Humor Funny

30 seconds. It’s the highlight of my pathetic days. The 30 seconds when I ring her up at the cash register. For some reason, the way she holds out her coupons stirs something inside me. With a big body like this, women only like me for my money. But she’d never like me - she thinks I’m poor. -Lloyd I need money. I need a job. I most definitely DON’T need to romantically entangle myself with that big cashier at the grocery store, even if he is just my type: Lumberjack hefty. When he gets me a job though, part of me wonders if I’ll be able to keep my hands off of him, even though ...

Are you ready to challenge your family with some of the wackiest and funniest questions ever?Think you know everything about your family and friends? Well, get ready for a fun surprise! Imagine this: Would you rather live in a house made of candy or ride a rollercoaster to school every day? Sounds fun, right? In today’s fast-paced world, quality family time can be hard to come by. Instead of bonding, we often find ourselves glued to screens or distracted by our busy lives. In fact, recent studies reveal that most people, including kids, spend hours a day in front of screens. But don’t ...

Across the land, normal people are suddenly developing wild and unstable powers. Infected by a rare strain of magic, they are unwittingly endangering their own lives and the lives of the people around them. Terrified and confused, their only hope lies with the Sanctuary. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are needed now more than ever. And then there’s the small matter of Kitana. A normal teenage girl who, along with her normal teenage friends, becomes infected. Becomes powerful. Becomes corrupted.

A missing manuscript and a dead author spell a narrative of chaos in Bloomsville. When reclusive author Ashton Blackwood is found lifeless at Shelf Indulgence, I’m drawn into a plot twist thicker than the most intricate novel. I’m Grace Thompson—florist by trade, sleuth by necessity. Rosie, my terrier with a nose for mysteries, sniffs out intrigue, guiding me to characters ranging from rival authors to disgruntled editors. The stakes rise higher than a climactic chapter as I join forces with Chloe, my forensic partner. Sheriff Waverly admits this mystery is more baffling than a poorly...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from bestsellers HP Mallory and JR Rain! I’ve been hired to protect the weregator community, just outside Misty Hollow, from whatever is living in the swamp—something that continues to claim lives. Why would a group of machismo gators need the protection of a woman like me? Easy—I’m a gorgon, and with my stare that can turn any creature into stone, I’m basically at the top of the supernatural food chain. But when six more weregator youth go missing, we all realize there’s something inside the swamp that’s bigger than all of us. In fear for our ...

Alan Zweibel started his comedy career selling jokes for seven dollars apiece to the last of the Borscht Belt standups. Then one night, despite bombing on stage, he caught the attention of Lorne Michaels and became one of the first writers at Saturday Night Live, where he penned classic material for Gilda Radner, John Belushi, and all of the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players. From SNL, he went on to have a hand in a series of landmark shows - from It’s Garry Shandling’s Show to Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Fiction. Based on a true story Sebastian had man-boobs, and life was a bummer…until he discovered an online community of Pickup Artists. Moving to Montreal he stumbles into a world of parties, sex, drugs, and drama—only to emerge with a new, but questionable understanding of himself, women, and the human condition. What compels a man to relentlessly flirt for sport, and at what cost? A Thousand Tiny Failures is a hilarious and addicting novel, for men who want to improve, and women who want to understand.

Years of being a stripper have left me jaded, seeing men as nothing more than walking ATMs with two brain cells - one for their wallet and one for their zipper. That is, until Uri walks into my life. But this heavyweight boxing champion, with a heavy wallet to match his heavy body, is judging me as harshly as I judge men. Note: This is a stand-alone, steamy, fake dating billionaire romance, with character overlap from Short King, Secret Billionaire, and Love Crime. Heavyweight Billionaire was previously published as Stripper Billionaire but it is much changed and much expanded.

Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.

A food thief is on the loose in the Five Streets—and only one cat is clever enough to catch them. Jack is no ordinary feline. He knows every alley, scent, and secret across the Five Streets. When food begins vanishing from trusted hideaways and no cat will talk, Jack takes the case. He is determined to uncover who, or what, is behind the thefts that are shaking the balance of power in his once orderly world. But as Jack digs deeper, he uncovers something more sinister than hunger. Whispers of betrayal. Shadows that move without sound. A threat that could change everything the street cats ...

Are you tired of feeling like a gym douchebag? Do you want to cultivate a more mindful, respectful approach to your workouts and fitness journey? Look no further than 30 Days to Stop Being a Gym Douchebag. This comprehensive workbook offers a practical and effective mindfulness program designed to help you transform your gym habits and become a more mindful, respectful member of your fitness community. With 30 unique mindfulness exercises, each accompanied by a corresponding hashtag that allows you to connect with others and share your insights online, this workbook provides a step-by-step ...

The world has gone overboard with toxic positivity. Every time we scroll through social media, watch a talk show, or browse the latest self-help books, we're inundated with feel-good messages that oversimplify life’s challenges. It’s time to get real. It’s time to embrace imperfection and humanity instead of chasing unattainable ideals. This book takes a satirical and rational approach to debunking the endless stream of unrealistic motivational messages and memes we’re bombarded with daily. Rational Responses to Motivational Memes and Other Positive Bullsh*t will enlighten you with ...

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

Sunday Times bestselling author Vernon Coleman travels through England, from Sidmouth in the south, to Buxton in the north. In this offbeat travel book with a difference the author is looking for evidence that England and the English are still alive, kicking and eccentric. He travels to Taunton, Wells, Lacock, Cheltenham, Hereford, Stratford upon Avon, Bakewell and Buxton. He visits Stroud, Gloucester and Eyam and meets some extraordinary characters. On the way he investigates cheese rolling and shin kicking and discovers the difference between a city and a town. He reveals the surprising ...

Jews have a centuries-old tradition of telling jokes, from the ghettos of Europe to Hollywood and the Catskills. Jewish jokes are entertainment, the oral history of a culture, insightful social criticism, and survival tactic rolled into one. In 2008, Hollywood director and producer Sam Hoffman launched a website called Old Jews Telling Jokes. It’s just what it says: Jewish men and women over 60 sharing their favorite stories, tales, riddles, and punchlines.

Book One in the Maggie Kelly Mystery Series by New York Times Bestselling Author Kasey Michaels Maggie Kelly, writing as Cleo Dooley (she thinks O's look good on a book cover), is the author of the best selling St. Just Mystery Series set in the English Regency Era. This should make her a happy woman, and it does, mostly. Professionally, she's a hit. Personally? No, not so much. But never fear, a hero has come to rescue her from her dull, boring, and faintly neurotic existence. The only problem is that said hero is Alexandre Blake, Viscount St. Just, her fictional hero, in all his handsome,...

Asher the Carpenter This angel walked into my life when her car broke down in Cherrycrush. It was Instalust and Instalove, but then she crushed it when she said small town life wasn’t for her. She had to go to NYC. The only thing worse than losing her would be to steal her dreams, make her live a life of “what if”. Better I live a life of misery, than steal my dream girl's dreams. But I fell in instalust and instalove the second I met her. Now all I can do is curse a world that is determined to keep us apart. Riley the City Girl A final college adventure: A roadtrip to NYC for my big ...

Elle Chambers thought the worst was behind her, but peace with the coven comes at a price. When three of the country’s most powerful witches arrive in Edinburgh to negotiate a formal treaty, Elle finds herself thrust into a leadership role she never wanted. The coven expects rules, responsibilities, and territory boundaries. Elle just wants to keep her people safe and uncover the truth behind her mother’s death. As tensions rise, Elle is handed a supernatural case that hits too close to home. An archaeological dig has gone violently wrong, unleashing ghostly figures and unexplained ...

The Galactic Empire is missing its most precious resource: a sense of humor. Dax Bidet is just another unemployed, thirty-something slacker still living with his parents. Along with his best friend Buck, he spends his days making pranks and uploading them to social media. But things are about to take a drastic turn. When Dax and Buck are mistakenly abducted by aliens, they soon find themselves in a teeming galaxy sliding towards war. The only way to keep the peace is to regale the rebellious planets with… comedy. Dax has just been given the unenviable title of space clown. He has to ...

This is the second of Edward Vernon's books about a young GP. (Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.) Set in the 1970s, in a small town in the English midlands, the book describes the medical misadventures of a young, harassed GP who is learning on the job. There's the embarrassed vicar with the guilty secret, the private patient who pays him to keep her ill, a beautiful young patient who insists on being examined in the bath, a six year old marble swallower and an a difficult encounter with a patient who can't speak a word of English. A huge hit in the UK and ...