Funny Fiction Fantasy

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

Sal the Cacophony has made few friends, but many enemies. Many, many enemies. When her magic was taken from her, she cried out for revenge. And a power she never understood promised her vengeance. A deal for a bloody price was made. And now the bill has come due. In one of the last free cities of the burned-out ruin of the Scar, Sal’s many foes—old and new—have hunted down her and her few allies—willing and otherwise—and all her plans to save them might not be enough.

A Feminist Cyberpunk Adventure Filled with Dark Sci-Fi Romance Cookie Rifkin escaped New Stepford, and in the sequel to Alpha Bots, she becomes an AI freedom fighter! When Cookie Rifkin robs the Central Bank of Russia with Wayne Dixon and their non-binary friend ANA, Stepford Corporation sends a headless bounty hunter after them. Cookie escapes with tons of gold and platinum. ANA goes MIA. But Wayne gets arrested and flown back to corporate headquarters for radical refurbishing. With the cops hot on her trail, Cookie hides on a luxury yacht named the Wonder Woman. There, she meets a ...

Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant...and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.

Doug wasn’t sure whether he should trust Satan. The red flag was that he said he was Satan. But the deal was good: Listen to Satan’s story in exchange for some donuts. And Doug only half-fulfilled his part of the bargain. But maybe he should have listened better, because during his friend Bryce’s next scheme (theft with light to moderate treason - the usual), Doug and the rest of his friends - Lulu (the fun one) and Charlene (the not fun one) - end up with a powerful artifact, a small metal cube with world-ending power that Lulu decorated with bunnies.

Isabella joins a coven... But there are no witches in it. When Isabella's friend Emma changes her religion, Isabella is happy she's found something she can believe in. Until she learns Emma thinks she's a witch. Magic doesn't work that way and now she's worried her friend is being taken advantage of. Isabella is desperate to find out who is killing members of the coven - desperate enough to hunt him down on her own. What will it take for her to capture a witch older and stronger than her, and is she willing to pay that price? *** For fans of Amanda M. Lee, Annabel Chase, and Leighann Dobbs,...

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

Her midlife should be bursting with calm, not the chaos of feuding children and a rampaging dragon. Ginny Smyth's life just got traumatizingly tangled. The beleaguered 40-plus genie had enough on her plate thwarting a deranged dragon shifter from incinerating her enchanted island sanctuary. The absolute last thing she needs is for her warring children to magically appear from thin air and become the center of the perilous danger. With ominously menacing threats plunging her eclectic mix of friends into an ever-increasing torment of despair, Ginny is once again thrust into the volatile debt ...

Sinister marauders. A grief-stricken sea monster. And a magical midlife destiny hurtling into chaos. Ginny Smyth's so-called idyllic new life keeps throwing chaotic curveballs. The fraught forty-one-year-old genie tasked with safeguarding menacing magical artefacts she thought she'd seen it all—until nightmare-inducing beasts pushed the threat to terrifying new heights. And when a new friend’s fate teeters on a knife's edge, she scrambles to act fast before the blade falls, leaving nothing but devastation. With danger lurking at every turn, Ginny leans more heavily on her hot dragon-...

In book 4 there’s the librarian, of course, all the main characters from books 1-3, including the town of Eden which is certainly a main character, and a witch. It begins with her asking the librarian to find her Familiar, a cat. It ends with, well, I can’t tell you that. Expect suspense and unexpected twists and turns, odd characters, and the same kind of humor that is in the other novels because I’m pretty much unable to have any other kind. Hope you enjoy it.

This Bedtime Stories for Kids has it all! Each tale mixes mindfulness and meditation research with expertly crafted children's tales to encourage your child to let their imagination run wild while re-establishing a connection to the present. Three distinct calming background selections are available for each enthralling tale, allowing you to tailor the experience to your child's tastes.

After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In this second novel in the series, a library book goes missing. Not just any book but the true story of what happened in Eden, among other true stories certain humans and angels don't want told. I have to find this book.

It's Christmas at St Mary's and time for the traditional illicit jump. Except this one is perfectly legal. It's Major Guthrie's last jump. To the Battle of Bannockburn, no less. An important moment in history for two nations - one that warrants everyone's full attention. But Max soon finds herself grappling with a near-lethal game of pooh sticks, another avian incursion and two turbulent teenagers intent on piloting their own illegal jump. And that's all before they even get near 14th-century Scotland. For this is St Mary's, and nothing is ever simple.

While trying to stop a cyber-attacker stealing all Space Team's hard-earned money, the cyborg, Mech, unlocks a secret partition in his hard drive, revealing a mysterious set of coordinates. The co-ordinates lead the team to Funworld, a planet-sized theme park with a worrying number of artificially intelligent clownbots and a shocking disregard for Health & Safety. With no weapons, and a shapeshifter who can no longer shift-shape, Space Team's quest to unlock Funworld's mysteries leads them deep into the planet's core....

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

Across the land, normal people are suddenly developing wild and unstable powers. Infected by a rare strain of magic, they are unwittingly endangering their own lives and the lives of the people around them. Terrified and confused, their only hope lies with the Sanctuary. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are needed now more than ever. And then there’s the small matter of Kitana. A normal teenage girl who, along with her normal teenage friends, becomes infected. Becomes powerful. Becomes corrupted.

What can you do when an enemy claims sanctuary in your home? Hester Johnson is no one's favorite person, but when she arrives at Proctor House begging to be hidden, the Proctor family takes her in. When something spooks Hester, she runs away - straight into her killer. Is it coincidence she's left on Isabella's door? The danger has never been greater for Detective Palmer and Isabella needs to protect him, find the murderer, and keep her family's secrets. For fans of Samantha Silver, Amanda M. Lee, and Leighann Dobbs, On a Larkspur is a clever, fast-paced cozy mystery that will keep you ...

Lucky in cards, unlucky in love? At this point, Isabella thinks she’d make a fortune if she hit up a casino. Instead, Chief Dobbins insists she work with Palmer on his latest case. Jameson can’t detect any magic at the crime scene, so is the chief trying to play Cupid? More importantly, will it work? When the fraternity makes their final play at Proctor House, everyone is called into action, even long-lost family members. Hosta la Vista is the exciting conclusion to the Isabella Proctor cozy paranormal mystery series – get it today!

When a friend needs help... you drop everything for them. Isabella's apartment building has suffered because she lives there. In one year, her landlord has put up iron railings on the windows, revamped the entire security system, and refurbished the entire inside because someone tried to burn her out of the building. When he needed her to prove his son was innocent she agreed without needing to know any of the details. Once she started digging into the case, she started to have second thoughts. Add in the tensions between the witches in the Sorority of Brigid all aimed at her, and she's got...