Funny Shorts

A collection of short stories, rhymes and jokes from by Emma Holland, one of Australia's leading comedians. Easy to read and impossible to put down! Think a blanket knitted out of body hair; balls held hostage by a disgruntled neighbour; an awful lot of broken glass from a school with a daily window-smashing problem; mysteriously mayonaissed burgers. It's Paul Jennings meets Kate and Jol Temple meets the Worst Week Ever series.

Christmas in Colorado was a time for hotwives and Cassidy Hewitt was excited for her first time. Cass heard the whispers when she entered the room, a dimly lit bar filled with holiday cheer in her tiny hometown of Ledge Hill, Colorado. She was home for the holidays and out on the town, an impromptu class reunion with people she hadn’t seen in fifteen years. She’d been terrible about returning texts and keeping up with social media, and she hoped that would work to her advantage tonight. If nobody knew her, no one would have any idea what she was up to. Joe couldn’t look away and ...

It’s the first Christmas without their father, and Rán Hollander is determined to make it the most perfect Christmas ever for her family. She’s bought the huge turkey. She’s made the pieces for the gingerbread house and even found a perfect little Santa and Mrs. Santa for the doorstep.But then fate intervenes. The troubles start when Rán’s boss turns into Scrooge. Then the snowstorm of the century arrives and the turkey refuses to thaw. And that’s just the beginning. Join Rán for this uplifting, heart-warming tale of how an unexpected bunny, two lost girls, and a magic ...

Four years have passed. Four long years since Ava and Leo have been in the same room, since he drove away with her heart in his hands and never looked back. Ava wouldn’t know how to begin to make up for all the time she’s lost with her best friend, who also happens to be the man of her dreams. Leo’s life has only grown better. Reciprocity is living the good life; a song on a hit movie soundtrack, loads of girls at every stop, getting ready to co-headline their first major tour. He doesn’t let himself think about the past and the girl he let slip away all those years ago. Ava knows ...

Orla lives a carefree and contented existence. She enjoys visiting the library and taking strolls around town. She talks to herself and laughs aloud at whatever she finds humorous. As well, she likes to write; her stories a mashup of song lyrics and film plots the narrator finds most entertaining. Sometimes, Orla comes up with the idea for a play, and these, she takes to theatres all over Dublin. The staff in every establishment have gotten to know her, and have learned how to deal with her, then send her on her way. But one day, she encounters a manager who is new in the job. He invites ...

Jack and Sunnie take a much needed vacation to Chicago. For the first time since college, the whole gang is back together, including Sunnie's ex-boyfriend slash Jack's best friend, Ian. During a night of drinking, when everyone else has gone to bed, Sunnie, Jack and Ian are the last ones standing. Until two of them are no longer standing, but laying, on top of each other. Jack's never been more turned on in his life watching his wife with her ex-boyfriend, the only other man she's ever been with. Chicago was just the getaway that they needed. Share Me In Chicago is a dual POV first time, ...

It’s the tropical getaway they’ve all been wet dreaming about. From the second they arrive in Miami, it’s clear this won’t be the fun-filled week of activities Emmie’s been planning. They could get drunk in lounge chairs at home. She came to have a good time, with or without her husband by her side. Jackson regrets his decision to numb his fears of flying the second his best friend goes traipsing after his wife to the jet ski rental booth. Aaron’s not just Emmie’s ex-boyfriend, he was her first time, and the unfinished business between them creates a sexual tension so thick ...

En la selva tropical, la temporada de tormentas había iniciado La Señora Araña para ella y su hijo, refugio había buscado. El temporal estaba muy ventoso; truenos y lluvia caían En su casa, bajo las rocas, calientes y secos estarían.

A refrigerator repairman whose tools could accidentally destroy the planet. The best pot of chili ever, in the history of this or any other universe. Pizza so bad it’s been weaponized by aliens. Intergalactic Refrigerator Repairmen Seldom Carry Cash is a wild smorgasbord of dozens of delightful comic science fiction tales, with a healthy side of fantasy mixed in. Learn the delicious secrets of the universe through stories such as Amazingland, A Taste of Damsel, and Why I Bring a Bag Lunch Now. Thrill to the end of all things in Apocalyptic Nostrils of the Moon and Trailer Trash Savior. ...

Be entertained by these delightfully fun and funny dog stories.

El cazador ************** Un día caluroso de verano, frente al ventilador Estaba el gato blanco sudando por el fuerte calor De pronto, fuera de la ventana se quedó espiando A una pequeña ave que afuera estaba trinando Desde la espalda al frente, el gato se pudo estirar Y pensó: “¡Que buen día este para salir y cazar!”

Best friends share everything. Even their wives. I can’t believe he told him. My husband told his best friend about our little arrangement, I can tell by the smirk on his face. Is he… Is he turned on by the thought of me with his college roommate? The roommate who got caught with pictures of me in their shared dorm room? When Blaine’s girlfriend abruptly breaks up with him, Elliot and I come to his rescue. Maybe in more ways than one. While I was planning on helping him move across town, my husband has a better idea how to cheer up his best friend. Like, sharing me. It should feel ...

It’s Christmas time in the city, and Brooke is feeling a little frisky for Santa. Christmas Eve, dressed to kill, husband and wife venture out into the snow for a night neither of them will ever forget. When Mr. Claus crosses their path, out delivering toys to underprivileged kids, eyeing Brooke like he can’t resist her, who are they to deny St Nick himself? A boring, stuffy networking opportunity turns into a wild night hot enough to thaw the North Pole. Brooke’s flirtation becomes something decidedly riskier as Elliot keeps court in the other room. Soon, she’s stealing her husband...

Step into the past with Lee Mueller's captivating collection of short stories and novellas, offering an intimate glimpse into the life of Marvin Milstead and his experiences growing up in the Midwest during the late 1960s and early 1970s. As an only child, Marvin is left to his own devices, relying on his imagination and creativity to navigate the challenges of his surroundings. Each story offers a unique perspective on different moments in Marvin's life, providing a poignant reflection of the joys and struggles of adolescence. In "Kitties In The Garden," we witness the young protagonist's ...

A humorous sketch from Robert E. Kearns (author of A Donnybrook Affair, Crabb, Hy Brasil, Freedom is For the Few, Carnivore, Ossuary and Embers) which explores our frustrations with customer service departments and their apparent understanding of those frustrations. Fun and imaginative, perfect for the staging of a short play or a quick read. For anyone who has ever gone around in circles with a representative, this is the piece for you.

I was living the life of a normal ten-year-old until it all changed. The very moment it changed you ask? I would say it was the moment I escaped my bully Bull, but it could be the moment I ran through Binx. One moment I was just Rocky and the next I was the savior of humanity. Join us as we travel through time to collect all the pieces to lock up Mr. Moon the diabolical genus. If we fail life as we know it will be gone… Oh, and mystical creatures, Zombies, and the Angel of Death is all a part of the journey.

One last night turns into a whole lot more firsts. I’ve only loved one man, my husband, but when his work starts piling up to the ceiling, enough is enough. He knows he’s neglecting my needs but there aren’t enough hours in the day. Divorce is imminent, so imminent that he’s moving his things across town as we speak. But I can't resist him, he smells so good and tastes even better. Then he makes a suggestion that will flip our life together upside down. Be with other men. With his permission. Anyone I want, whenever I want, however I want. And he's going to help me get started. “...

The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch.

He’s the Chance I need to take. If it’s going to be anyone, it’s going to be Chance Alexander for my first time as a hotwife. The waiter worships the ground I walk on, is always attentive in his service, and tonight is no exception. How does he take such good care of me, knowing what I need before I even know I need it? He puts me at ease and the embarrassment fades from my mind. I can do this, he’ll help me. Chance wears a smile on his face and nothing else as he tortures every part of me in his college boy bedroom, taking control even though I’m old enough to have been his ...

Amaryllis is used to the unwanted attention but no one but her fiancé has ever come to her rescue, never made her feel as positively high as Gage Owens's attention does. He doesn't know how to control himself around her. All he wants to do is make Amy feel an ounce of the pleasure that she makes him feel when she looks at him like he's the savior of her universe. But that's not all she wants him to be and they both know it, even on the public beach in front of his Mexico home. Even though Cayden is willing to share her, Gage knows that letting her go when the sun comes up is not going to ...