Funny Science

"Slut" is a great word. It just sounds perfect—so sharp and clear and beautiful. It's one of those satisfying four letter words, like c--t and f--k. Slut also happens to be an anagram for lust, which is one of those divine coincidences that makes you wonder if God actually exists. We're lucky that slut is such a great word, because it's safe to say that almost every woman will be called a slut at least once in her lifetime. Despite a slowly shifting sexual double standard, it's still taboo to be a woman who's openly sexual—let alone one who sleeps around.

Mum and Dad have left—gone to Mars, and they’re never coming back. Freedom at last! But this isn’t one of Dad’s weird jokes; it’s REAL. It’s up to 10-year-old Eliza and her genius little brother, Johnnie, to find out what’s going on, and launch a rescue. Can they handle vampire squids, a suspicious villain, a secret island full of traps and a trip into space? And—more importantly—will they ever get their parents back?

Welcome to Other Worlds, the fourth volume in the Guys Read Library. Prepare yourself for 10 trips into the unknown, as 10 of your favorite writers spin tales of fantasy and science fiction the likes of which you have never imagined. Compiled by National Ambassador for Children's Literature (and Secret Ambassador for the Intergalactic Alliance) Jon Scieszka, Guys Read: Other Worlds is the most exciting collection of stories on this - or any other - planet.

Keep your head down. Don't make waves. Don't let anyone know you're a freak. Larissa Alvarez is a witch. Magic was useful enough to make her pretty, but beyond transformation runes, Larissa has ignored her mom's pleas to learn about her magical heritage on the grounds that it's just too weird. But when her family is killed, and the powerful book of runes Larissa was supposed to inherit disappears, she realizes she's not going to survive without magic. Worse still, she's falling in love with her only ally, her best friend Joe, who has a secret that could kill them both.

Meet Mars! The red planet. Planet Marvelous. Favorite sibling of Earth (or so he claims). Sometimes they're close (just 34.5 million miles apart). Sometimes they need space (250 million miles apart)! Earth and Mars have a lot in common - clouds, mountains, polar icecaps. And while Earth has Earthlings, Mars makes a persuasive case for why people should make the journey to spend time with him. His day is seven minutes longer! He is home to the largest volcano in the whole solar system. He's, well, marvelous.

Alex has a crush on the new teacher’s assistant, and he’s finally worked up the nerve to approach her. Too bad she’s crossed the University’s star player, and Duncan Shaw has no choice but to make her disappear. He plans to lay the blame on the local urban legend, but tonight he just might learn that some legends are real.

Would You Rather? Space Gamebook for Kids is an interactive gamebook jam-packed with more than 126+ challenging choices, funny jokes, silly scenarios, fascinating facts, and contains hours of hilarious family fun! Watch kids use their creative brainpower to answer questions that improve writing skills, reading comprehension, and verbal confidence. We even give them the ability to write their own would you rather questions!

When his friends aren’t successful at spooking the children who visit the haunted house, Gus must present his unique superpowers to give them a scare!

It's the 25th century, and the American President has taken over the world. Meanwhile, after a cleaner unplugged his cryogenic freezing machine by accident, Detective Inspector Capstan wakes up to find that he's been in a state of suspended animation for more than 400 years. As he's forced to adjust to life in the future, he finds himself reinstated as a policeman, and together with the great-great-great-great-grandson of his former subordinate, Sergeant Dewbush, he's put on the case of a missing cow.

In Geppetto’s Daughter, family bonds are stretched, various appendages are cut off, castle walls are breached, warranties are voided, space battles occur, jokes are made about pianists and, of course, a liberal amount of alcohol is consumed throughout. All this for your reading pleasure. This novel supports Amazon’s ‘look inside’ feature so if you like witty dialogue and interesting characters coupled with an absorbing story line click on the cover image and read a bit. If you like it, buy it. If you really like it, buy three or four. Geppetto’s Daughter is the third book in the ...

The Bull in the China Shop: The Use and Abuse of X-Rays You’ve had X-rays. Your dentist swears by them. Your doctor orders them “just in case.” But what if the world’s most routine medical procedure isn’t as harmless as everyone claims? In The Bull in the China Shop, author and critic Bill Jordan pulls back the lead curtain on one of the most overlooked health risks of modern times: medical radiation. Delivered in a style equal parts serious investigation and satirical romp — somewhere between a public health warning and a Monty Python sketch — this book takes you on a journey...

In this Caldecott Medal-winning tale set in Old Japan, a lively little woman who loves to laugh pursues her runaway dumpling - and must outwit the wicked three-eyed oni when she lands in their clutches.

Perfect the art of Schadenfreude from your own armchair as you wonder who left the lid of the idiot box open. Laugh at the dumb and dumber from the comfort of your own toilet seat. Wonder at the stupidity of man with hilarious anecdotes spanning time and history and culture.

Did you know that hamsters are only able to blink one eye at a time? Did you know the longest video game marathon ever recorded was 29 hours and 31 minutes? Did you know the earliest case of hearing loss documented in writing is from ancient Egypt in 1550 BC? In that era, people injected red lead, goat urine, olive oil, bat wings, and ant eggs in the ear canal in an attempt to cure bad hearing. In these 1,500 facts, you're going to learn more than you learned from all your high school teachers combined.

Title: "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid" Dumb and Dumber Meets the Three Stooges... Amateur cartoon trailer here: https://youtu.be/oE1t03nOej8 Get ready for a wild ride of laughter and chaos with "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid"! Meet Phuk, Blue, Dick, and Alice—a quirky foster family bound by their outrageous personalities and united by their mission to save the world from Nazi aliens. Phuk: The hot-headed Vietnamese telemarketer with a knack for martial arts and an explosive temper. Blue: ...

Space Traipse strikes again with this parody of ST: TAS “Yesteryear.” An away mission in time erases Ensign Ellie Doall, replacing her with a busybody alternate self that wreaks havoc across the Union. Now a vengeful warlord razes the galaxy on a mission to kill her, and her former friends are glad to help. Can Ellie stop her younger self from ruining their life? Cringe at the improbable character 'shipping. Learn the secret to the Impulsive’s Miracle Ensign. Watch Warlord Enigo LaFuentes put Khan to shame. Snag this Space Traipse adventure and let’s do the time plot as only the HMB...

Mordak isn't bad as far as goblin kings go, but when someone - or something - starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms, it puts his rule in serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet. Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a master's degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on Earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on.

An all-star team of 18 conservative writers offers a hilarious, insightful, sanctimony-free remix of William Bennett's The Book of Virtues - without parental controls. The Seven Deadly Virtues sits down next to listeners at the bar, buys them a drink, and, an hour or three later, ushers them into the revival tent without them even realizing it.

Ivory has the perfect man… …from his microchip processor to his flesh-like exterior. Ivory hated that she loved her Christmas gift this year. Her sister gave her the perfect humanoid companion, but there’s a huge problem: he’ll never be able to say he loves her, no matter how much she loves him. Was her dream man a present or a curse? But when Ethan (Ivory’s Dream Droid) looks at her with those sweet blue eyes and secretly earns enough money to enter her in the city-wide bake-off offering a prize she drools over, she realizes she doesn’t care. He’s hers, and that’s the best ...

These 75 flash nonfiction pieces, written by internationally celebrated women authors and dazzlingly hilarious newcomers, are no flashes in the pan: They provide a feast of insights, generously garnished with wit, spice, and an exhilarating attention to craft. In Fast Funny Women, you'll find everything you want from thoughtful essays in a short, delicious form. Perfect for students of writing, writers of humor, and all fans who welcome laughter, insight, and perspective into their lives.