Humor Funny

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Ava Sharpe lost her wife five years ago and has been raising their twins alone since they were three years old. In need of change to try and move on with her life she decides to head back to her hometown of Seattle. She wasn't looking for love just trying to make a good life for her kids but then she runs into Sara Lance an acquaintance from High School who happens to be the Principal at her kids new school. She cannot seem to stop thinking about her, and her kids start to notice. Rekindling old friendships she left behind and trying to raise good human beings can be difficult but Ava is ...

Daughter of Major Derek Hargreaves (spy?) and June Hargreaves (spy's wife?) sister of Sara (born to be Head Girl) and Ben (the usurper), Jenny's comedy career took off via drama school, cider, sausage rolls, sleeping with men who looked like they lived under a carpet, punk poetry, anorexia, bedsit misery, waitressing and not really having a clue about anything. This was a world before microphones, mobile phones, before everyone gave up smoking or started taking coke. Jenny Eclair was on the comedy circuit before there really was a comedy circuit.

Things seemed in place for local reporter and empty nest witch Marzie Nowak. Broom, check. Wand, check. Coven, check. Vampire boyfriend? Checkity check check! But things aren't what they appear. Everything about her life is about to turn upside down. From a surprise visit from her boss to the re-upping of her mom duties, Marzie is just trying to keep it together. But then murder and a betrayal force Marzie to make a terrible choice and catch a killer before she loses everything.

This book will make you laugh! In these tense times of uncertainty and division, this remarkable book is just what the doctor ordered! The book is filled with hilarious and humorously told stories. A self-described nerd, the author recounts his experiences growing up in the '50s and the endless predicaments he has found himself in throughout his life. From spending formative years as a missionary in Japan to learning life lessons in Las Vegas, Mancini's antics seem never-ending. His days looking for love, as he says in all the wrong places, are very funny. You will surely laugh at the ...

Enseñando a los Niños a Tener Paciencia! En un día hermoso, con el sol que todo el cielo llenaba, Dos gatos vecinos se juntaron en un jardín que cerca estaba. En un clima cálido, donde el invierno había terminado, Respirando la primavera que las flores había germinado. Leslie Michan 5.0 out of 5 stars me gusto Verified Purchase Me recuerda a mi gato negro Winnie y mi gato blanco luna también se pelean abeses pero duermen juntas y juegan juntas Frances 5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book specially for the times we’re living It started like a complicated book for my 8-year-old English...

Welcome to the weirdest school year of Hector P. Blart’s life. One minute he’s just a regular 11-year-old trying to survive spelling tests and mystery meat lunches. The next? He’s dodging cursed homework assignments, haunted lockers, and a ghost substitute teacher who hasn’t checked out since the ‘90s. Oh, and let’s not forget Slime—the bookworm who’s literally a worm and may or may not eat overdue library cards. This is a suspense-packed, laugh-out-loud adventure perfect for boys (and brave girls) ages 9–12—or anyone with a 5th-grade reading comprehension level who ...

In a quiet neighborhood where pizza deliveries are as normal as forgotten homework, twelve-year-old Max Murdock discovers something no kid ever expects—a mysterious, glowing pizza box that follows him home. But this is no ordinary takeout. Inside the box lies a swirling portal to a vast and wildly unpredictable universe made entirely of living toppings, sauce-powered machines, and crust-based civilizations. Joined by his hilarious best friend Logan, a fearless classmate named GraceMarie, and the cryptic clues left by a banished flavor genius, Max is recruited into Za & Beyond—an ancient...

The Case of the Missing Homework follows the misadventures of Marie Lane, a clever and imaginative pre-teen, as she faces a crisis: her homework has mysteriously disappeared! On what should have been a regular morning, panic strikes when Marie discovers her hard work is missing just before it's due. Her usual confidence gives way to frantic searching, from her cluttered bedroom to her school locker, but the elusive assignment is nowhere to be found. Not one to give up, Marie enlists the help of her friends, Mia and Kevin. Together, they retrace Marie's steps, diving headfirst into a series ...

El tío Manuel pensaba que los días silenciosos eran los mejores, Se relajaba en casa con un libro y tenía descansos mayores. Las fiestas ruidosas no eran del agrado del tío Manuel, En su cumpleaños su familia lo sorprendía con un pastel.

100 Ways to Lose Your Man Card isn’t just a book—it’s a survival guide for the modern man who accidentally said “adorable” in a hardware store and now finds himself in emotional exile. From the first tear shed during a car commercial to the moment you called your bathrobe “cozy-chic,” this book unearths all the hilarious, unspoken violations of the mythical man code—and puts them right where they belong: front and center for everyone to laugh at. Including you. Especially you. You’ll find yourself somewhere in these pages, whether it’s using an umbrella in a light ...

Welcome to Camp Creepout. You know the place—the fog rolls in heavy, the trees whisper your name, and the canoes? Well, they have teeth. When 11-year-old Josh and his best friend Cooper arrive at Camp Creepout, they expect some hiking, s’mores, and maybe a few bug bites. What they don’t expect is to be stalked by a wooden monster with paddles for arms and a taste for rule-breaking campers. Now it’s up to a crew of goofy, terrified kids, a glowing-eyebrowed counselor, and a lot of marshmallows to stop an ancient canoe uprising before the entire camp is eaten—one bunkmate at a time....

Get ready for a rib-tickling ride with "Dad Jokes Unleashed: Hilarity for the Whole Family"! This side-splitting book is packed to the brim with the finest, cringe-worthy dad jokes that will have everyone in stitches. Brace yourselves for an uproarious adventure as you navigate through puns, wordplay, and the cheesiest humor known to mankind. Whether you're gathered around the dinner table, embarking on a road trip, or simply in need of a good laugh, this book is your go-to source for guaranteed amusement. With "Dad Jokes Unleashed: Hilarity for the Whole Family" in hand, prepare to unleash...

Funny You Should Ask... features the QI Elves' answers to 200 questions on topics ranging from goosebumps to gherkins and everything in-between. Generously sprinkled with mind-boggling extra facts from the Elves, this is essential listening for the incurably curious.

Sometimes there are just too many rules, even when you are set to be a ruler someday... Princess Pamela will one day be Queen of England, but all she really wants is a little freedom. So she escapes Buckingham palace, and adventure ensues... Escape from Buckingham Palace combines Arthurian legend and Leonard Wibberley's trademark humor to give the reader a wry commentary on government that's organized, nationalized, impersonalized, bureaucratized, and held together by red tape. Also published under the title, The Quest of Excalibur. "Few writers have so luxuriant an imagination as that ...

Growing old gracefully is for sissies! Laugh uproariously through your senior years! There's no shame in finding humor in getting older. Aches and pains are not much fun, your body looks totally different than it did just a few years ago, you deal with forgetfulness, and life changes at an ever-increasing rate. If you don't laugh, you'll be miserable. To help you find the humor in life's situations, the "Old Guy Joke Book" is chock-full of snappy one-liners, puns, groan-worthy gags, and hilarious story jokes. All are fun, family-friendly, and sure to draw a chuckle! It's the perfect gift ...

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity… Or, at least, that’s what Albert Einstein said. But I’m not sure I believe it because it seems everything in my life has gone to heck, but I have yet to find an opportunity in any of it. Things are going so bad, in fact, that I’m wondering if I’ve been cursed. Of course, I don’t really have any enemies, so who in the world would want to curse me? Not only that, but Wanda insists I’m not cursed so maybe this bad luck is just exactly that… bad luck? Well, one thing I do know is that life would be a whole heck of a lot easier if I ...

When Mercy Watson the pig goes missing, all of Deckawoo Drive is in an uproar. The Watsons are inconsolable, and the local police, fire, and animal control departments are no help whatsoever. Bossy neighbor Eugenia Lincoln is not quite as sad as she might be, but thankfully her sister, Baby Lincoln, has the idea to hire a private investigator. Granted, Percival Smidgely, PI, may be more bumbler than gumshoe, but his pigeon, Polly, is there to point the way.

Laugh out loud! Jim Weiss mixes together some of the funniest stories and poems from the world's wittiest authors for a recording that delights the entire family.

Everything’s just going to pieces… I got me a real important job. Important because I need to make my boss, Mr. Howard, happy with me like yesterday. It’s no secret that Mr. Howard has never liked me, but if he fires me? Well, I’m sure that will mean the end of Cain Morgan’s ghost taking up residency inside my head. See, Cain shares my body all because he’s supposed to be helping Taliyah settle into her job as the new Chief of Police. And though Taliyah’s pretty well settled by now (by my way of thinking), no one’s said anything about moving Cain on to the other side. And I ...