Funny Memoir

Have you ever wondered what really happens during the day when your precious little angels are at school? In this book, the Two Mr Ps take you on a side-splittingly funny journey through the weird and wonderful world of primary schools. They also explore the pressures of modern-day teaching, revealing exactly what it takes to wrangle a chaotic classroom (or seven) on a weekly basis. From the absolute characters found in the staffroom to school-trip mishaps and everything else in between, Put a Wet Paper Towel on It is a must-hear for teachers and parents alike.

Written in intimate, gleefully TMI prose, Knocking Myself Up is the irreverent account of Tea’s route to parenthood—with a group of ride-or-die friends, a generous drag queen, and a whole lot of can-do pluck. Along the way she falls in love with a wholesome genderqueer a decade her junior, attempts biohacking herself a baby with black market fertility meds (and magicking herself an offspring with witch-enchanted honey), learns her eggs are busted, and enters the Fertility Industrial Complex in order to carry her younger lover’s baby.

I never planned to write about my life with cerebral palsy (CP), but after years of absurd, frustrating, and hilarious experiences, I had to share them. This book is part memoir, part guide to navigating an able-bodied world when your body has its own agenda. From my mom almost being mistaken for a prostitute to a first date disaster in a movie theater, my life is full of bizarre encounters. Doctors talk over me, cops have been afraid of me, and strangers treat me like a sideshow.

Driving on the wrong side of the road, an accident up the Alps, Force 10 storms, seasickness, being robbed of 200 euros, a brush with bats, blocked toilets and other mishaps...travelling with (or without) Don had its moments! Dawn thought her journeys abroad were over when she married Don. He flatly refused to fly. Surprisingly, plenty of opportunities to travel the globe by car, ferry, and cruise ship presented themselves. Venturing to France with Don, who has spina bifida, family friend Geoff, who’d had a stroke, and four-year-old Tim, as well as 89-year-old Harold, certainly added an ...

Introduction Welcome to the ctrl-alt-deleted version of my life. Once upon a time, I had a morning routine that didn’t involve stepping on LEGOs barefoot, explaining to a toddler why the cat can’t wear diapers, or muting myself mid-Zoom call because someone was screaming about the injustice of a banana being “too banana-y.” Then came motherhood. And then came remote work. And then came the apocalypse. (Okay, maybe not the biblical kind—but certainly a toy-strewn, schedule-destroyed, sleep-deprived version of one.) This isn’t a guide. It’s not a parenting manual. It’s not ...

In this book of memories, anecdotes, inspiration and adventure, Tyler von Rebik brings you his life in earnest. From his early life in the South to being a soldier, a bestselling author, an artist, an adventurer, a rabbi, a donor, almost a TV star and finally, a King; this book is filled to the brim with inspiration for the next person. An epic journey, filled with twist and turns, explored and engaged by a modern-day rogue.. Eh, I've Been Around is a intriguingly crafted journey of retrospect and living life to the fullest, even if we don't actually know it at the time.

There’s only one thing to do when people around you are having heart attacks, being threatened with deportation, suffering manic attacks of epic proportions, breaking promises, or missing Greyhound buses… Simply go with the flow and write a book about it. Leaving England and moving to America, novelist Travis Casey and his British wife move in with his parents to help them with life in general during their advancing years. Having developed a greater understanding of his former country, Casey continues his observations of what has changed over the past two decades and tells of the drama ...

On Christmas Day of 1990, Leslie Jerome Silberman turned thirteen years old. He was a normal kid, with a best friend that was always one step ahead and a crush on a girl he didn't know anything about. Once he finished his homework, he had nothing but time on his hands. Enter the personal computer. More specifically, the dial-up modem. Dirty Pixels is a ridiculous and profane celebration of suburban male adolescence in the days just before America got Online. It’s a satirical look at the underbelly of the primordial Internet and the perils of friendship, heartache, softcore pornography, ...

(THE TONKS IN SPAIN containing SETTLING IN SPAIN and PROSPERING IN SPAIN is now also on sale at a reduced price.) Ken E. Tonks, husband of the celebrated travel writer Doreen B. Tonks, has finally put pen to paper to give his version of their first months in Spain, before recording the exciting events of the following spring and summer. Ken, usually a man of few words, bares his soul in this eventful narrative set on and around the Costa del Sol. His budding friendship with Fede the artist proves to be his passport into a life far removed from the insular expat community, and the singular ...

This is a two-volume ebook edition of Doreen and Ken Tonks’ amusing, down-to-earth books about their life in southern Spain. Please see individual titles for descriptions and reviews.

Matt Knott spent more than a decade traveling the globe as a private tutor. He has taught Shakespeare in Moscow, times tables in Tuscany and is still trying to figure out how to explain long division. With brilliant honesty and wit, he takes us inside a world most of us only glimpse speeding past in a luxury SUV. Unfolding across four continents and featuring a colourful cast of butlers, billionaires and yummy mummies, this is a hilarious and touching chronicle of an unforgettable time.

Adam Fletcher's life hates him.... That's how it feels since he lost his girlfriend of nine years, his confidence, hair, and home. But then he receives an email from a mysterious stranger offering him a free holiday of a lifetime. It's too good to be true. But then what does he have to lose? So he says yes. And then things gets strange....

She's spent thirty-five years in the public eye: 'Vanessa's Friends Say She's Drinking Custard!' Vanessa seizes her chance to set the record straight in this warm, witty, intensely human story. She spares no one's blushes, including her own. How could someone so clever make such cataclysmic mistakes? Vanessa's often wrong, but always relatable. She puts the 'Oh my goodness, I can never unread that paragraph!' into celebrity autobiography.

Justin Brown sets off with nothing but a guitar, a backpack, and a G-string… the musical kind. Armed with charm and cheek he sets out to win a bet, one cringe-worthy doorstep at a time. From turkey farms to chip shops, posh suburbs to dodgy estates, Justin meets a cast of unforgettable Brits. Justin delivers a hilarious account of his fraught and totally unpredictable journey showing why he’s become an award-winning travel writer and bestselling author. 5 ★ REVIEW BY THE NZ HERALD By MARGIE THOMSON Blame it on the All Blacks: if they'd won their test match against Australia in August ...

Is there a more sociable province than Newfoundland and Labrador? Or anywhere in Canada with a greater reputation for coming to the rescue of those in need? At this time of Covid, singer, songwriter and best-selling author Alan Doyle is feeling everyone's pain. Off the road and spending more days at home than he has since he was a child hawking cod tongues on the wharfs of Petty Harbour, he misses the crowds and companionship of performing. We're all experiencing our own version of that deprivation, and Alan, one of Newfoundland's finest storytellers, wants to offer a little balm.

FROM THE FOREWORD BY MILLIE STEVENTON My Uncle Stan was a grumpy man when he began to write to me from Spain and he can’t be said to have mellowed much with age. This book contains only his letters to me, as his old-school habit of always referring to my missives removes the need to include my supportive, and sometimes censorious, replies which possess little of the descriptive power and mostly unintentional humour of his own copious correspondence. In a way I suppose that in the last few years I have been his only constant and empathic contact with the rest of humanity and this first ...

Filius Thoreau, arch-benefit fraudster and jaunty raconteur, celebrates the silver anniversary of his induction into the world of the workshy with his candid, but not too candid, autobiography in which he celebrates the unique and sinuous path he has steered through the minefield of work-obsessed modern Britain. From the dark days of the Poll Tax through the laissez-faire nineties to the ghastly government work schemes of the new millennium, Filius has marched onwards to the sound of his own personal drummer and constructed a uniquely apologist philosophy along the way.

Following the success of The Laughing Policeman, Glenn Wood completes the story of his rather undistinguished career in the New Zealand Police. Constable Wood was a disaster waiting to happen. He was the sort of cop who was happier helping little old ladies across the street (even when they were quite content where they were) than pursuing the perpetrators of dreadful deeds. But if he failed to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld, his superiors had a real problem on their hands. Never before had they been forced to deal with such a well-meaning but accident-prone officer ...

On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans of Ashton United FC. As his initial optimism and disillusionment begin to slip through his fingers, the new co-chairman and co-owner (alongside his dad) starts to realise the scale of the challenge ahead.

IDLE RICH is the entertaining account of one man’s attempt to turn over a new leaf in Spain. When lifelong underachiever Richie Bannister is offered free board and lodgings in a seaside resort on the south-western coast of Andalucia, he jumps at the chance to escape from the dull Lancashire town where he’s been stuck for the last forty-odd years. His host Peter, a retired photographer, turns out not to be the doddery old fellow he’s expecting to meet, but a man on a mission into which Richie finds himself inadvertently drawn. After his so-far aimless life, this new commitment proves ...