Humor Funny

My new remodeling client is about to get the upgrade of his life. It isn’t every day I arrive at a worksite to find my new client is the deputy who gave me a traffic ticket the day before. It is fairly normal for people to be taken aback when they find a petite redhead in overalls on their doorstep, ready to renovate their house. That'd be me, and it's so awkward. Every. Single. Time. Whatever. I'll show Clint by virtue of my work ethic and skills that I'm the right woman for the job. Of course, if a fortune cookie paper predicting that we'd fall in love didn't slip out of the air duct, ...

Have you ever wondered why we say, “It’s raining cats and dogs” and other funny old sayings like, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”? Often we know what they mean, but do we know where they originated? Well in this book, you are about to find out! For example, when we want to wish someone a good nights sleep, people often say, “Night night, sleep tight.” Who would have thought that this dates back to Shakespeare’s time, when mattresses were secured onto a bed frame by ropes. In order to make the bed firmer and more comfortable, people would have to pull on the ropes to...

`Laugh out loud funny,' said Golf World. This is a book about people who lose balls, clubs, tempers and, on occasion, the course they're supposed to be playing; people who feel they are doing well if the ball they hit on the 18th green is the same ball they drove off the first tee. `Anyone who has played golf - or tried to play golf - will find this addictive book unputdownable. Highly recommended.' Sunday Times bestselling author Vernon Coleman has been a professional author for over 40 years. His hugely popular books have sold over two million hardback and paperback copies in the UK alone...

In the hills of Appalachia, humor and wisdom are mixed up forever in funny, wise stories that seem to grow more lustrous with each telling. Here are two of the best: "Uncle Frank Invents the Electron Microphone", Appalachian folk wisdom rolled into one of Davis' funniest stories; "Uncle Frank and the Crown Feed Boys", Davis' legendary Uncle Frank teaches a couple of traveling salesmen the lesson of their lives.

I got 99 problems, but the witch ain’t one of ‘em… Right. First problem? Maverick and his bad attitude are going to cause the death of me. Thank God he’s got Taliyah to keep him somewhat sane because otherwise, I’d start pulling my hair out. Not only is Maverick cramping my style big time, but then there’s the fact that I have to pretend that I’ve been turned into a vampire, so going out in the daytime is no longer a possibility. And try being High Witch to your coven when you can only come out at night… Meanwhile, I’m doing my very best to get Imani to join our ranks, and...

Every Winter, the human population hibernates. Your name is Charlie Worthing, and it's your first season with the Winter Consuls, the committed but mildly unhinged group of misfits who are responsible for ensuring the hibernatory safe passage of the sleeping masses. You are investigating an outbreak of viral dreams which you dismiss as nonsense; nothing more than a quirky artifact borne of the sleeping mind. When the dreams start to kill people, it's unsettling. When you get the dreams, too, it's weird. When they start to come true, you begin to doubt your sanity.

A missing manuscript and a dead author spell a narrative of chaos in Bloomsville. When reclusive author Ashton Blackwood is found lifeless at Shelf Indulgence, I’m drawn into a plot twist thicker than the most intricate novel. I’m Grace Thompson—florist by trade, sleuth by necessity. Rosie, my terrier with a nose for mysteries, sniffs out intrigue, guiding me to characters ranging from rival authors to disgruntled editors. The stakes rise higher than a climactic chapter as I join forces with Chloe, my forensic partner. Sheriff Waverly admits this mystery is more baffling than a poorly...

Mountain Men of Knotty Wood Ridge 1-4: From Amazon #1 Best-Selling Author Regina Wade comes the highly-anticipated four-book Mountain Man bundle. Rugged terrain. Untamed Wilderness. There’s just something about an alpha mountain man and the innocent heroines that love them! Come up into the mountains of Knotty Wood Ridge, where the men are possessive, the women are curvy and the stories are steamy enough to melt the snow. Includes all epilogues and extended epilogues from the Number One Amazon Release Mountain Man Along with all three exciting follow ups: Mountain Daddy Mountain Cowboy ...

When Stanley Lambchop awakes one morning, his brother, Arthur, is yelling. A bulletin board has fallen on Stanley during the night, now he is only half an inch thick!

Can a marriage of convenience uncover the truth? Merle Larsen doesn't believe in love. But he needs a wife to inherit the ranch, and the waitress at the local diner seems to be single, sweet, and not expecting too much of life. He can't offer his heart, but he can offer to take care of her. Lu is glad to have snagged a waitress job in a small town where nobody knows her. It's safe, but lonely... At least she can dream about the rugged cowboy at table four, even though he belongs to the town's most powerful family. When Merle asks Lu for a loveless marriage of convenience, she can't make ...

Jim Wekle's first day as a trooper on an island in Alaska could have gone better. It was raining, the coffee was bad, and within hours of stepping off the seaplane, he found a bikini-clad girl floating in a kelp bed. As Jim investigates who might have put the bullet in her back, he stumbles across a uniquely diverse and extraordinarily hilarious batch of island inhabitants. Puffing on his imported cigars, Jim soon learns that no one on the island is more unique, diverse, or hilarious than his unlikely counterpart: a man simply known as Kram.

Was it a typo when the CEO mandated that the organization "institutionalize incompetents"? If not, how did the company wind up institutionalizing incompetence instead? How to Work for an Idiot is still the confessions of a recovering Idiot Boss. After decades of writing and consulting, Dr. Hoover finally realized that many of the people he kept trying to "energize" and "enlighten" were, well, idiots. More importantly, he was an idiot for thinking he could change them. This new edition is bigger and better - and filled with even more idiots - than before.

The New Mrs D: An Amazon No1 Best Seller. "After The Midnight Library, The 5th Woman, and Olive, Again... Meet The New Mrs D – The Sharp, Heartfelt and Uplifting Reinvention of a Woman Breaking Free. 'Wine-spittingly, chocolate-chokingly brilliant! Hill is the Tom Sharpe of her era! Genuinely laugh out loud funny with great writing and a plot to keep you hooked. Buy it, read it - but if like me you are of a certain age, do so with an empty bladder." – Amanda Prowse, author of The Idea of You and What Have I Done. Bernice Dando thought she had the perfect honeymoon planned in sunny ...

Laughs and tears abound in this 13th installment of the Twisp family saga. Geniuses bloom, marriages totter, narcissism runs rampant, and Christmas arrives early. Join the Twisps for another riotous summer in Los Angeles, where nothing goes as planned and the cops arrive regularly with sirens blaring. This latest Twispian adventure can be enjoyed as part of the acclaimed “Youth in Revolt” series or read on its own. As always, familiarity with the previous novels is not required.

The daughter of a Taiwanese father and white mother, Vi Liu has never quite fit into her Midwestern college town. Aimless after getting dumped by her boyfriend and dropping out of college, Vi works at the front desk of a hotel where she greets guests, refills cucumber water samovars, and tries to evade her bubbly blond coworker, Rachel. Little does Vi know her life is about to be permanently transformed when she agrees to a night out with Rachel. In the alley outside the bar, Vi discovers a strange blob—a small living creature with beady black eyes.

My brother’s best friend is dangerous, brutal, and violent. I’m about to beg him to pop my cherry. I’ve known Declan “Babyface” Cane for a long time. The championship-winning boxer is big, bad, and broody. He’s also completely off-limits. Saying no to Declan should be easy. But the champ hasn’t lost a fight yet. And I’m no match for big brown eyes and a great pair of mitts. One kiss and I’m down for the count. Can I survive falling for my brother’s best friend— Or is my heart asking for a Love TKO?

Prophecy claims the apocalypse is neigh. To prevent a cataclysm, agents from all six factions converge on Gacestone to destroy the Chaos Core and kill its Founder. Meanwhile, in a struggle for potential life-saving power, Seth and his party turn to an ancient structure lying deep beneath the Chaos Dungeon, which doesn't let their expedition go unnoticed. See whether the new Chaos faction thrives or collapses under the pressure of Chaos Overwhelming.

If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.

After scoring big on national TV in the semifinals contest, everyone back home is jumping on the Jamie Grimm bandwagon, and all the attention might be going to his head. Not only are his friendships starting to suffer, but the pressure of coming up with his best material ever for the ultimate standup act to snag the final win in Hollywood is pushing Jamie to the brink. Suddenly, life isn't looking very funny anymore. Can Jamie take the grand prize without pushing away his fans, friends, and family?

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...