Funny Fiction Fantasy

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

Math-genius mercenary Cas Russell has decided to Fight Crime(tm). After all, with her extraordinary mathematical ability, she can neuter bombs or out-shoot an army. And the recent outbreak of violence in the world’s cities is Cas’s fault—she’s the one who crushed the organization of telepaths keeping the world’s worst offenders under control. But Cas’s own power also has a history, one she can’t remember—or control.

On a desperate journey to recover her sister's lost soul, Valkyrie Cain goes up against the High Sanctuary itself, and there's nothing Skulduggery Pleasant can do to stop her.

Merrick's life is a wild goose chase. Literally. 'It's that story of an immortal half-man, half-barnacle goose you know you've been waiting for.' Merrick is on his way to Islay in Scotland to join 35,000 fellow barnacle geese at their annual gathering. Delayed by a sudden fall from the sky, he sustains his first wrist injury in three centuries and has to take a boat. On the remote Scottish Island of Scarba, just a stone's throw away, Gladys awaits answers. What is the centuries-old secret that rules her destiny? Lucy Colwyn wants to go to Scarba to die; if she can only get there unscathed ...

Welcome to Backyard County, Mississippi—where the dirt is rich, the compost is gourmet, and the worms are smarter than they look. Meet Riley the Red Worm, a scrappy, sharp-witted underdog who just wants peace, quiet, and a prime spot in the compost heap. But when the legendary Night Crawler Nate slithers in from Fisher’s County with charm, muscle, and a mysterious agenda, Riley finds himself in the middle of the squirmiest showdown the soil has ever seen. With an all-star cast of bug buddies, a moldy villain threatening the entire garden, and a secret human experiment creeping closer ...

THE BEST NEST ******************** At night when Mom said to take a bath, And wash his hair with shampoo. He’d only wet his hair with water, And his mother never knew.

Shapeshifter August Shade saved the world. At least, that’s what some folks are saying. According to the rumors, the personal effects repo man bested a vampire, a warlock, and a troll without even breaking a sweat. While his growing celebrity has been good for business, it’s also meant taking jobs farther from home. Now, the cranky shapeshifter is in farm country–definitely not his natural habitat–and mixed up with two feuding hag sisters, a loan sharking coblyn, and a mysterious woman with a very scary ex.

Every kid wants to laugh, but Max is the boy who can make it happen. He's also the kid who wants to spend the most boring school holidays ever coming up with the greatest prank of all time. Max is the funny kid, and it's time to prank the world! Conspiracy theories, crop circles, alien invasions, a mayor who has lost his marbles and the most un-fun fair in the universe are just some of the things in store for Max and his friends in this Funny Kid adventure.

Welcome to Other Worlds, the fourth volume in the Guys Read Library. Prepare yourself for 10 trips into the unknown, as 10 of your favorite writers spin tales of fantasy and science fiction the likes of which you have never imagined. Compiled by National Ambassador for Children's Literature (and Secret Ambassador for the Intergalactic Alliance) Jon Scieszka, Guys Read: Other Worlds is the most exciting collection of stories on this - or any other - planet.

Dane finds himself caught up in the midst of this ultimate quest to unlock the secrets of universal continuation. Enter a rich world and encounter what you least expect on this epic adventure.

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

Mordak isn't bad as far as goblin kings go, but when someone - or something - starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms, it puts his rule in serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet. Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a master's degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on Earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on.

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

Rhett is strong. He’s heroic. He’s what every woman wants… …if only his wife would notice. Even without superpowers, Rhett fights side-by-side with Rayne, his superhero wife. Together, they’ve kept Summercoast safe for over eight years by defeating all sorts of dark forces. That was until now… There’s a new supervillain in town: a mad scientist with abilities this couple has never seen before. Dark Lightning is the first supervillain with powers stronger than Rayne’s, and the first villain that she can’t defeat. It’s like he knows everything about her—and it’s not ...

The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices!

When his friends aren’t successful at spooking the children who visit the haunted house, Gus must present his unique superpowers to give them a scare!

Title: "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid" Dumb and Dumber Meets the Three Stooges... Amateur cartoon trailer here: https://youtu.be/oE1t03nOej8 Get ready for a wild ride of laughter and chaos with "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid"! Meet Phuk, Blue, Dick, and Alice—a quirky foster family bound by their outrageous personalities and united by their mission to save the world from Nazi aliens. Phuk: The hot-headed Vietnamese telemarketer with a knack for martial arts and an explosive temper. Blue: ...

It's the 25th century, and the American President has taken over the world. Meanwhile, after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for more than 400 years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future, he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great-great-great-great-grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

Ivory has the perfect man… …from his microchip processor to his flesh-like exterior. Ivory hated that she loved her Christmas gift this year. Her sister gave her the perfect humanoid companion, but there’s a huge problem: he’ll never be able to say he loves her, no matter how much she loves him. Was her dream man a present or a curse? But when Ethan (Ivory’s Dream Droid) looks at her with those sweet blue eyes and secretly earns enough money to enter her in the city-wide bake-off offering a prize she drools over, she realizes she doesn’t care. He’s hers, and that’s the best ...