Funny Memoir

After the international success of The Laughing Policeman and Cop Out, I'm back with another collection of disasters—recently unearthed travel stories that prove I should never be allowed to leave New Zealand. Armed with misplaced confidence and a talent for finding trouble, I've managed to stumble around the globe with unfortunate friends who really should have known better. From the depths of the Bornean jungle to the mean streets of Belfast during 'the troubles', I've blundered through it all, creating chaos and completely overestimating my abilities at every turn. Join me on these ...

John Cooper Clarke is a phenomenon: Poet Laureate of Punk, rock star, fashion icon, TV and radio presenter, social and cultural commentator, reluctant national treasure. At 5 feet 11 inches (116lb, 32in chest, 27in waist), in trademark suit jacket, skin-tight drainpipes and dark glasses, with jet-black back-combed hair and mouth full of gold teeth, he is instantly recognisable. As a writer his voice is equally unmistakable and his inimitable dry Salford drawl shines through the prose.

If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.

In the midst of World War II, James is training for the Royal Air Force, while going home to Yorkshire whenever possible to see his very pregnant wife, Helen. Musing on past adventures through the dales, visiting with old friends, and introducing scores of new and amusing characters—animal and human alike—Herriot enthralls with his uncanny ability to spin a most engaging and heartfelt yarn.

From the New York Times-best-selling author Sloane Crosley comes Look Alive Out There - a brand-new collection of essays filled with her trademark hilarity, wit, and charm. The characteristic heart and punch-packing observations are back, but with a newfound coat of maturity. A thin coat. More of a blazer, really. Fans of I Was Told There'd Be Cake and How Did You Get This Number know Sloane Crosley's life as a series of relatable but madcap misadventures.

Gary Janetti, the writer and producer for some of the most popular television comedies of all time, and creator of one of the most wickedly funny Instagram accounts there is, now turns his skills into a hilarious, and poignant audiobook chronicling the pains and indignities of everyday life. Gary spends his 20s in New York, dreaming of starring on soap operas while in reality working at a hotel where he lusts after an unattainable colleague and battles a bellman who despises it when people actually use a bell to call him.

You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue, which provided her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending.

Not your typical travelogue. Instead, this book is organized by the nature of the experience the author had while traveling. I am an avid world traveler. I have lived in a variety of international locations, and I have both studied abroad and taught abroad. I have backpacked, camped out, stayed at youth hostels, and now, in my senior years, I have stayed in topnotch hotels and resorts. I have flown standby, and I have flown first class. I have hitchhiked, and I have taken public transportation, slow trains, fast trains, boats, and ships. I cherish my memories. They are solid, like granite, ...

There's a mark on every stage around the world that signifies the center of its depth and width, called "center center." James Whiteside has dreamed of standing on that very mark as a principal dancer with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre ever since he was a twelve-year-old blown away by watching the company's spring gala.

"You can love a dog so much, but you can never love them as much as you will miss them." A witty, heart-warming, and touching tale of a man, and man's best friend, brought together by a moment of fate. The Life and Adventures of Bert will make you smile, laugh, and shed a tear. This irresistibly charming memoir captures hearts and imaginations as we experience Bert's life from escaping a wretched existence, forming unbreakable loving bonds, to becoming one of Twitter's most loved dogs. You'll love this life-affirming book about an ordinary dog from humble beginnings because the love of a ...

As far back as he can remember James Corden has only ever wanted to be in one place: in front of you, doing something to make you laugh, cry, shout, or giggle uncontrollably. At the age of 4, he grandstanded throughout his baby sister’s christening, standing on a chair in front of the whole congregation, pulling faces and cracking everyone up. Despite himself, the vicar was impressed. And from then on he couldn’t get enough of the spotlight, even when it always seemed to avoid him. Throughout his teens, he and his Dad trudged up and down towards London....

Welcome to “Horror Day” High School.Meet the Class of ‘67: it’s a typical teenage crowd—with a European, 7’0, 110-lb. albino “vampire” who sucks the juice out of oranges through a straw, a hairy wolf-boy who howls over tests, the Hulk-in-football pads, a pink lollipop-Valentine girl, a Brainiac, a Halloween Goth-witch, a Christmas surfer girl, and a guy with green skin—and hair. It’s really “Holiday High School” in Las Vegas. These are the memoirs of “the Dirt Devils,” the weird-and-wild-ones who “did it their way” enroute to graduation before the fame, ...

The raw, milk-stained truth about new motherhood that your Instagram feed doesn't want you to see. WARNING: This book contains scenes of extreme sleep deprivation, discussions of bodily fluids that would make a medical examiner blush, and language that reflects what mothers actually think at 3 AM (not what they post on social media at noon). From the moment your precious bundle of joy turns your body into a 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet, you'll discover that "nipple confusion" isn't just a breastfeeding issue—it's the perfect metaphor for your entire existence as a new mom: painful, ...

A testament to the importance of imagination, trusting oneself, and making space for your creativity, Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? is a memoir of a '90s kid who confided in his imaginary sidekick to navigate everything from parallel pop culture universes, like watching Fresh Prince alongside John Hughes movies or listening to Ja Rule and Dave Matthews, to a lifetime of birthday disappointment (being a Christmas season Capricorn will do that to you) and hoop dreams gone bad.

Michael’s first book ended with his big break at the 2006 Royal Variety Performance. Waking up the next morning in the tiny rented flat he shared with his wife, Kitty, and their one-year-old son, he was beyond excited about the new glamorous world of show business. Unfortunately, he was also clueless. In A Funny Life, Michael honestly and hilariously shares the highs and the lows of his rise to the top and desperate attempts to stay there.

The youngest of five siblings, Sara grew up on her father's cattle farm surrounded by dogs, cows, horses, fields and lots of 'cack'. The lanky kid sister - half girl, half forehead - a nuisance to the older kids, the farm was her very own dangerous adventure playground, 'a Bolton version of Narnia'. Her writing conjures up a time of wagon rides and haymaking and agricultural shows alongside chain-smoking pensioners, cabaret nights at the Conservative club and benign parenting.

David Lee Stone has been a chronic oversharer since the moment he first learned to talk. In this brutally honest memoir told through a series of therapy sessions David recounts many hilarious tales from the 80s and 90s, recounting the lessons he’s learned. These include cautionary tales on why it’s never a good idea to deal with retail customers' complaints using a sock puppet, why it was entirely possible to order obscene items that didn’t exist back in the glorious days of Blockbuster Video, why discovering what your dog REALLY thinks of you is a bad idea and how the sort of BMX ...

Hello! I’m Brian Limond, aka Limmy. You might know me from Limmy’s Show. Or you might not know me at all. Don’t worry if you don’t. They asked me to write a book about mental health, because I sometimes talk about my mental health in tweets and interviews, like suicidal thoughts and anxiety, and what I’ve done to try to deal with it. I said to them, oh, I don’t know if I could fill a whole book with just that. But how’s about I write a general autobiography type of thing, and all the mental health stuff will naturally appear along the way?

IDLE RICH is the entertaining account of one man’s attempt to turn over a new leaf in Spain. When lifelong underachiever Richie Bannister is offered free board and lodgings in a seaside resort on the south-western coast of Andalucia, he jumps at the chance to escape from the dull Lancashire town where he’s been stuck for the last forty-odd years. His host Peter, a retired photographer, turns out not to be the doddery old fellow he’s expecting to meet, but a man on a mission into which Richie finds himself inadvertently drawn. After his so-far aimless life, this new commitment proves ...

Eastbourne or Bust A not-at-all-serious account of one man, one bike, and the long, painful road to the coast. Ever thought cycling the South Downs Way would be a charming, leisurely jaunt through scenic countryside? Yeah, so did I. Idiot. What actually happened was a four-day, mud-splattered odyssey of mechanical failures, chalky cliffside death slides, possessed bike saddles, and a surprising number of historical detours involving Romans, smugglers, haunted windmills and at least one overly dramatic Victorian tunnel. Armed with questionable fitness, a half-functioning bicycle, and the ...