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Please do NOT buy this expecting a Bilbury style book! The fourth in Vernon Coleman's series of diaries. (The other four books are: 'Diary of a Disgruntled Man', 'Just Another Bloody Year' and 'Bugger Off and Leave Me Alone'' and 'Life on the Edge'). A book for the politically incorrect who can question and laugh at the absurdities of modern life. Warning:This book contains considerable quantities of irony and English humour, and some readers may be allergic to the contents. What the papers say about Vernon Coleman: 'Coleman is a very funny writer' - This England 'Superstar' - Independent ...

Sarah was just trying to stop her dungeon from collapsing. Now she’s rewriting reality. What began as a bureaucratic headache has exploded into metaphysical mayhem. As a hybrid dungeon core with a snark problem and too much cosmic power, Sarah is evolving into something no one—kingdoms, liches, or the laws of magic—can define. The magical Compact is cracking. Archives are collapsing. And the Lich Lord Kravix? He’s one ritual away from turning the world into his ascension playground. Armed with a crumbling dungeon, glitchy golden glyphs, and a desperate need for five minutes of peace...

I head into my favorite diner for breakfast. What I find is a curvy, innocent snack in need of rescue. Saving her is not just my job, it’s now my purpose. She doesn’t know it yet, but Sage Hudson belongs with me. Protecting her is my future. I just have to convince her to give love a shot. License and Registration, Readers! Jax is a country cop with a Texas-sized heart and the GUN to match.This quick and steamy read packs major heat and a guaranteed HEA. No cliffhangers or resisting arrest here! Just keep your hands on the wheel and the cuffs handy.

What would you do if, after years of what you thought was a happy marriage, your husband suddenly announced he was leaving you for good? Anna is in her fifties and is living a contented life. Their children have left home and she and her husband work at the same school. One day, a perfectly ordinary day (or so she thought) they are sitting on a bench during a walk with their beloved Labrador and David drops a devastating bombshell: he’s fallen in love with a colleague and is leaving her. At first, she wants to hide herself away, but, with the help of her friend and her daughter, she ...

When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.

After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In this second novel in the series, a library book goes missing. Not just any book but the true story of what happened in Eden, among other true stories certain humans and angels don't want told. I have to find this book.

Get ready for a hilarious, fart-filled adventure with Ford Foghorn in *The Fart Activated Monster: The Hunt For Blue Blob. This action-packed series will leave young readers laughing out loud and begging for more. Ford Foghorn is still getting used to his new life as a Fart Activated Monster. During a camping trip with the Boy Scouts on Mount Methane, he accidentally eats a bowl of chili beans, sending his fart gas into overdrive. When Ford transforms into his blue monster form, his friends mistake him for the legendary Blue Blob Monster. As the Scouts turn into a lynch mob, Ford must find ...

Being possessed is no walk in the park. Especially when the roommate in your head happens to be a witch that a lot of people want dead—as in the ‘doornail’ sort of dead. Indigo Hallewell, the witch within me, is the exact reason I very nearly met my fate once already. I was able to narrowly escape that debacle owing to my very sexy guardian, Angelo, who also happens to be an incubus. And in case you aren’t sure what an incubus is—it’s a sex demon. Right. I’m literally shacked up with a sex demon. Only this one seems to have a conscience—maybe that’s the reason he hasn’t ...

Book 6: the librarian of the supernatural town of Eden faces his greatest challenge yet when a powerful being abducts residents in what turns out to be an act of revenge. With the help of his hellhound companion, Fluffy, and his allies (the ghostbusters, the witch Olive, and the werewolf) Rip Van Winkle, Kevin must confront the monster and prevent it from exacting its revenge on Eden. Meanwhile, Kevin grapples with his own destiny as the anti-Christ and the looming threat of Armageddon.

An all-new collection of eight "Vampire for Hire" short stories featuring everyone's favorite vampire detective, Samantha Moon! It’s all inside, including: Vampire Requiem - Samantha Moon gets up close and personal with her dead ex-husband’s mistress, Nancy, who might be a woman who knows too much. Moon Love - Sam and Kingsley Fulcrum set their sights on a romantic weekend getaway to Big Bear, California, only to find themselves on the hunt for a runaway boy. Moon Musings - Sam is back and... blogging? Turns out the vampire mama has a lot to say on the subject of life, death, and ...

The last kids may have escaped the forbidden fortress by the skin of their teeth, but there isn't much to celebrate. Thrull has what he needs to complete the Tower, Rezzoch will most certainly come to Earth, and the world as they know it will cease to exist. Except Jack's Cosmic Hand is now even more powerful than he realized, and it might just be able to stop the inevitable from happening. To get the answers he seeks, he'll need to travel farther than he's ever been. He must go...to the monster dimension!

The eagerly awaited new audiobook from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart - the man behind the mega seller America (The Book). Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race.

We hate to admit it, but we all love a Dad Joke. Whether it brightened up the mood at the dinner table or embarrassed a few kids around their friends. However I have noticed the same Dad Jokes are being used, and it's time to spice things up to the next level for more eye rolls... or you could say more knee slappers. Covering over 400+ Dad Jokes you will be despised just that little bit more. Enjoy the most hilarious or stupid (however you put it) jokes known to mankind and when you’ve finished, spread the laughter. Buy some glue, cut up the pages and stick them on strangers. That way, the joke's on them.

Devastatingly handsome and insanely rich, Farrell Covington is capable of anything and impossible to resist. He’s a clear-eyed romantic, an aesthete but not a snob, self-indulgent yet wildly generous. As the son of one of the country’s most powerful and deeply conservative families, the world could be his. But when he falls for Nate Reminger, an aspiring writer from a nice Jewish family in Piscataway, New Jersey, the results are passionate and catastrophic. Together, the two embark on a unique romance that spans half a century.

Not all scars show Some wounds take time Clint This is my mountain. I grew up on Knotty Wood Ridge So when I had to walk away from my life as an Army Ranger, there was only one place to go— Home. The mountains of Colorado are wild and untamed. So is Chloe. I’ve never met anyone like the curvy brunette. As innocent and resolved as the wildflowers she’s determined to document. I came to the ridge to be alone. But I can’t hide from her. Welcome to Knotty Wood Ridge, Reader! Chloe is a nature photographer in search of an untamed mountain of a man. Clint is wild, free, and big enough to ...

Nikki and her friends, Brandon, Chloe, and Zoey, are up for another adventure in the 11th book in the number-one New York Times best-selling Dork Diaries series.

I’m the chosen one... ...wait – what?? Okay, not the chosen one, but I’m the newest member of the Sorority of Brigid, a group of witches tasked to keep other witches safe and secret. At twenty-one, some days I don’t even feel up to defending my breakfast choices, never mind the witches of New Hampshire. The Fraternity of Free Witches has a different plan. Of course they do. Was there ever a secret group that didn’t have a rival? Rather than play nicely, they want to rule the world but I’m not about to let that happen. If they get their way, it’s going to be very bad for the ...

Nicky has freckles - they cover his face, his ears, and the whole back of his neck. Sitting behind him in class, Andrew once counted 86 of them, and that was just a start! If Andrew had freckles like Nicky, his mother would never know if his neck was dirty. One day after school, Andrew works up enough courage to ask Nicky where he got his freckles. When know-it-all Sharon overhears, she offers Andrew her secret freckle-juice recipe - if he pays. Andrew is desperate and feels it's worth it. At home he carefully mixes the strange combination of ingredients. Then the unexpected happens.

Addrienne is surprised to learn that a Bed and Breakfast association from England is holding their annual conference on board the ship. She's excited to meet some of the vendors, especially those who supply desserts and other snacks to the B&Bs, and are offering some of their samples to cruise participants... Unfortunately, it's not all fun and games when the former head of the association is found murdered - and Addi and her friends must uncover the killer before the cruise ends!

Big Nate is going for broke! Mighty Jefferson Middle School always wins. Then Nate decides it's time to go from zeroes to heroes! Will Nate crack under the pressure of the "Ultimate Snowdown"? Or lead P.S. 38 to its biggest victory ever?