Funny Science Fiction

On the first day of school, Artie falls out of his bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." On the second day of school, Artie falls out of bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." Huh?

Sal the Cacophony has made few friends, but many enemies. Many, many enemies. When her magic was taken from her, she cried out for revenge. And a power she never understood promised her vengeance. A deal for a bloody price was made. And now the bill has come due. In one of the last free cities of the burned-out ruin of the Scar, Sal’s many foes—old and new—have hunted down her and her few allies—willing and otherwise—and all her plans to save them might not be enough.

This Bedtime Stories for Kids has it all! Each tale mixes mindfulness and meditation research with expertly crafted children's tales to encourage your child to let their imagination run wild while re-establishing a connection to the present. Three distinct calming background selections are available for each enthralling tale, allowing you to tailor the experience to your child's tastes.

When the 13th Classroom is struck by purple lightning, something strange happens - all of the students get superpowers! You might think this was superb, but it was not. (It was sorta silly.) With great gifts comes wild weather, giant roaches, atomic farts, and other tricky troubles. As the students of Classroom 13 are about to learn, getting superpowers is not always super.

There’s never a dull moment with silly jokes just for kids! Forget being bored. That should never be a thing! Keep the fun and laughter going whether at home, on the go, or quite honestly…wherever! This book is overflowing with rounds of children friendly jokes!

Title: "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid" Dumb and Dumber Meets the Three Stooges... Amateur cartoon trailer here: https://youtu.be/oE1t03nOej8 Get ready for a wild ride of laughter and chaos with "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid"! Meet Phuk, Blue, Dick, and Alice—a quirky foster family bound by their outrageous personalities and united by their mission to save the world from Nazi aliens. Phuk: The hot-headed Vietnamese telemarketer with a knack for martial arts and an explosive temper. Blue: ...

Across the land, normal people are suddenly developing wild and unstable powers. Infected by a rare strain of magic, they are unwittingly endangering their own lives and the lives of the people around them. Terrified and confused, their only hope lies with the Sanctuary. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are needed now more than ever. And then there’s the small matter of Kitana. A normal teenage girl who, along with her normal teenage friends, becomes infected. Becomes powerful. Becomes corrupted.

How far would you run to escape your past? Hal and Clunk fly halfway across the galaxy, putting their earlier mishaps, disasters and angry customers behind them. It's a chance to start anew. To rebuild their reputation. To actually complete a cargo job without destroying the lot. Unfortunately, they chose the wrong planet ... The Hal Spacejock series features humorous science fiction, adventure and action. They're clean books with very occasional swearing (mild).

Imagine if you could grow dragons...in your very own garden! When Tomas discovers a strange old tree at the bottom of his grandad's garden, he doesn't think much of it. But he takes the funny fruit from the tree back into the house - and gets the shock and delight of his life when a tiny dragon hatches! The tree is a dragonfruit tree, and Tomas has got his very own dragon, Flicker....

WHEN A VAMPIRE ACCIDENTALLY EXPOSES HERSELF TO SUNLIGHT... Can the sun god, Apollo, save her from destruction, and what will he expect in return? Reading this poignant, erotic short story, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll shiver with juicy excitement. Intended for mature audiences 18+ only. Contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts, vampire trivia, crypto-erotica, and historical mead references. This book is 2,102 words long, and deeply moving. Or arousing. Or both.

After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In this second novel in the series, a library book goes missing. Not just any book but the true story of what happened in Eden, among other true stories certain humans and angels don't want told. I have to find this book.

Claire and Mel follow a clue to the local Victoriana Fun Fair, which seems to be a little bit funny…
Fully illustrated.

A Victorian Mystery 2 of 4

Short Circuit Time by Diane Saxon In the year 2086, Zaphira is alone, the last survivor of biological warfare on Earth. Before he died, her scientist father promised other survivors would come. Nobody has. So when a horribly mangled android shows up claiming to be her father’s assistant, Aiden, who has been sent through time to rescue her, she’s both frightened and astounded. The last time she’d seen Aiden, she’d been sixteen, head-over-heels in love with him and had literally thrown herself at him, leaving her devastated by his rejection and him running for the hills. The following...

Fact: Robots are awesome. They have lasers for eyes, rockets for feet, and supercomputers for brains! Plus, robots never have to eat steamed beans or take baths, or go to bed. If only there were some sort of magical “Robo-Sauce” that turned squishy little humans into giant awesome robots.... Well, now there is.

When Heidi finds out about a magical wishing well at her school, she’s amazed and delighted—even though students are forbidden to use it. Then, an important exam is scheduled at the very same time her crush invites her on a nature walk, and Heidi needs a magical assist. Usually, she tries to follow the rules—really!—but she decides to use the well to wish to be in two places at once. What could go wrong?

On a desperate journey to recover her sister's lost soul, Valkyrie Cain goes up against the High Sanctuary itself, and there's nothing Skulduggery Pleasant can do to stop her. With Abyssinia's grand plan about to kick off in a night of magic, terror, and bloodshed, it falls to Omen Darkly to save the lives of thousands of innocent people. And as the madness unfolds around him, as hidden enemies step into the light, and as Valkyrie is sucked into a desperate, lawless quest of her own, he has no choice but to become the hero he never really wanted to be - or die in the attempt.

Ivory has the perfect man… …from his microchip processor to his flesh-like exterior. Ivory hated that she loved her Christmas gift this year. Her sister gave her the perfect humanoid companion, but there’s a huge problem: he’ll never be able to say he loves her, no matter how much she loves him. Was her dream man a present or a curse? But when Ethan (Ivory’s Dream Droid) looks at her with those sweet blue eyes and secretly earns enough money to enter her in the city-wide bake-off offering a prize she drools over, she realizes she doesn’t care. He’s hers, and that’s the best ...

In consequence of a number of stunning catastrophes, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a hideously miserable cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. He discovers that the Galaxy is not only mind-boggingly big and bewildering but also that most of the things that happen in it are staggeringly unfair.

A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune... it's a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk. Baker's Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet.

Watch out - the Earth just fell into a dark sun's orbit! Or maybe you'd rather visit a theme park called Hell? These are just two of the strange and unnerving tales you'll find in this collection of great science fiction and fantasy stories.