Funny Science Fiction

A Pi/Sci-Fi/Comedy/Thriller introducing Philip Humphrey Chandler as the socially inept hero who likes beer, coffee and breasts - but not necessarily in that order. Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle the perp to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. ...

"Between the pages of this book lies the secret to the best-tasting chocolate in all the world. I promise, your taste buds will tingle. Your palette will sing! Oh no, have I accidentally tempted you to read this book? I will warn you, however, the most delicious things are never good for you...and this story is particularly scrumptious!"

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

The eagerly awaited new audiobook from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart - the man behind the mega seller America (The Book). Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race.

While trying to stop a cyber-attacker stealing all Space Team's hard-earned money, the cyborg, Mech, unlocks a secret partition in his hard drive, revealing a mysterious set of coordinates. The co-ordinates lead the team to Funworld, a planet-sized theme park with a worrying number of artificially intelligent clownbots and a shocking disregard for Health & Safety. With no weapons, and a shapeshifter who can no longer shift-shape, Space Team's quest to unlock Funworld's mysteries leads them deep into the planet's core....

The Galactic Empire is missing its most precious resource: a sense of humor. Dax Bidet is just another unemployed, thirty-something slacker still living with his parents. Along with his best friend Buck, he spends his days making pranks and uploading them to social media. But things are about to take a drastic turn. When Dax and Buck are mistakenly abducted by aliens, they soon find themselves in a teeming galaxy sliding towards war. The only way to keep the peace is to regale the rebellious planets with… comedy. Dax has just been given the unenviable title of space clown. He has to ...

Every Winter, the human population hibernates. Your name is Charlie Worthing, and it's your first season with the Winter Consuls, the committed but mildly unhinged group of misfits who are responsible for ensuring the hibernatory safe passage of the sleeping masses. You are investigating an outbreak of viral dreams which you dismiss as nonsense; nothing more than a quirky artifact borne of the sleeping mind. When the dreams start to kill people, it's unsettling. When you get the dreams, too, it's weird. When they start to come true, you begin to doubt your sanity.

All his life, twelve-year-old Ben Grishop has been practically nonexistent. Hardly anyone knows who he is, he’s not good at anything no matter how hard he tries, and he blends into all chairs and benches. But when he and his friends Joe and Dana are abducted by aliens one fateful summer night, they have the chance to become famous for saving the universe. That is, if they can survive a planet full of giant, man-eating, French-speaking crabs, a pair of tuxedoed, gibberish-spouting men with handlebar mustaches, and the mysterious “immensely powerful, evil force from The Realm Beyond.” ...

When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.

Praise for Alice Crowley's writing: "I LOVED THE IMAGINATION OF THIS AUTHOR!" ~Satisfied Kindle Reader "FIVE STARS!" ~ Multiple Fans "Alice Crowley is one of our best living authors!" ~ G. Taylor Ciedre is just a young professional woman in the big city when she meets the hunk of her life named Shane, who rescues her from a gang of vampire aliens who are hell-bent on harvesting the blood of all earthlings. And to the victors go the spoils. After Shane saves the day, Ciedre demands he show her the ancient art of the erotic fist. And this mutant's fists are bigger than any mortal male's...

Collection of the first two bestselling Vampire Nation dystopian thrillers, including: VAMPIRE NATION (Book 1) Four hundred years into the future, in a dystopian world inside a sphere city called Vampire Nation, there are only three choices for humans: be turned into a vampire at the age of eighteen, become a breeder, or become a feeder slave. On the eve of her required turning ceremony, Ariana Waters has second thoughts about becoming a vampire. She won’t be able to bear natural daylight anymore... or have children. And she will not only be bound to obey their vampire creed, she might be...

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Harnessing planetary forces, Terramancers shape landscapes and avert natural disasters. But not this one. He collects rocks. Out of a job and on the run from his rainbow-haired adversary, the Terramancer is ready to jump to the next system and start again. Again. It’s not his fault he’s made more enemies than friends. Cutthroat pirates, ruthless socialites, and the ancient and powerful Terramantic Order all stand between him and escape. When he finds the most sought-after rock in the universe, it’s one problem he can’t get away from—the rock, it seems, has been waiting for him.

Rhett is strong. He’s heroic. He’s what every woman wants… …if only his wife would notice. Even without superpowers, Rhett fights side-by-side with Rayne, his superhero wife. Together, they’ve kept Summercoast safe for over eight years by defeating all sorts of dark forces. That was until now… There’s a new supervillain in town: a mad scientist with abilities this couple has never seen before. Dark Lightning is the first supervillain with powers stronger than Rayne’s, and the first villain that she can’t defeat. It’s like he knows everything about her—and it’s not ...

Need the perfect man? No problem—simply create him! Ivy wanted nothing more for Christmas than to have someone to come home to, a companion to chat about her day with, and someone to show off at her family holiday celebrations. Instead of wishing on a star, she takes matters into her own hands. Ivy creates her perfect companion at Dream Droids, the premier robotics company specializing in sentient humanoids. She spends weeks with Dr. Pierce, creating her dream man. Every detail is worked out, from his appearance, personality, and even his knowledge of her life. This will be the best ...

How far would you go to make your dreams come true? On Hal Spacejock's home planet, efficient and highly intelligent robots have taken most of the jobs. Hal's one of the lucky ones, because he works as a cargo loader at a third-rate spaceport. Lucky perhaps, but not satisfied. Because instead of loading freighters, Hal wants to fly them, exploring the galaxy in his very own ship. But how can he possibly save for a spaceship? Hal can barely make rent, and he's hanging onto his job by his fingernails. It all seems like an impossible dream, until Hal intervenes in a one-sided fight in the ...

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve. None of that is true. Yet. In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.

The Cryptids have started to kill a large amount of humans in the Upper Midwest. Banks' bosses told her not to call in the Cryptid Assassin.... He's too expensive. Now, the showdown between Taylor and the creatures will stop when one or the other is dead...and it isn't looking good for Taylor.

FIRST PRIZE: Firebird Awards - Best Time Travel Novel - 2024 FIRST PRIZE: Reader’s Choice: Best SciFi Time Travel Trilogy - 2023 Torn between factions in King Arthur's Court where he must choose between factions of the King, Sir Lanslod and/or the usurper Mordred, an accidental time traveler materializes as the only Jewish knight at the Oval Table, whose few friends are Mirgan the Witch and two stoner Venusians, and must decide whether to return the stolen Holy Grail to avoid being burned at the stake or risk being stranded where the food is even worse than modern day England. READER ...