Funny Shorts

Bleak Punchline Joke Book set the bar somewhere in the dirt and lost it. Bleak Punchline Joke Book II accidently came across the bar again and buried it deep in the grubby earth. Bleak Punchline Joke Book III, the final act of humourless hubris in the trilogy, forgets about the bar altogether and settles for the dirt. If you have endured Sammy Madden’s musings so far, feel free to repent and absolve yourself of wrongdoing, or, if that doesn’t suit your intellect, please, by all means, lie down and roll around with the remaining swine.

This is book filled with funny family stories that should make you laugh, smile, and then think of all of your own funny family stories from childhood into an adult. It is a wonderful thing to laugh and smile. May this book bring about both of those to the listener!

What’s worse than getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar? Enjoying the punishment. I’m supposed to be house sitting for Harlan Griffith. Tall, gorgeous and harboring some dark desires, Harlan is the stuff Spring Break dreams are made of Too bad he’s also my dad’s best friend. I’ve been in love with Harlan for as long as I can remember. His calm demeanor runs deep. So does my need for him to pound me like the surf. I’m all alone in his house for the first time ever. How much trouble can one good girl get into? Soaking Wet is book one of the sizzling summer Beach Quickies...

Seal Island is home to a moonshine-making billionaire, a pot-growing fisherman, a celebrity flower child, a handsome romance writer, a sex-addicted realtor, a womanizing pub owner, a cop, a pot-bellied pig…and a serial killer. The island is serene and remote. It is only accessible by boat. The residents like it that way, until those with the deepest and darkest of secrets start dying in the most bizarre of ways.

SWITCH BACK is a novella (about 1/3 of a full-length novel, about 4-5 times longer than a short story) and takes place prior to BOARD STIFF (Elliott Lisbon Mystery #1). After inheriting an entire town, Ballantyne Foundation Director, Elliott Lisbon, travels to Texas to thank them. She quickly learns they don’t want her gratitude, they want their town back. And they’re willing to kill for it. Trapped in a small town full of big suspects, Elliott must unlock their secrets, or she’ll never get out alive. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? Read the whole series and gets even better. - - -...

A Romantic Tourist Town, Cafés…and Dead People? Discover Miranda Rose Barker’s The Fatal Family Reunion Cozy Mystery When Conley George, a widely-disliked man in the small town of Sycamore Grove appears to be murdered during a family reunion, his errant soul comes to the only ghost whisperer in town, Eden Kyle. But the last thing she wants is to help this guy, dead or not. “Do you plan on staying in the kitchen the whole time?” I ask, putting the bat down and walking about the corner. “Ahh! What the -?” “He’s dead, Eden. Just like us.” “I know that. But why is he with ...

MY SPECIAL STAR Read it FREE as part of your Kindle Unlimited membership I couldn't sleep that night; I was wide awake, I heard a loud noise and I started to shake. Then I went out to the yard to look around, A very bright light was shining on the ground.

The Husband One last night turns into a whole hell of a lot more firsts. I’ve only ever slept with one man, my husband but when his work starts piling up to the ceiling, enough is enough. He knows he’s neglecting my needs in the bedroom but there’s not much we can do, there aren’t enough hours in the day. Divorce is imminent, so imminent that he’s moving his things across town as we speak. I can't resist him, he smells so good and tastes even better. His body turns me on. Then he makes a suggestion that will flip our life together upside down. Sleep with other men. With his ...

¡Si tan solo no estuviera tan solo! Leer este título de forma gratuita con tu suscripción ilimitado Kindle. Más allá de las más altas montañas, en bosques muy lejanos, Hay un paraíso sin tigres donde viven solo animales sanos. Se esconden de los salvajes depredadores y viven tranquilamente, Comiendo muchos vegetales y frutas, todo muy felizmente.

“Ese cepillo de dientes que tienes en la mano, De verdad que para mí es un villano. Demasiada pasta de dientes, un dulce necesito, Aliméntame por favor, al menos solo un poquito. Tu cepillo no me deja alcanzar lo que quiero, Deseo escarbar y taladrar un agujero, Sé que te dolería, pero no me importa, ¡Por favor, detente ya; mi ser ya no soporta!”

THE BEST NEST ******************** At night when Mom said to take a bath, And wash his hair with shampoo. He’d only wet his hair with water, And his mother never knew.

Eleven masters of suspense - Kelly Barnhill, Michael Buckley, Adam Gidwitz, Adele Griffin and Lisa Brown, Claire Legrand, Nikki Loftin, Daniel José Older, Dav Pilkey, R. L. Stine, and Rita Williams-Garcia - have come together to bring you a bone-chilling collection of original ghost stories, perfect for sharing around the campfire, listening under the covers with a flashlight, and scaring your friends' pants off.

Ripley Savage has felt diminished and marginalized his entire life. His overbearing mother has told him to be safe and not take risks. Other people in his life have provided little in the way of encouragement. Consequently, Ripley has lacked self confidence and an inability to assert himself. To cope with the disappointments of life, Ripley has created an imaginary alter ego named Rip. Whereas Ripley is meek and insecure, Rip Savage is strong, outgoing, confident and competent at every task he undertakes. Each time that Ripley faces a challenge in his life, he conjures up Rip. Rip always ...

Will the summer heat wave ignite passion’s flame between two very unlikely bedfellows? Or will the flickers of love go up in smoke when they're faced with a whole town full of trouble? My name is Katy Sinclair and the heat's on for me this summer, in more ways than one. First, my jealous ex-boyfriend has been chasing me all over the country. I’ve been pretty good at escaping his maneuvers so far, but it’s getting old fast. Especially since I’m a cat shifter, and I don’t have too many more of my nine lives left. After finding refuge with my favorite uncle Lionel in a place off the ...

Rachel Klein never meant to kiss her creative writing professor, but with his long eyelashes, his silky hair, and the sad, beautiful life he laid bare on Twitter, she does, and the kiss is very nice. Zahid Azzam never planned to become a houseguest in his student's sprawling Connecticut home, but with the sparkling swimming pool, the endless supply of Whole Foods strawberries, and Rachel's beautiful mother, he does, and the home is very nice.

What happens when kids on the Naughty List grow up to be really bad? Santa has a list of those, too. And you really, really don’t want to be on that list. Nope, not at all... Gangster Earl Winks is about to pay for his crimes. And will soon discover the Big Guy doesn’t mess around... Click BUY NOW or READ FOR FREE!

Welcome to Other Worlds, the fourth volume in the Guys Read Library. Prepare yourself for 10 trips into the unknown, as 10 of your favorite writers spin tales of fantasy and science fiction the likes of which you have never imagined. Compiled by National Ambassador for Children's Literature (and Secret Ambassador for the Intergalactic Alliance) Jon Scieszka, Guys Read: Other Worlds is the most exciting collection of stories on this - or any other - planet.

La Abuela Marta ******************* Una mañana soleada; con el cielo iluminado, El gato negro y el blanco afuera habían caminado; Para calentarse en el sol; toda esa tarde aprovechaban, Y los últimos días calurosos de junio así disfrutaban.

Gus has traveled out of state and up to the city of Seattle to visit his daughter. She’s sharing an apartment with two criminology majors. Naturally their thoughts turn toward talking about crime and they ask Gus to talk about one of his cases. Since he doesn’t want to discuss anything too recent or else his daughter might know the people involved, he digs down deep into his memory banks for the perfect case from his first year as a sheriff. It also just so happens to be the first case he crossed path with Father Xavier. As he remembers it, Gus was called in to investigate an apparent ...

Featuring personal tales originally prepared for a radio audience, My Time With You Has Been Short But Very Funny is infused with frenetic humour along with undertones of wistfulness and edgy sadness. In a series of sketches spanning two continents and seven decades, the author introduces listeners to a rollicking cast of characters from everyday life, including the iconic Pesticide Pete and Barbecue Billy, as well as a series of off-kilter incidents, both hilarious and disquieting.