Humor Kids

Some vampires sparkle. Some brood. Bartholomew Black just wants to nap. He’s the oldest vampire in the world—grumpy, ancient, and occasionally forgetful. For centuries, he’s avoided the spotlight (and garlic) by hiding out in a castle with his overly chatty bat companion, Kevin. But when a mysterious visitor shatters his eternal snooze, Bartholomew is thrust back into a world of deadly secrets, creepy mirrors, undead politics, and one very sarcastic were-hamster. And that’s before the mimic shows up. Bite Me is a dark, dramatic, and wickedly funny adventure into the shadows of ...

This is the fourth and final chapter in the western saga of Wildcat Kitty and The Cyclone Kid. It tells the complete story of how it all began and how all ends with the creation of a legend that lives forever.This is the story of an unlikely 'good' outlaw gang of old men, led by a young girl and her grandfather. With humor, romance, suspense and high adventure, The Wildcat Gang fights to bring law and order to the old west while finding a place in history and legend. Ride one last time with the legends.

Judy Glassman lives with her brother, Kenny, and father, Noah, in a village at the foot of Evil Rock. Every winter, Kenny accompanies their dad up to the mansion at the top of the mountain to assist the rich, eccentric Grendel family with their house repairs. But this year, Judy convinces her dad to let her come, too. Judy has heard whispers about the Beast of Evil Rock - a half-human creature who stalks the crags. And she's determined to find out for herself if it's true. Will Judy discover the secret of Evil Rock before the Beast finds her first?

Middle-schooler Greg Heffley charts the rise of his teenage brother's band, Löded Diper, as they live out their rock-and-roll dreams. But things could get messy for Greg and Rodrick when the Diper hits the road.

It's Hallowe'en in Marshland, and Marshland Baptist Church has narrowly dodged the plethora of preachers who forbid this scary holiday. The celebrations will continue! But one young man in the youth group has evil on his mind, while others are envying the wealthy Presbyterians. They are playing paintball all night long for prizes, while the poorer Baptists are toasting marshmallows and taking their little brothers and sisters out trick or treating. Dark plans are brewing out in the windswept marshes, and one young lady is being led astray. Will Jack Daniels realize what is going on and save...

Grownups make no sense at all. They’re nuts about babies, but they tell their 9-year-olds to be more mature. They complain constantly about how old they are, and then they tell their kids to grow up. So when Iggy’s mom and dad say he can’t have a puppy because he’s not mature and responsible, Iggy develops an excellent plan to prove them wrong. Like any great plan, it involves secrecy, strategy, and a chinchilla. There’s also some screaming, but that’s not Iggy’s fault.

A super-duper dog show is Brother and Sister Bear’s greatest idea yet. What could possibly go wrong? Find out what happens when Too-Tall and the gang decide to crash the big show. This engaging audio chapter book features all your favorite Berenstain Bear family and friends. Dogs large and small will do amazing tricks. Dr. Hairball, the vet, will judge. The Arfo Dog Biscuit Company has even agreed to give out prizes to each and every dog. It’s sure to be the best dog show ever...or is it?

Frank Einstein (kid-genius scientist and inventor) and his best friend Watson, along with Klink (a self-assembled artificial intelligence entity), create the BrainTurbo to power-boost the human body and help their baseball-pitching pal Janegoodall make the team. But when Klank (a mostly self-assembled and artificial almost intelligence entity) goes missing, they must first rescue their robot pal and stop T. Edison - Frank’s classmate and archrival - from stealing their latest invention and using it against them!

Which of the following short stories would you read first? A.) A stubborn donkey challenges a Tennessee race horse. B.) A chess match ends in bloodshed. C.) Two sisters beg a funeral director to play their daddy's favorite Johnny Cash song. D.) A shooter takes aim from a church baptistry. E.) Two astronauts survive a horrific spinout only to return to earth and find everybody else walking around in super slow motion. Why not read them all? They're all in this far-flung collection of short stories and more. Scroll up and get them now with just one click.

When the fourth-grade nerd Demetrius clashes with his bully at lunch, he daydreams about a universe where he fights as his favorite heroes—at least, he assumes it’s a parallel world. Hopefully, Dee will figure things out fast! Kung Fu Crack Baby is a short story and excerpt from the bestselling novel Cracks Of Light, a riveting coming of age story about a young boy who learns lessons about life and the supernatural. Cracks of Light is part of The Cracks Of Light Series by John Charles Reedburg.

Amelia Bedelia and her entire class are going on a hike. Amelia Bedelia is excited. What will she find for the classroom nature table? Amelia Bedelia spots squirrels, deer, birds, and insects along the trail. She has fun splashing with her friends in a stream, collecting leaves, and having a picnic. Best of all, her nature table find is a surprise in more ways than one! An easy-to-listen-to book about friendship and exploring the natural world.

Zeke Stahls is not the best kid in the world. Some days he struggles just to be good. He'd rather be pulling pranks than doing extra credit, and he's too busy performing experiments on his little brother, Nate, or tormenting his older sister, Jackie, to volunteer for charity. Which is why Zeke and his entire family are shocked when they receive word that he has been selected as a contestant in an online competition to find the World's Greatest Kid.

When Amelia Bedelia’s neighbor and very best friend Jen moves away, Amelia Bedelia is sad. One day, a new neighbor moves in. But she isn’t anything at all like Jen. Or is she? Amelia Bedelia discovers that friends come in all shapes and sizes.

In the most hotly-anticipated children's book release of the year, the globally best-selling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series is back, in this hilarious audio edition, read by Dan Russell. Greg Heffley's on a losing streak. His best friend, Rowley Jefferson, has ditched him, and finding new friends in middle school is proving to be a tough task. To change his fortunes, Greg decides to take a leap of faith and turn his decisions over to chance. Will a roll of the dice turn things around, or is Greg's life destined to be just another hard-luck story?

Are you looking for a perfect present to please your little comedian? Welcome to one of the best books about jokes you’ll ever find. Congratulations for having such fantastic taste in books, by the way. The jokes in this book aren’t just any jokes. They are the best kind of jokes, and the best kind of jokes are the kind where a door is involved. That’s right! The jokes in this book are knock-knock jokes.

Being stuck in a traffic jam is already horrible enough. What's even worse is when you have three screaming kids in the backseat. Do you recognize this age-old question coming from the back row of your car: Are we there yet? Ah, this one never gets old. Usually spoken just after you put the key in the ignition. Your children hate to sit still in the car. Boredom takes over before you even leave the driveway.

James Patterson's hilarious story of perseverance and courage shows everyone's favorite troublemaker, Rafe Khatchadorian, the star of the Middle School series, learning to become a leader at long last. After a rough summer, Rafe is heading back to the dreaded Hills Village Middle School, the site of the very worst years of his life. And as if that's not bad enough, he's learned that he's going to be held back a year unless he can prove himself on an outdoor survival excursion.

In book six of the Klawde series, our feline warlord has begun his reign as emperor of the universe! His headquarters? The litterbox command center in the Banerjee family basement. But be careful what you wish for - as Klawde finds out, even the lord of all living matter has to follow the rules, even if they're designed to squelch evil dreams. What's more, plots to overthrow him are rampant, and Klawde needs allies. Who can he turn to?

Even as Julie worries about how her children are coping with the loss of their father and the recent move to their new ghost-town home in Mae’s Second Chance, her youngest son is quietly searching through one of the centuries-old buildings for a treasure he believes that his father means for him to find. But what he eventually discovers is not at all what he expects.Julie Engstrom has brought her family to the deserted ghost town of Mae’s Second Chance. She knew that her family needed something different as they struggled to deal with the loss that has changed their lives forever. Her ...

It's the summer holidays, the weather's great and all the kids are having fun outside. So where's Greg Heffley? Inside his house, playing video games with the shades drawn. Greg, a self-confessed 'indoor person', is living out his ultimate summer fantasy: no responsibilities and no rules. But Greg's mom has a different vision for an ideal summer...one packed with outdoor activities and 'family togetherness'. Whose vision will win out? Or will a new addition to the Heffley family change everything?