Funny Southern

If you’re a thirty-year-old, Southern male from a Christian family and have never brought a girl home to meet Momma, then you must secretly be up to no good. And if you also happen to be an only son with five older, happily married sisters, the pressure to find the one and only love of your life is like digging through a pile of leaves for the pin to the grenade you’re holding. Those were the first two lines of the first video post of Mark Griffin’s to go viral, and his popularity has steadily risen over the two years since. He decides to use his platform to find someone to share ...

Luck had never been on Tangie Thomas’s side! If it had, then she wouldn’t be selling her so-called “lucky charms” to the unsuspecting townsfolk of Clio, Alabama. And believe-you-me, she’d much rather be doing just about anything else. But, what could she do when her luck was so bad it cost her job after job until she was left with nothing but her charming personality and a few pretty baubles? She’d opened her business, Charmed, I’m Sure, right out of her ancient, bewitched purse! And she’d been just naive enough to think things were starting to look up for her when lo-and-...

As a graduation present for her daughter, Tammy, Samantha Moon and the gang head down to South America for the vacation of all vacations. Of course, no vacation involving the vampire detective would be complete without a little mystery and mayhem. Or in this case, a lot of mystery mayhem! Enjoy the complete 6-story Latin Moon series in one easy-to-read volume. What's inside: 1. Incan Moon: First stop: Machu Picchu! For Samantha Moon, the breathtaking ruins hold more than meets the eye—let the adventure, mystery, and magic begin! 2. Xibalba Moon: Next stop: Xibalba—the Mayan Underworld! ...

This is a collection of twenty-nine short stories and is completely true and hardly exaggerates events as written, as fantastic as that may sound. As a kid living so far out in the country that the sun didn't rise until ten AM, I remember reading Mark Twain’s Life on the River and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and thinking of those stories as a documentary account of my life. I didn’t have a slave or float down the Mississippi on a raft, but I grew up with eight surviving siblings and got into more mischief than anyone would believe. Momma whipped my back and legs with a peach tree...

Do you want to join the ranks of the Intergalactic Diplomatic Corp. but don't know what to do? This book is for you. Learn all the tips and tricks for dealing with aliens across the universe. Start your new career now in the intergalactic diplomatic corp.

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

When Pegasus Quincy, sheriff’s deputy, steps into the leaky rowboat to investigate a murder at a mysterious artists’ colony, her troubles have just begun. A new detective blames Peg when she gets snake bit. A friend gets caught in a drug raid and asks Peg’s assistance. Her new roomie monopolizes the kitchen, until Peg’s coonhound Reckless eats too many French macarons. And then there is the cat lady who accuses Peg of stealing a valuable painting. Surely Peg wouldn’t do that, would she? Join Pegasus Quincy as she delves into the nefarious underworld of art auctions, mid-century ...

It’s another murder in the little town of Roble. But not to worry, Romaine and Auntie Zanne are on it! It’s the 100th Boule of the Distinguished Ladies’ Society of Voodoo Herbalists. They’ve gotten together to eat, drink, be merry and vote for the next Lesser Mambo, a lifetime appointment second only to the Most High (bet you’ll never guess who holds that position). But the second in command spot keeps becoming vacant—that’s because the women who fill it keep dying off. This time though, it looks like murder. During an alcohol-infused dinner and a tall glass full of absinth, a...

Eastbourne or Bust A not-at-all-serious account of one man, one bike, and the long, painful road to the coast. Ever thought cycling the South Downs Way would be a charming, leisurely jaunt through scenic countryside? Yeah, so did I. Idiot. What actually happened was a four-day, mud-splattered odyssey of mechanical failures, chalky cliffside death slides, possessed bike saddles, and a surprising number of historical detours involving Romans, smugglers, haunted windmills and at least one overly dramatic Victorian tunnel. Armed with questionable fitness, a half-functioning bicycle, and the ...

The stories of life as a missionary are seldom boring. Part hilarious memoir and part inspiring journal, Kitten in a Biscuit Tin is a unique and lovable escape. Filled with you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up tales of breastmilk surprises, roadside puking, and nightmare-inducing infestations, Kitten in a Biscuit Tin takes the reader inside the life of a missionary abroad in stomach-churning and gut-busting detail. Open a window into the larger world - and perhaps into your own journey - through these extraordinary tales of cultural confusion and quiet reflection.

"Maggie Aldrich will have you laughing till your side hurts all while keeping you on the edge of your seat in this action-packed, page turning small town cozy mystery!" - CarolAnn Williams - Booksprout Upon moving back to small town America, the last thing newbie reporter Jackie Robinson expects to discover is a dead body. And not just any dead body. Local football legend and popular native son Barry Bartmore - the "King" of Saddle Creek. Much to the chagrin of Officer Tony Torres, her first unrequited crush, Jackie puts on her reporter's hat and takes the case. She’s determined to write ...

Keen to become a great croquet player but need some encouragement and secret hacks to make you invincible? Do you dream of demolishing your competition with shining skills and winning jump shots? Then this book is for YOU. The author reveals dastardly little-known tactics from his expertise in “The Art of Devious Croquet.” Once learned and applied, they will ensure you: Never have to lose again. Never have to admit shamefully to your club captain you fluffed your jump shot on the 13th hoop. Never have to report that you or your team lost the match to visiting opponents. With a wicked ...

Kate and her best friend Marlene are attending the Palmetto Beach Flea Market in hopes of selling Marlene’s collection of 1950s memorabilia. Fortunately, a table has become available in the busy corridor just outside the circus tent. Unfortunately, the vacant table’s previous occupant died from electrocution when a television set took a dive into his bathtub. The police suspect foul play. And Kate suspects nearly every seller who had a table near the victim—and a motive to put him out of business. - - - - - - - - - - - - - DEATH IS A BARGAIN by Noreen Wald A Henery Press Mystery. If ...

(THE TONKS IN SPAIN containing SETTLING IN SPAIN and PROSPERING IN SPAIN is now also on sale at a reduced price.) Ken E. Tonks, husband of the celebrated travel writer Doreen B. Tonks, has finally put pen to paper to give his version of their first months in Spain, before recording the exciting events of the following spring and summer. Ken, usually a man of few words, bares his soul in this eventful narrative set on and around the Costa del Sol. His budding friendship with Fede the artist proves to be his passport into a life far removed from the insular expat community, and the singular ...

Dubious diamond devotees and a dead loan shark. With the dad she thought dead suspected of murder, can she keep him from doing hard time? Elizabeth Trout thinks she must have rocks in her head. After receiving a crazy call that the father she never knew is cooling his heels in the local jail, the newlywed graphic designer posts bail and invites him home. But the family reunion loses its luster when she learns her old man is under suspicion for murder after he was found near a corpse. With the sheriff zeroing in on her dad and no other suspects on ice, Elizabeth starts her own investigation ...

PLEASE NOTE- SNAPSHOTS IS NOT A PHOTO BOOK! Matthew Lightfoot attempted to write a book while travelling the world, using thirty years of travel snapshots to jog his memory. His present day adventures take us on a campervan journey across New Zealand, to being castaway on a Fijian Island, then from the mysterious nation of Paraguay, across the high Andes by bus to South America's Pacific coast. Along the way, a series of long forgotten images lead us on a photographic exploration of the author's past adventures around the world. Lightfoot attracts incidents and his tales embark on a fast-...

A one-night stand. An unwanted pregnancy. A life-changing experience. Zane Spencer can't hide from his mistakes anymore, so tail tucked between his legs, he returns home to Shiloh for a fresh start. He'll swallow his pride, go back to working on the farm he never should have left in the first place, and maybe one day he'll deserve to find a sweet girl to marry and raise a family of his own. No one will ever find out that instead of chasing his dreams with his band, he’d spent most of his time away as an Elvis impersonator. But a surprise that will change his life forever awaits him back ...

The trials and tribulations of owning dogs: maniacal Mastiffs, dodgy Boerboels, flatulent pavement specials, leg-humping Ridgebacks, hapless Jack Russells, useless watchdogs and a shady German Shepherd fill the pages of this book. Enjoy cautionary tales of miscreant farm dogs (and cats) told with humour and pathos and a great love of man’s best friend.

Do you want to help your players become better people? Do you want to become an RPG Life Coach? Do you want to level up in the game and in life? Then this book is for you. For the enlightened DM. A humorous journey to a better life for your players.

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where Santa's serving up murder for Christmas! Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City! Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry townsfolk, but a department store Santa Claus getting murdered outside her door was not what she wanted for Christmas! When a vengeful killer murders the wrong man by mistake, Dani must race to unmask the murderer and protect the true target before anyone else dies! Her landlord, ...