Funny Clean

Brainfreeze's Would You Rather Book for Kids is packed full of challenging, mind boggling questions that you and your family can enjoy. The challenge is simple: You must choose from one of two answers to each question and decide which you'd rather.

MISS ELIZA'S GENTLEMAN CALLER is a clean, sweet, wholesome Regency romance set in London following the close of the Napoleonic war. Young and innocent, Miss Eliza Foxburn is alarmed when her widower father begins courting a nineteen-year-old young lady whose father is in trade! Eliza believes the tendre is making her father look like an old fool! What better way to show him how ridiculous he looks than by encouraging a much older gentleman to come calling on her! At thirty-eight, the dashing General March Huntley is hardly over the hill. Back in London after a long military campaign, he's ...

Now everyone’s stuck… In the aftermath of a foiled invasion, the troubled hub of a thousand worlds has become isolated. Someone broke the interplanetary elevator, and no one knows how to fix it, not even Jeff Abel, the Galactic Commons newest citizen. But mankind’s first ambassador to another world has other problems. Two thousand extraterrestrials are stranded back on Earth. Jordan, the only other human in the alien city, isn’t returning his calls. And Irving the Grey, the mastermind behind the city’s woes, has escaped. It has begun to dawn on Jeff that getting a job with ...

Do you believe in magic potions? Neither does Alexandra. When Alex and her BFF concoct a special formula for their chemistry class, they stumble on some highly unusual results. But now, Alex finds herself falling for Mason Miller, her brother's best friend and the bane of her existence. Theories and hypotheses work great in the lab. But the question Alex needs to answer is much less scientific . . . Can a potion turn enemies into starry-eyed lovers or is magic something you make?

Emma spends her days working her magic into beautiful quilts for newlyweds and newborns. She also works protection and love spells into knitted hats, sweaters, and other items she sells in her boutique fabric and yarn store. Coming from a long line of stitch witches, she’s supposed to be love and light all the time. And she usually is… until Gavin swaggers by her front pane glass windows. The owner of the sports bar next door makes her blood boil to the point she’s done some things she’s not exactly proud of. Plus her ancestor witches might throw a little backlash her way if she ...

The Bennet Sisters: taking fate for a wild spin In this modern collision with Pride and Prejudice, college freshman Liz Bennet refuses to let her name—or Jane Austen—define her. Even though she’s one of five teenage sisters named after the Bennet sisters in The Book, as Liz not-so-fondly calls it, she can’t afford to let her life parallel The Book in any way. Period. Liz has big plans for her future, and they don't mesh with the life laid out for a fictional young woman 200 years ago. When Charlie Bingham and Alex Darcy arrive in Liz’s Minnesota town, her whole world flips upside ...

The invitation to bring humanity into the galactic community of intelligent species was going horribly wrong. A trail of dead aliens seem to follow Jeff Abel's every step, each envoy and ambassador meeting an untimely end. Is Jeff the hapless victim of some sinister plan, or is he the galaxy's scourge that needs to be stopped? Is humanity's invitation about to be canceled? A science fiction adventure novel, A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth tells the story of a reclusive ex-computer programmer turned pot-washer who is the unwitting central figure of a plot to keep humanity from ever ...

Hundreds of clean jokes for you, your family, and your kids.

Anna Yang needs a change. After losing her best friend in Vegas, Anna needs to find a place to heal. So, she takes a new job on Resort Island. Resort Island, a small island off of sunny Singapore, recently converted into a luxurious resort island, is supposed to have everything Anna needs. Fun. Happy faces. Uplifting environment. Safe. But just as she is about to cross the lobby, something drops right in front of her. Something large. Something … It can’t be a body … can it? Perhaps Vegas isn’t the problem. Perhaps Anna is …

Trouble seems to follow Penny Preston wherever she goes, but as usual when life gives her lemons, she makes lemon bars. Her trusty sidekick, Linda, has convinced her they need their Private Investigators licenses. The only problem is she can’t figure out how to tell the overprotective Deputy Hanson, now that they are dating, that she’s going all in on this mystery business.Penny’s new adventure takes a back seat when the local baker, Violet, turns up missing. With the baker’s ex-fiancé mysteriously returning to town it seems like the police may have a viable suspect, that is until ...

When Carolina Cunningham’s perfect life in retirement at the Villas begins to feel less than perfect, she realizes something is missing in her life. Even though she finds enjoyment reading her Mrs. Craycraft Super Agent books, she wants something more. When she decides what is missing in her life is adventure, excitement, and romance, she convinces two bridge-playing friends to take a Caribbean cruise onboard The Emerald Dream. During the cruise, the women cross paths with a stowaway, a hunky spy, a smuggling ring, assassins, and kidnappers. As their fears are brushed aside by authorities...

When a beautiful detective rolls into town with superior sleuthing skills, Luke and Bandit might just be out of a job. A charming baker-detective moves to Crystal Falls and wins over the town with her pastries, crime solving skills, and cuddly cat. But when a string of burglaries confound the police, Luke and Bandit must scramble to out-sleuth the new investigator before she takes over as the town detective. The burglaries take a deadly turn, and Luke’s telepathic link with his dog Bandit is more vital than ever to sniff out the criminal. The suspect list grows as Luke works from the ...

She’s the new nanny to her own triplets—surprise! Although dancer Robin Lindstrom was an egg donor eight years ago, she never knew if any children resulted. Now, out of work, she takes a job as nanny for stern widower Flint Harris. His mischievous triplets have driven away all the other nannies, but not her. The precocious kids have snooped and found out that Robin’s their biological mother—plus, they like her. That’s why they maneuvered their dad into hiring her. Unaware of the trio’s plotting, Robin and Flint fall in love, but they’re complete opposites. It’s going to take...

Wren Sterling has a problem. Her charming, arrogant ex is getting married, and the thought of him seeing her dateless at the wedding is giving her hives. Enter Operation Pretend Boyfriend: a desperate plan to hire an actor to play the role of her doting, successful new beau. Ronan Hayes is perfect for the part. Handsome, charming, and with a knack for making grandmothers swoon, he’s ready to give Wren’s ex a serious case of regret. But as Wren and Ronan navigate disastrous dance lessons, competitive croquet matches, and a runaway swan with a vendetta against designer suits, their ...

A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune... it's a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk. Baker's Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet.

Will a mixture of pranks, revenge, and a global pandemic explode in danger or ignite hilarious, unexpected results? Marty Golden wishes this prequel novella was his superhero origin story but alas, he’s merely a mild-mannered Silicon Valley geek whose skills of self-delusion, daydreaming, and attention to detail are put to the ultimate challenge—entertaining his nieces. See Marty before he becomes the super-sleuthing, crime-busting hero of the Silicon Valley Mystery series. In this short read, you’ll meet the lovable hero, an amateur sleuth who constantly frustrates and astounds ...

Arlie Biggar is back in Alaska with his new family. Life is nice and boring ... until his pregnant wife is kidnapped! Copycat terrorists have recruited local thugs to help them steal guns from the sporting goods store. When his wife gets in their way, will Arlie be able to get her back or will a ringer come in and save the day? Clean action adventure with a smattering of humor.

BOOMERS BOOK! No Politics, No Sex, No Drugs, No Tech worship, No gadgets, No whining! Just a great story about two young boys who go fishing and stumble onto an unsolved murder! They tell the story in the way that only young boys can. Hilarious!

Jennifer and Sam are going on their honeymoon! Sounds wonderful, except that Jennifer has no idea where Sam is taking her. It's the middle of winter, so it has to be someplace warm with plenty of sand and sun, right? Imagine her surprise when she finds herself in the middle of a snowstorm in Pennsylvania in what's advertised as a "haunted" mansion for a murder mystery weekend. She's intrigued, especially by the amazing special effects created by the inn's owner, Rex Ferris. But things seldom go smoothly for Jennifer, and when a fellow diner face plants into her coconut cream pie and dies ...

With an updated look and fresh jokes for a new millennia, this ridiculous audiobook is sure to keep you and your family's eyes in a constant state of perma-roll, complete with all the side splitting moans and groans you've come to love! But buyer beware, once he gets a hold of this cache of absolute comical ammunition, you may never hear the end of them!