleased when she seems to have solved it straight away... "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" One suspect "confesses" to the crime immediately. And then another suspect “confesses” to being the real killer. And then another suspect confesses. And another... and another. Soon Tiffany and Ian find themselves back to square one, unsure of who the real killer is, and why all their suspects are intent on confessing their “guilt”. Meanwhile, Ian joins a ...

I was in the U.S. Air Force from mid-1958 until mid-1962. These little stories are about a few capers and characters I encountered along the way. Suffice it to say that my buddies and I got into some comical situations. I even found some humor in the pain and heartbreak inflicted on me by the sergeants. Except for some amount of exaggeration as to my brilliance, the stories are true.

When The People From Earth offer Ian and Tiffany free cookies, the duo don't expect to get involved in investigating a cult leader’s death. But that’s exactly what happens – and Tiffany and Ian find themselves going undercover as believers in strange meditations and “earth re-tunings”. The People From Earth seem quite harmless, but are the investigators putting themselves in danger by pretending to believe in their “earth re-tuning” nonsense? Meanwhile, Tiffany’s secret admirer might not be what she’d initially expected… Praise for A.R. Winters: "Fans of Stephanie Plum, ...

Widowed with two teenaged kids and a business to run, Rebecca would rather mow through five hundred poodle cuts than think about dating. But when veteran quarterback Matt Johnson shows up to buy a Chihuahua, his irresistible grin rocks her world—until Matt’s ex decides she wants him back and Rebecca’s daughter announces she’s against her mom dating. Rebecca now has a choice—crawl back into her realm of dogs or fight for the powerful love that fills her soul.

I’m fifty, broke, and stranded with Dr. Handsome—talk about a love emergency! Between family drama and my best friend moving away, I need a vacation. Stat. Too bad dream getaways cost money I no longer have. Enter Calvin, aka Dr. Handsome, and his storybook Vermont home. His prescription for R & R is an offer my bruised heart can't refuse. But when a storm hits, stranding us together, even our chemistry won't melt the blizzard of the century.Trapped in a romantic New England cottage with a man who wants to be more than friends? Maybe it’s just what the doctor ordered. The Love Dose is...

Here is the second volume, published due to great demand from readers of the first volume of Philip's Hilarious Jokes. Are you fed up of reading the same old tired jokes? One-liners that bore you to death? Then here is a set of jokes that are fresh and hilarious. We have tried to avoid one-liners and present only substantial jokes that makes one to laugh. They are also good to illustrate a point in public speeches and classroom situations. Here are a few salient points: *** We have tried to select jokes that are mostly uncommon *** We have evaluated each joke by narrating it to our friends ...