Funny Memoir

Written in intimate, gleefully TMI prose, Knocking Myself Up is the irreverent account of Tea’s route to parenthood—with a group of ride-or-die friends, a generous drag queen, and a whole lot of can-do pluck. Along the way she falls in love with a wholesome genderqueer a decade her junior, attempts biohacking herself a baby with black market fertility meds (and magicking herself an offspring with witch-enchanted honey), learns her eggs are busted, and enters the Fertility Industrial Complex in order to carry her younger lover’s baby.

This is a two-volume ebook edition of Doreen and Ken Tonks’ amusing, down-to-earth books about their life in southern Spain. Please see individual titles for descriptions and reviews.

(THE TONKS IN SPAIN containing SETTLING IN SPAIN and PROSPERING IN SPAIN is now also on sale at a reduced price.) Ken E. Tonks, husband of the celebrated travel writer Doreen B. Tonks, has finally put pen to paper to give his version of their first months in Spain, before recording the exciting events of the following spring and summer. Ken, usually a man of few words, bares his soul in this eventful narrative set on and around the Costa del Sol. His budding friendship with Fede the artist proves to be his passport into a life far removed from the insular expat community, and the singular ...

PG-Rated Version (The original, unedited version is also available.) "Go Out and Play and Don't Come Home until it's Dark." Growing up in the 70's wasn't easy. No internet or smartphones, video games or HDTV -- nothing but time to kill and the endless potential of a summer day. Only parental threats and a newly-developed sense of right and wrong could steer Johnny Virgil and his two younger brothers away from trouble...or directly into it. Join Johnny on this hilarious and irreverent romp through his childhood as he recounts the stories that made him what he is today - an unimportant cog in...

After the international success of The Laughing Policeman and Cop Out, I'm back with another collection of disasters—recently unearthed travel stories that prove I should never be allowed to leave New Zealand. Armed with misplaced confidence and a talent for finding trouble, I've managed to stumble around the globe with unfortunate friends who really should have known better. From the depths of the Bornean jungle to the mean streets of Belfast during 'the troubles', I've blundered through it all, creating chaos and completely overestimating my abilities at every turn. Join me on these ...

There’s only one thing to do when people around you are having heart attacks, being threatened with deportation, suffering manic attacks of epic proportions, breaking promises, or missing Greyhound buses… Simply go with the flow and write a book about it. Leaving England and moving to America, novelist Travis Casey and his British wife move in with his parents to help them with life in general during their advancing years. Having developed a greater understanding of his former country, Casey continues his observations of what has changed over the past two decades and tells of the drama ...

Driving on the wrong side of the road, an accident up the Alps, Force 10 storms, seasickness, being robbed of 200 euros, a brush with bats, blocked toilets and other mishaps...travelling with (or without) Don had its moments! Dawn thought her journeys abroad were over when she married Don. He flatly refused to fly. Surprisingly, plenty of opportunities to travel the globe by car, ferry, and cruise ship presented themselves. Venturing to France with Don, who has spina bifida, family friend Geoff, who’d had a stroke, and four-year-old Tim, as well as 89-year-old Harold, certainly added an ...

Is there a more sociable province than Newfoundland and Labrador? Or anywhere in Canada with a greater reputation for coming to the rescue of those in need? At this time of Covid, singer, songwriter and best-selling author Alan Doyle is feeling everyone's pain. Off the road and spending more days at home than he has since he was a child hawking cod tongues on the wharfs of Petty Harbour, he misses the crowds and companionship of performing. We're all experiencing our own version of that deprivation, and Alan, one of Newfoundland's finest storytellers, wants to offer a little balm.

I never planned to write about my life with cerebral palsy (CP), but after years of absurd, frustrating, and hilarious experiences, I had to share them. This book is part memoir, part guide to navigating an able-bodied world when your body has its own agenda. From my mom almost being mistaken for a prostitute to a first date disaster in a movie theater, my life is full of bizarre encounters. Doctors talk over me, cops have been afraid of me, and strangers treat me like a sideshow.

On Christmas Day of 1990, Leslie Jerome Silberman turned thirteen years old. He was a normal kid, with a best friend that was always one step ahead and a crush on a girl he didn't know anything about. Once he finished his homework, he had nothing but time on his hands. Enter the personal computer. More specifically, the dial-up modem. Dirty Pixels is a ridiculous and profane celebration of suburban male adolescence in the days just before America got Online. It’s a satirical look at the underbelly of the primordial Internet and the perils of friendship, heartache, softcore pornography, ...

STEADY ON, GEORGE! is the stirring and humorous account of the adventures of two mature men in Spain. Five months after his friend George becomes a widower, 76-year-old Mel Taylor finally gets his new knee into gear and flies out to visit him in Denia. Intending to stay for a couple of weeks, George soon whisks him off on a trip whose consequences threaten to turn his quiet life by the English seaside upside down. Despite the misgivings of his protective daughter Beth, Mel soon finds George’s desire for change and renewal so contagious that previously unthinkable ideas begin to seem quite...

Matt Knott spent more than a decade traveling the globe as a private tutor. He has taught Shakespeare in Moscow, times tables in Tuscany and is still trying to figure out how to explain long division. With brilliant honesty and wit, he takes us inside a world most of us only glimpse speeding past in a luxury SUV. Unfolding across four continents and featuring a colourful cast of butlers, billionaires and yummy mummies, this is a hilarious and touching chronicle of an unforgettable time.

FROM THE FOREWORD BY MILLIE STEVENTON My Uncle Stan was a grumpy man when he began to write to me from Spain and he can’t be said to have mellowed much with age. This book contains only his letters to me, as his old-school habit of always referring to my missives removes the need to include my supportive, and sometimes censorious, replies which possess little of the descriptive power and mostly unintentional humour of his own copious correspondence. In a way I suppose that in the last few years I have been his only constant and empathic contact with the rest of humanity and this first ...

Is it too late for Donna to find lasting love, or will she just repeat the same mistakes? Donna's love life is a mess. Years of online-dating has left her self-esteem in tatters. Now 56, she can boast a list of failed relationships longer than a grocery bill. When her spiteful daughter, Olivia, makes a scathing remark about her mother's love life, Donna sets out on one last quest to find Mr Right. It's 2020 and England is in lockdown, presenting a whole range of new challenges for daters. Donna's forays into the world of dating lead her on a series of calamitous adventures involving an ...

Eric Tansey, a former Army scout and Special Operations military veteran, joined the police force with a ton of unrealistic expectations. The reality of the job knocked him down and changed his perspective on everything. Always a magnet for uncanny, wild situations, Tansey reveals exactly what it’s like to deal with everyday life as a police officer—from trying to tackle naked suspects to pepper spraying yourself in the face, from dealing with an angry mob to coaxing suicidal subjects off a bridge, an uncut version of everything is included.

"An utterly brilliant and wonderfully executed idea." –Jennifer Clarke (singer/songwriter) and Lenny Clarke (comedian/actor) Told from two different perspectives, The Cringe Chronicles is a unique father-daughter memoir following Kristin Tougias on her teenage tribulations and strange family vacations. Kristin’s father, author and travel writer Michael J. Tougias, is a bit eccentric and a true nonconformist who inadvertently adds to Kristin’s woes. At the end of each chapter chronicling their misadventures, Kristin’s father Michael gives his personal and humorous point of view, ...

* BERYL AND FRED IN SPAIN now available, containing this book plus A Cat called Cheryl, with Fred and Beryl at a reduced price.* When Beryl and Fred decide to sell up and take a camper van tour around Spain with their lovable Cocker Spaniel, Ted, little do they realise how eventful their poorly planned trip will turn out to be. Intending to tour the whole country thoroughly in an anti-clockwise direction, one unexpected incident after another throws them off track and sees their faithful VW Camper, Vernon, transporting them to the south coast well ahead of any real or imagined schedule. ...

Filius Thoreau, arch-benefit fraudster and jaunty raconteur, celebrates the silver anniversary of his induction into the world of the workshy with his candid, but not too candid, autobiography in which he celebrates the unique and sinuous path he has steered through the minefield of work-obsessed modern Britain. From the dark days of the Poll Tax through the laissez-faire nineties to the ghastly government work schemes of the new millennium, Filius has marched onwards to the sound of his own personal drummer and constructed a uniquely apologist philosophy along the way.

This book is a collection of short stories that describe some of the unique incidents and experiences from my life. These are stories that have stuck in my mind for years. They are unforgettable. There have been funny incidents, near death experiences, moments of inspiration and periods of deep introspection. I also included a section with stories that explore racism and prejudice. I feel that this section of the book is very important. When I get together with a group of friends, we usually begin by talking about how our families is doing. Another subject may be the recent vacations that ...

Have you ever wondered what really happens during the day when your precious little angels are at school? In this book, the Two Mr Ps take you on a side-splittingly funny journey through the weird and wonderful world of primary schools. They also explore the pressures of modern-day teaching, revealing exactly what it takes to wrangle a chaotic classroom (or seven) on a weekly basis. From the absolute characters found in the staffroom to school-trip mishaps and everything else in between, Put a Wet Paper Towel on It is a must-hear for teachers and parents alike.