Funny Science Fiction

An artist takes us through his day, from his own particular perspective. A short story from Guys Read: Other Worlds, edited by Jon Scieszka.

T-Bin has been traveling through space for years to deposit its passengers on a new planet, to give them a new life. But now, mere days from arrival, Tanner can’t shake the feeling that there’s a more sinister plot at work.

Have you ever wondered what a UFO abduction is like from the alien’s viewpoint? Can a machine provide comfort to a dying woman? What would it be like to fall into the hands of a get-rich-quick scheming extraterrestrial? All these questions and more are answered in this book of wonderfully crafted short stories by breakout author J.J. Harlan.

★ A Launch Pad 2024 Prose Competition Top 50 Finalist! But That Doesn't Really Mean Anything! ★ Brilliant. Ambitious. A great detective. Matilda Garrigan is none of these in The Matildas, a quirky, hilarious mystery with duplicates, duplicity, and an amateur sleuth in way over her head. Tiny book publisher Mitotic Press takes novels from one Earth and publishes them on a parallel Earth, thanks to a portal in a basement conference room. They're a team of book thieves with a pretty sweet (and very secret) business--until someone anonymously threatens to reveal Mitotic's portal to both ...

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? Ever wonder what it would be like to be a real life ninja kid? Sounds like you need the ninja code! Take a peek at what is really going on with the zombie apocalypse. Michael Carter, with a handful of new friends, a dog with secret abilities, and his fart brother, need to find a safe place to hide.

Life as an asteroid wildcatter ain't easy! Hello, friends. The name's Christopher Columbus Jackson. When I set out to make my fortune as an asteroid wildcatter, I had no idea that I'd soon cross paths with a down-and-out warrior priestess of the Church of Jesus Christ of Post-Millennial Saints, Orthodox. If I'd known better, I'd have steered clear of her distress beacon altogether. But there are two kinds of people in this galaxy: those who believe in something bigger than themselves, and those who don't believe in anything else. I would soon find out what kind of a man I was.

"Elementary, my dear Rand. It works because it's impossible!" - Quinn Schmul, eccentric inventor. A whirlwind tale of time travel, magic, science, coffee, geeks, logic, fallacy, and spaghetti. Rand likes his coffee, his sleep, and the study of philosophy. Especially philosophy. He craves the beauty and rigor of it. That's why he's studying formal logic at an age when he should be doing something far more sensible with his life. It's a mystery how he ended up getting roped into his girlfriend-inventor's latest experiment. Sure, yeah, Quinn has terrific hair, and as a barista in her day job, ...

In this Caldecott Medal-winning tale set in Old Japan, a lively little woman who loves to laugh pursues her runaway dumpling - and must outwit the wicked three-eyed oni when she lands in their clutches.

Monty Python meets Gladiator! Sand is destined for greatness...or so a pair of two-bit criminals would have him believe. After rescuing him from certain doom, Bess and Kaede embark on a scheme to game the War God Tournament. It’d be easier if Sand wasn’t an alcohol-soaked twit with a disturbing interest in mutton. Pitted against monsters, magic swords, and murderers galore, they soon realize winning the tourney is the least of their worries.

Milton Maroo, a portly space trader who enjoys a gourmet meal as much as a good deal, is wanted for murder in a strange star system on the brink of war. The Idon star system is fragile, crumbling from the outer planets in. At the edge, resentment boils in the Idonan people, whispers of uprising are growing. The palace, on the innermost planet, still projects order from a king increasingly out of touch with his subjects. Milton Maroo, the lone pilot of the trading ship, the Zenger, transports goods from system to system, most of it legal. On a run into the Idon system, his dazzling skills ...

Dostoyevsky was never shy to play with the issues of human mind in his work. A Funny Man's Dream is one of his shorter pieces that, nevertheless, lacks none of the profundity or the mind-bending power of his larger works.

A heist story with a difference: Guardians of the Galaxy meets The Hobbit in this rollicking fantasy adventure. The dragons who once ruled over the land are dead. The motley crew that stole the dragons' gold and stumbled through a revolution are rich and praised as saviours. Everyone gets to live happily ever after, right? Well, it might have worked out that way if the dragons in Kondorra had been the only ones. If they hadn't been just the tip of the spear about to fall upon the whole world....

This truly dark mystery story sees our protagonist Dragonman and undeniable friends and partners investigate a bizarre murder spree. The murders turn out to be far from ordinary when an investigation into the past brings untimely dread and danger for the future. This scary audiobook leads you on a trail of homicide that is more than meets the eye. John Logan has to look deep into Luke Starr’s past to find the answers he seeks. Nobody is laughing, because it turns out dying isn’t funny.

Aiko is a courageous astronaut, specially trained to brave the extremes of space. The whole of humanity is counting on her success. But on a planet that shows signs of life, something goes awry, and when she wakes up, she finds … a pack of dogs? And … they can talk? Descended from the valiant astrodogs who first traveled in space, these canines have cut off all contact with Earth. They’ve found a new planet where they can live, far from humanity and their former masters. (Yes, that doesn’t explain how they can talk, but that’s a little complicated, so let’s move on.)

Esha Verma, her snotty apprentice Broccoli and his cunning pet tortoise have a dream. They are going to win the legendary Brain Trophy - the ultimate inventing prize. This year's entry: a time machine. But the day before the competition, Esha's ignoramus big sister hijacks the time machine and is lost in the Cretaceous age. With help from a new recruit for The Office of Time, Esha and Broccoli will have to face hungry dinosaurs, mysterious black holes and malfunctioning inventions to get them back in time.

My name is Barry, although it might as well be Loser. Satan owns my soul, and my demon boss, Margery, tortures me with her magical cigarettes every chance she gets. While I’m desperate for freedom, I’ll do anything to stop her from opening the Gates of Hell…or any other crazy thing she has planned. My odds of saving mankind are uncertain, but I have to try.

The billion-dollar comic book. The black owner of the unfortunately named Kool Komics and Kollectibles reaches out to Doctor Mind and the Fakers with a seemingly simple mission: Protect a single issue of the legendary Captain King comic book series for one night. This task, however, instantly becomes more difficult when the Fakers learn that the infamous Shrederer, an internationally-wanted assassin and thief, has set his sights on this ridiculously expensive comic. And he is perfectly willing to kill innocent people to destroy it. With the fate of the most valuable comic book in the world ...

Felix hates Mondays. Dad's yelling at him to get up. His little brother, Olly, is being super annoying. So when Felix shuts the bathroom door, he wishes he could get away. He turns on the shower and...REEEEKKKKKK! Felix finds himself standing in the middle of a field...naked...with an army of soldiers charging at him.

Welcome to the Isle of Smile where everyone, including the Wibbles of Wobble Mountain, the singing Earworms and the one-eyed Drib Drabs, lives in perfect harmony – most of the time! But when the Clouds of Joy BUMP together to make a wonky rainbow it means one thing: someone or something is coming to VISIT. Who could it be . . .?

Galactic Futa Blade Wars On Kabasula, a civil war has struck the planet. The only sphere in the Teon Galaxy inhabited by Futa women—chaos has erupted. At stake is the entire civilization. Futa women must be fucked daily or else they will lose their power. Many could possibly shrivel up and die from the lack of attention. Ruled by the orange pussy grabbing old imp named Specula, there seems to be no hope for the inhabitants. The Emperor’s administrative skills suck. His cabinet is in confusion and his government is riddled with anarchy. For mature readers, 18+ who wish to read erotica, ...